


every vow you break (every smile you fake)

by alexfayerose



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Sebastian Being Nice, Sexual Content, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 53,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexfayerose/pseuds/alexfayerose
Summary: Takes place Season 4, after the Klaine Cheating Scandal.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 164
Kudos: 225





	1. Chapter 1

Sebastian’s answer was almost, entirely, unequivocally no. Not only did he not want to spend any more time with Rachel Berry than was absolutely unavoidable, but he really didn’t think a New Directions / Warblers mixer party was a great idea. Half of the New Directions had already graduated, anyway, but would apparently be appearing for the party being thrown, since they were coming home for the holidays, anyway. All well and good-- Berry had extended the invitation to Blaine, who had invited the Warblers. Dealing with both Berry and Blaine in the same room with alcohol? Not Sebastian’s idea of a good time, whether he’d once found Blaine attractive or not. And even that was wearing pretty thin, anymore.

“Is Kurt coming?” he heard Jeff asking Nick, and he glanced up from the Psychology textbook spread out on the table in front of him, pen drumming absently against his notebook. He couldn’t pay attention to his notes, anyway, with how loud they talked. Nick was shrugging a shoulder, looking conflicted.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I know he’s going to be back in Lima for the holidays, but Blaine’s going to be there, and neither of them is handling the break up well, so probably not. Which sucks, it would be good to see him there.” 

Break up? Well that was enough to catch Sebastian’s attention. Love forever and always never lasted, did it? And they’d seemed so perfect, too, when Blaine hadn’t been actively seeking Sebastian out. Maybe Kurt had found out about that-- not that Sebastian had actually gone through with it. He was a lot of things, but the idea of being a homewrecker was less than appealing when he considered that he’d have to deal with Kurt being a bitch about it, but that didn’t mean Blaine hadn’t shown his interest. He couldn’t imagine that Blaine would be all that interesting sexually, anyway.

“Why don’t you text him and ask?” Sebastian spoke up, and two pairs of eyes flew towards him, seemingly surprised that he had been listening. Given how little he cared about Kurt’s general existence, he couldn’t blame them. “Tell him he can catch up with the Warblers while he’s there. He was a Warbler for a while, right?”

“Yeah,” Nick answered slowly, brows furrowing, while Jeff muttered under his breath, “Not that Blaine let him be much of a Warbler,” and Nick elbowed him sharply. Sebastian filed that information away for later use. He could practically hear the questions the other two weren’t asking about why he cared if Kurt showed up, and he  _ didn’t .  _ But if he was going to get any information about that break up, he sure as hell wasn’t going to go asking Blaine about it. He shut his psychology book and stood from the table, waving dismissively.

“See you at the party,” he said, and walked off. 

Kurt  _ did _ show up to the party, he was the first person Sebastian saw when he walked into Berry’s house. Kurt, and then most of the Warblers, and a bunch of the New Directions Sebastain didn’t know or even care to attempt to know. Kurt was the only reason he was really here, anyway. He didn’t look particularly phased by the big break up that Sebastian could see, but then, how would he know either way. And even more shockingly, he was wearing boy clothes-- if those skin tight jeans qualified.

Blaine, on the other hand, was standing in the corner, talking to Berry without really talking to her, his eyes on Kurt like a pitiful puppy. Pining? Not attractive. Sebastain rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Kurt, purposefully walking over to him and snagging the wine cooler from Kurt’s hand.

“Aren’t you the designated driver all the time?” he asked, reminiscent of that fateful night at Scandals what seemed like a lifetime ago, only now, he was mostly being playful. He raised it to his own lips instead and took a drink, a smirk curling up on his lips as Kurt spun around with an icy glare on his face. His eyes were piercing, startlingly blue, and when he saw exactly who it was, all he managed was a heavy sigh.

“Great, this night just couldn’t get any better,” muttered Kurt, so low that Sebastian probably wasn’t meant to hear it. 

“Come on, we’re all friends now,” Sebastian stated with a smile, quick and sardonic, and he handed the wine cooler back. Kurt’s unimpressed look only made that smile grow. But he took the wine cooler and took a large drink from it.

“That’s probably pushing it, and I need something stronger than this if I’m going to be dealing with you, Blaine, and Rachel all night.” He turned towards the table of various alcohols and reached for a bottle of tequila and the line of shot glasses.

“Easy, killer. Don’t want to have to peel you off the floor later. And Blaine isn’t worth the tequila, so if you’re drinking to dull the pain of a break up, it isn’t worth your time.” He took one of the shot glasses when Kurt filled it, and Kurt raised another one with a sarcastic smile.

“I’m not dulling the pain,” he responded, and then swallowed down the shot. The telltale grimace of the burn had Sebastian smirking. Kurt didn’t drink much, especially tequila, and that much was pretty evident. “How did you know that Blaine and I broke up, anyway?” he asked through the cough that came from the alcoholic burn.

“I know a lot of things,” Sebastian replied. He stared at the tequila in the shot glass in his hand and debated for a full fifteen seconds whether or not getting into the heavier alcohol was a good idea. He wasn’t going to end up driving home, so getting drunk and driving wasn’t really something to be worried about. But then, he also wasn’t sure he could be trusted to not start hitting on straight or taken men once he started drinking anything heavier than beer and wine coolers. And then, he decided that, fuck it. It was only what was expected of him, and so he swallowed down the shot and set the glass down. 

“Well, I’m not all that broken up about the break up. He’s all yours if you want him, even if you did just say that he’s not worth the tequila. We both know you don’t mean it.” Kurt sounded so sure, so certain, that Sebastian still wanted Blaine, and Sebastian glanced over to the corner, where Blaine was still watching them. He no longer looked like a kicked puppy, he looked conflicted and angry. Berry’s expression as she eyed them was something of betrayal, though Sebastian wasn’t sure if that was because he was there, or because Blaine wasn’t paying attention to her.

“Well, going over there means dealing with Rachel, and I’m not drunk enough for that,” Sebastian responded, which was enough to draw a laugh out of Kurt. Sebastian smiled, a little surprised. He didn’t think he’d ever heard Kurt laugh before. It was surprisingly less shrill than Sebastian had expected. 

“I’ll keep an eye on her and tell you when the coast is clear for you to make your move,” he joked, and Sebastian laughed. For some reason, actually talking to Kurt felt . . . easy, and amusing. They could hold a conversation much easier when Blaine wasn’t there between them inspiring sharp jabs and insults. He grabbed two beers and pulled the lids off, handing one to Kurt. “But I will warn you, she’ll probably be glued to his side. He is her go-to duet gay.” 

Sebastian scoffed and took a drink from the bottle. “Of course he is,” he muttered with a roll of his eyes. “I bet we could upstage them.” Kurt’s answering expression told him that he didn’t believe that for a second. “Anyway, why’d you dump your dreamboat? Thought you were soulmates or some stupid shit like that.” 

“What makes you sure I broke up with him?” Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. “I was certain you would automatically assume he realized he deserved better.” 

Something Sebastian was not willing to dignify with a response. A year ago, yes, he probably would have assumed exactly that and walked right over to scoop Blaine up for a wild night in bed, only to dump him on his ass after Sebastian had had his fun. He sipped from his beer bottle and shrugged. “Yeah, well, you don’t look bothered at all, and our favorite Warbler is watching you like a child that got his favorite toy taken away. Not hard to conclude what happened in that scenario.”

Kurt looked over and whispered, “ _Oh my god_ ,” upon seeing that Sebastian was right. He was quiet for a moment after that, cradling his beer in both hands, and Sebastian had accepted that he probably wouldn’t get an answer, when Kurt finally said, “Well, he cheated on me, so yes. I dumped him.”

“Wait, I’m sorry, he cheated on you?” Sebastian repeated, holding up a hand in the universal sign for ‘stop’. “And it wasn’t with me?” Not that he ever actually would have, knowing that Blaine was still in a relationship. Riling Kurt up a little bit had been a little bit of fun, but he’d have drawn a line in the sand. 

Kurt snorted, but there was no humor to the sound. “Yeah, I said the same thing. And I’d say no offense, but I don’t think you’d be all that offended.” Sebastian tilted his head, conceding the point. “Some guy named Eli, like two weeks after I went to New York. I still don’t even know what the guy looks like, but if he never gave in to you, Eli must have been something else entirely.”

Sebastian refrained from mentioning that Blaine almost had given in to him on more than one occasion. And that it probably had nothing to do with looks. People determined to cheat would cheat in spite of and despite looks. “Wow. I thought he had more self control than that. Sucks, but you’re in New York. Bigger, better, and hotter, right?” He flashed a smirk, and Kurt rolled his eyes. 

Before Kurt could reply, Blaine and Rachel stepped onto the little makeshift stage thing against the basement wall. “Oh, boy,” Kurt muttered, and he took a big drink from his beer. Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to watch the resident divas strut onto the stage and take the microphones that were there. This was bound to be good-- or, potentially the most  _ unbearable  _ thing Sebastian had ever heard. “Told you. Go to gay. Used to be me once, you know, but they’re vocal soulmates.”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian echoed. 

“Rachel here agreed to help me sing a special song tonight,” Blaine said into the microphone. “A song that I want to dedicate to the love of my life. Kurt, this is for you, to show you how much I will always love you.”

“If he sings Teenage Dream to me one more time, I will be in Lima Correctional Center under heavy suspicion of murder, though Santana would probably help me hide his body,” Kurt muttered so quietly that Sebastian was probably the only one who could hear him. Sebastian exhaled a huff of a laugh through his nose. Maybe he actually was well and truly done with Blaine Anderson.

The song that started was not, actually, Teenage Dream, but actually If You Ever Leave me by Barbra Streisand and Vince Gill. With lines like, ‘If you ever leave me, will you take me with you,’ Sebastian had to bite down on his tongue to choke back the laugh threatening to explode from him. Blaine’s puppy dog eyes were on Kurt the entire song, wide and pleading. The expression of a man who knew he’d fucked something up and would stop at nothing to make it right. Without actually managing to apologize for whatever he had fucked up.

Sebastian leaned closer to Kurt, voice low, as he murmured, “Would you say this is better or worse than Teenage Dream?”

“Shut up,” Kurt bit back, and if Sebastian wasn’t mistaken, he was fairly certain there was a smile in his tone.

“Make me.” 

“You’re insufferable.”

Sebastian stifled another laugh, setting his beer bottle down as the last wavering notes of the song faded to a close and Blaine hopped off the stage. His eyes were bright and earnest when he reached them, and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. This was bound to be an amusing spectical. Kurt exhaled sharply and crossed his arms across his chest. 

“What did you think?” Blaine asked Kurt, entirely ignoring that Sebastian was standing there. For which Sebastian was glad, for once. Glad that he didn’t have Blaine’s attention on him, given how clingy and needy that attention seemed to be. 

“I think that’s a song you sing to your boyfriend,” Kurt replied. “Which I am not, and I told you I wasn’t going to be. You cheated on me, Blaine, that doesn’t just go away.”

“Kurt, I’ve apologized over and over again for that, and it would never happen again. When are you going to realize that we are  _ meant to be _ together? You're my soulmate, Kurt.” 

Had Sebastian not been watching, he may have missed the way Kurt’s shoulders tensed and his spine went rigid. His hands were curled around his beer bottle so tightly that his knuckles were white. Sebastian was pretty sure he was going to punch Blaine in the face, though he had never punched Sebastian in their previous encounters, so his self control had to be pretty great. He took a half step closer to Kurt, anyway, in case he had to break up some sort of prissy cat fight. Not that Kurt couldn’t hold his own. 

“Blaine. You cheated on me. I’m not going to forgive and forget that because you sang some cheesy love song with Rachel and called me your soulmate. When I go back to New York and you get naked with the first guy that bats his pretty eyelashes at you? I don’t want to be your boyfriend when that happens. So no, I’m not your boyfriend, and we aren’t meant to be anything. Stop ambushing me with serenades and flowers and flirty text messages. We are not together anymore, and if that's how you treat your soulmate, I've never wanted to be anything less.”

By the end of his little rambling speech-- which was admittedly more than Sebastian had expected, despite knowing how spiteful Kurt could be-- his voice had risen considerably. Eyes were on them. Rachel looked stunned, and so did Tina and most of the Warblers. Santana, on the other hand, and Finn and Quinn, Jeff and Nick, all had slight, half-smiles on their lips. Kurt standing up for himself was seemingly a rare occurrence; Sebastian could recognize the pride they had for their friend. Blaine’s mouth was agape, looking like a heartbroken toddler. Not an attractive look.

“Nope,” Sebastian cut in as Blaine opened his mouth to retaliate. Or beg more. Neither of which were anything Sebastian wanted to hear. “Cut your losses, dreamboat. I don’t think he’s interested. Let’s take a walk, princess, before you actually explode.” He curled his fingers around Kurt’s bicep and pulled him up the stairs, away from the prying eyes of the rest of their little glee club pals. None of their business, anyway.

A walk to help Kurt calm down sounded like a pretty good idea.


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s like he thinks that if he serenades me with the cheesiest love songs he can find, I’m just going to fall right back into the scent of cologne and raspberry hair gel and let him make sweet love to me like he never cheated at all, and then blamed me for it because I wasn’t there and he was lonely,” Kurt griped bitterly as they walked idly down the street outside of Berry’s house. His temper hadn’t cooled a whole lot, but Sebastian hadn’t expected it to. He just hadn’t wanted to watch the cat fight break out, as amusing as it may have been. 

“Raspberry hair gel?” Sebastian repeated, disgusted. The rest of that was a whole lot to unpack, and he was almost as disgusted with that. Blaming someone else for his own cheating? How absolutely manipulative. He’d be impressed if he didn’t think it was shady as hell. “I’m glad I never ended up in bed with him, that alone would have made me vomit. And that’s probably exactly what he thinks. That he can seduce you with his voice and his sweet, romantic charms like you’re his little princess locked away in a tower and you’ll keep having disgustingly boring gay sex until you’re old and gray.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Kurt asked, turning on his heel in the middle of the street and facing Sebastian with a raised eyebrow. His expression was haughty, eyes almost unreadable in the dim glow from the streetlight overhead. It was hard to tell if he was actually angry, or if this was more of the typical banter between them. “How do you know the sex was boring?”

“Because Blaine is boring,” Sebastian answered, rolling his eyes. Kurt snorted, entirely undignified, and Sebastian smirked. It was almost nice to know that Kurt appreciated his humor, at least a little bit, even if they weren’t really friends. And maybe they were kind of starting to be friends. Kurt was bitchy, sure, and fun as hell to rile up, but he also had a wit that matched Sebastian’s, and he could appreciate that. He would be an interesting type of friend to have, anyway. 

“You wanted to sleep with him last year. A lot, if I recall. And I do recall.”

Sebastian shrugged, starting to walk down the street again. He wasn’t sure how late it actually was, probably nearing midnight, but he didn’t want to get his phone out to look. Neither of them were drunk, but Sebastian, at least, had a nice buzz going, and the chilly air felt nice on his face. He could still walk in a straight line, at least. “Yeah, but just because he seemed like a challenge.” He hadn’t been a challenge, though, and that had been half the fun. And the more time Sebastian spent around Blaine, the more boring he seemed. “I bet the sex was all just missionary, him topping, never trying anything new?”

“That is absolutely none of your business,” Kurt replied sharply, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, like some kind of defense mechanism. He sort of shrunk in on himself, and Sebastian knew without any confirmation that he was right. 

“See? Boring.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Kurt muttered, rolling his eyes.

“You kinda like it. I keep you on your toes. We have fun banter going.” Sebastian elbowed Kurt’s side lightly and got an icy look in reply. His mouth was twisted in a scowl, but it faded quicker than it might have a year ago, and turned into a little smile. Just a shadow, but it was there. In fact, he probably wouldn’t have smiled at all a year ago, given the circumstances, just gotten mad.

“You call it banter? Not just blatantly insulting me?”

“Hey,” Sebastian protested. “I haven’t insulted you once tonight, and I could have mentioned that you sound like a prissy little bitch when you get angry and it would be hot if your only sexual experience wasn’t missionary with a hobbit, but that is your only experience, so you just come off as prissy and sexually repressed. Give me some credit, would you? I’m being nice now.”

Kurt stopped walking again, his jaw dropped and eyes wide. Sebastian faced him, his lips curled into a smirk. “Blaine is boring. I’m not boring, or sexually repressed, at least not to anyone who isn’t probably a walking STD. And your entire insult is nullified by almost calling me hot.”

Sebastian supposed he was supposed to feel insulted or offended, but all he could do was smile, impressed by the way that Kurt could keep up with him and his wit. Intelligence was sexy, and Kurt had that. And more, though Sebastian hadn’t acknowledged the other things about him that were sexy. “Touche,” was his simple reply, and Kurt huffed out a short breath. 

“Unbelievable.” He started walking again, aimlessly, his footsteps echoing on the sidewalk. Sebastian followed him, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. 

“You’re right, you know. You’re not boring. And you’re not almost hot, you are hot,” Sebastian said into the night air, not sure what prompted it. Talking about Kurt being hot wasn’t exactly on his to do list ever, considering he had never talked about it before. But Kurt was, with that porcelain skin and full pouty lips, long legs and a slim frame. “Blaine’s mistake for not seeing it, and for cheating on you.”

“Have we entered into the Twilight Zone? Because I know you're not drunk, so I don’t know what other way you could be standing here complimenting me when you could be back there seducing Blaine instead.”

Sebastian sighed. It was becoming increasingly clear that Blaine was going to be a point of contention for a while to come, even with this subtle attempt at a friendship. That had to go if they were ever going to actually get along. “I don’t want Blaine. He’s pretty. Sure. I’ll say that. He’s also clingy and borderline sociopathic with the way he ambushes you with songs after cheating on you. He’s desperate for attention and pushy and a drama queen, and not in a fun way. And I have eyes, I’m not blind to you being pretty.”

“Aside from my ‘gay face’ and the fashion that we’d only see on a Puerto Rican pride float?” Kurt hedged, though even in the dim light, Sebastian could see a light dusting of pink across his pale cheeks that he was pretty positive wasn’t from the chilled air or the alcohol consumed. 

“You said I had horse teeth, CW hair, a meerkat face, and smelled like Craigslist,” Sebastian bit back, motioning vaguely with one hand. “I don’t even know what Craigslist smells like, so if you could enlighten me on that, maybe I could sleep at night again, because it’s really keeping me up, wondering.”

This startled a laugh from Kurt, low and a little surprised. “I kind of imagined cheap French cologne, whiskey, and dark roast coffee.”

“I only wear expensive French cologne,” Sebastian countered, “so your judgement is a little off.” Kurt laughed for real this time, fuller and a little louder. “Look, we both said some things. Insults because we were going for the throat and being assholes, and because we both thought it was fun to piss the other off and rile each other up. Does it mean we both meant what we said or that things couldn’t have changed? At the time, Blaine was your forever and always and you hated my guts--”

“And now, Blaine and I are broken up, you’re not trying to steal him and, most surprisingly, I don’t hate your guts,” Kurt replied. “Or your meerkat face. Which is kinda cute, in the spirit of honesty, if you’re going to call me hot.”

“Okay, for one, I’m not cute, I am overwhelmingly sexy. But thank you. I don’t hate your guts, either. I never did,” Sebastian shrugged. He motioned over his shoulder in the direction from which they had come. “We should head back before we get too far away or your friends send a search party after me thinking I murdered you.”

“Oh, they definitely don’t think that. Because I would murder you, and they know it.” They turned around, back towards Rachel’s house, where things had hopefully calmed down somewhat in their absence.

“Alright,” Sebastian laughed, “keep your claws sheathed, kitty cat. Blood stains clothes, and you are, for once, wearing boy clothes. I’d hate to ruin what is probably the only reasonable outfit you have.” His smile was softer around the edges than normal, he could feel it, and it was kind of surprising. But he didn’t want Kurt to think it was a serious insult, as opposed to a playful jab. 

“I can’t believe I don’t hate you,” Kurt muttered.

“I keep you on your toes, princess. Get used to it, I’m probably the most fun you’ve had in months.”

Kurt didn’t reply, and the short walk back to Rachel’s house was filled with relative silence and soft little jabs meant more to draw laughs than to really insult. By the time they were back on Rachel’s doorstep, Kurt’s body was relaxed again, and there was a faint little smile on his lips. It made Sebastian feel good, that he could put Kurt at ease rather than be a burden when he was already feeling down. 

“Thanks, Sebastian,” Kurt sighed as he reached for Rachel’s doorknob. “The whole Blaine thing has me stressed out and I haven’t really talked to anyone about it because they’ll probably take his side…”

“I don’t know about that,” Sebastian cut in, thinking back to the looks on the faces of some of Kurt’s friends when he’d stood up for himself. “Santanta, at least, one hundred percent would help you murder him without a second thought.”

“That’s because she needs human blood to keep her young and beautiful,” Kurt replied with a snort, and Sebastian grinned. “Not because she’s on anyone’s side. And I really thought you’d probably take the first chance to jump all over him, but you just listened to me bitch, and it was really nice and very cathartic, especially since you had no reason to.”

“I am glad that it helped,” Sebastian remarked, shrugging his shoulders. No sarcasm in his voice, though there may have been once, had this all happened a year ago. “And I know you’re going back to New York soon enough, but if you ever want to call me and vent, I’m surprisingly down to hear it.”

“Wouldn’t I need your phone number?”

“Give me your phone.”

Kurt handed it over, and Sebastian entered his phone number into the contacts list. For a moment, he considered what to make the contact name, before settling on Meerkat and handing the phone back. Kurt laughed softly, tucking his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. It was almost impressive, the lack of effort it took, given how tight they were. “Meerkat is a nice touch. I was expecting something along the lines of ‘Ohio’s Resident Sex God’ or something equally  _ you _ .”

“You think I’m a sex god?”

“Well, I wouldn’t really know.”

Sebastian nodded slightly. It was a fair enough point. “Well, hey, if you want to, you can call me up while you’re still in Lima. Get a little less boring before you go back to New York.” He offered a wink to accompany the statement. It wasn’t a real offer, in that he was positive Kurt would never take him up on it. Though the thought of the kind of sounds Kurt would make, all sprawled out naked on a mattress-- well. Sebastian might have indulged, if Kurt ever ended up interested in it.

Kurt opened his mouth to reply, but the door opened before anything came out. Tina poked her head out and grabbed onto Kurt’s arm, an alcohol induced smile on her face. “We’ve been issued a challenge for the Single Ladies dance, and everyone knows that we can’t do that without you.”

Sebastian’s mouth dropped open in a toothy grin, and he laughed. “Oh, this I have to see. Lead the way, Beyonce.” He gestured for Kurt to lead the way into the house, and Kurt hesitated for a moment. 

“Ah, I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

“Oh, absolutely not.”

Kurt exhaled a heavy sigh and followed Tina back to the party in the basement, and, unable to keep the smirk off of his face, Sebastian followed. All things considered, this had been a pretty great night.


	3. Chapter 3

More alcohol had been consumed, but Sebastian had awoken clothed, which was comforting. Waking on Rachel Berry’s basement floor had been one of the most disorienting experiences of his life, which was saying a lot, given the places he’d ended up after one night stands. Not the most unpleasant experience, though, given the memory of Kurt, Brittany, and Tina dancing to Single Ladies. They’d been joined halfway through by Finn, who apparently remembered the dance after learning it from Kurt on the football team, a story Sebastian was positive he desperately needed to hear sometime. 

All in all, not a bad night. His hangover wasn’t even that bad as he sat in the Lima Bean, Calculus homework spread out on the table in front of him. Christmas Break or not, he had to keep up to keep his 4.0 in check. The coffee was a good help for that.

“Sebastian.”

The voice was becoming increasingly familiar in an almost annoying way, but Sebastian looked up anyway, catching sight of a startlingly tight pair of -- good lord, those pants were leather-- before his eyes found Kurt’s face. “Hi.” He gestured towards the chair opposite of him at the table, and Kurt hesitated for a moment before sliding into the seat, coffee in hand. 

“You do not have me convinced that you don’t live here,” was Kurt’s greeting, sipping from his coffee. He picked up a paper and glanced over it with a frown. “I never liked Calculus, it makes my head hurt.”

“Yeah, that might just be the hangover,” Sebastian replied, and Kurt grinned, setting the paper back down on the table next to Sebastian’s book.

“I didn’t drink that much. I was sober enough to perform all of Single Ladies without a misstep.”

“Quite impressive,” Sebastian allowed. “And very sexy.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. Something about the look on his face made Sebastian think he didn’t believe that at all. “Right. Well, I was thinking about what you said last night about… you making me less boring before I go to New York.”

“You said you weren’t broken up over the break up, but you must be if you’re considering getting desperate enough to sleep with me,” Sebastian said, closing his Calculus book and tucking his papers back into his notebook. He would finish that later. He was suddenly far more interested in this conversation than he had been three minutes ago. 

“Oh, no, I’m not going to sleep with you, meerkat, let’s take several steps back. But I do want to do something that’s not boring while I’m in Lima.”

Sebastian lifted his coffee cup and took a slow sip. “And bitching your ex-boyfriend out, only to follow it up by absolutely killing Single Ladies wasn’t fun for you? Then what do you have in mind, princess?”

“I want to go to Scandals,” Kurt replied after a moment of hesitation. Sebastian set his coffee cup down, clearing his throat. That sounded like an absolutely terrible idea, all things considered. He hadn’t been back to Scandals since Karofsky. “I didn’t have a whole lot of fun the last time, with Blaine being all over you and then pushing me to have sex with him in the backseat of my car while he was wasted and I was saying no, so I’d like to replace that memory with something fun to take back to New York.”

“Woah, hey, back up several steps. What happened that night?” Sebastian interrupted, holding up a hand. Even more to unpack about Kurt and Blaine’s relationship. How much baggage was Kurt going to dump on him in the course of two days that he was damn near unable to sift through? “He tried to have sex with you in the back of your car? Did he force you?” It didn’t sound like something Blaine would do, but Sebastian didn’t know Blaine all that well, all things considered. 

“No! No, we didn’t have sex that night, we just. Argued,” Kurt rolled his eyes, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s not a big deal. I just want to get a little experience in partying it up in the gay scene before I go back to New York, and who better to show me than you, Ohio’s favorite reprobate gay? Now that you’re somewhat tolerable, anyway.”

Sebastian wanted to take a few more steps back and push the subject, because it didn’t sound like it was ‘not a big deal’. Sexual coercion was sort of a big deal, but maybe Sebastian was misreading the whole situation. It wasn’t his place. “You’re going to find me very intolerable if we go to Scandals and get drunk tonight,” Sebastian pointed out, tucking his notes and book back into his bag. “But if you’re serious, I’ll pick you up at your house at eight. Just text me your address. And wear something presentable.”

“And what qualifies as presentable in your book, Sebastian Smythe?” 

“Boy clothes, Hummel,” Sebastian called back over his shoulder as he turned towards the door of the Lima Bean. He couldn’t fight the smirk off of his face if he tried. And for some reason, he didn’t really want to. 

And truly, Kurt didn’t disappoint by the time Sebastian pulled up to his house to pick him up that night. If Sebastian wasn’t mistaken, he was wearing painted on black skinny jeans and a silky smooth silver shirt with a V-cut that showed off more pale skin than Sebastian had seen from him at one time, jeans tucked into combat boots. Sebastian had toned his own look down somewhat, and he knew who would be pulling the attention tonight. He would normally be jealous, but his job for the night was to make sure Kurt had fun.

“Hey, killer,” was his greeting as Kurt slid into the passenger seat of his car. “I’m impressed, you must have dug deep into the trenches of your closet for two outfits that didn’t feature women’s clothing at all, right in a row.” He smirked as he backed out of the Hudson-Hummel driveway, and then laughed when Kurt smacked his arm.

“Shut up, Smythe.”

“I revisit my former ‘make me’ and remind you that you never did.”

“You are absolutely unendurable,” Kurt muttered. Was that a hint of affection that Sebastian heard in his voice? It couldn’t possibly be.

“I told you I would be, and you didn’t believe me. You did this to yourself, so buckle up for your self-induced torture. I’ll let you pick the music if that makes you feel better. No Broadway.” He tossed his phone to Kurt, already plugged into the aux cord. Kurt looked at it for a moment, raising an eyebrow as he hesitantly pulled open Spotify.

“And what am I supposed to do if you get a sext while I’m holding this?” he asked, gesturing to the phone in his hand.

“Answer it,” Sebastian shrugged, entirely unconcerned by whatever might pop up on his phone. He didn’t have any booty calls calling him up. “Preferably as lewdly as possible. It’ll be entertaining to read later on.” 

“I hate you.”

“You hate that you don’t.”

“Shut up, Smythe.”

"Still not making me. Still offended about it." After a second of silence, Kelly Clarkson’s voice started to play through the speakers. Sebastian could handle that, and so he didn’t protes t it. It was a bit of a drive to Scandals, so he relaxed into his seat, settling in for the long haul. “So, I gotta ask. Blaine was your first, right? Your only actual sexual experience.”

Kurt’s jaw clenched, Sebastian could see it from the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to ruin the tentative sort of friendship they had formed, but it was weighing on his mind, and it had been since the coffee shop earlier. And he’d waited to do this until they were in the car so Kurt couldn’t bail on the conversation, even if it would be better for them both to not have it. “Why does this matter, Sebastian?”

“Look, it just does.”

“Then, yes. He was. But you already knew that, you made it incredibly clear that no one would ever find me sexually attractive last year.” Kurt’s voice was bitter and haughty, the bitchy tone Sebastian was so used to. Sebastian’s comments had apparently hurt a little more than he’d realized at the time. Not that Kurt’s hadn’t been just as barbed or cutthroat, but Sebastian had trained any sort of sensitivity out of himself.

“There are several levels to unpack here,” Sebastian said, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the music. “I’ll start with how I never thought no one would find you sexually attractive and I know that a lot of people are going to tonight, especially in those jeans. But the second level,” He raised his voice to speak over Kurt before Kurt cut him off with some bitchy comment, “is that it’s not about whether or not you’re sexually attractive. Did you have sex with him because of me?”

The music stopped abruptly, and Sebastian’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel, the sudden silence causing him to tense up. He hated silence while he drove, it put him on edge. “What the hell makes you think that?”

“Turn the music back on and answer the question.”

“I didn’t have sex with him because of you,” Kurt answered, though to Sebastian’s annoyance, he didn’t turn the music back on. “I loved him, and it was romantic, and he was very sweet, and…” 

“So it wasn’t because he spent a whole night dancing with me and flirting with me and then tried to have sex with you in the back seat of your car and you felt like if you didn’t give in to that, he’d come to me for a little bit of fun instead?” Sebastian asked, neutral, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of them, the way the white line seemed to shift in the headlights. 

“I… Didn’t think then he would ever cheat on me. But you’re right. He probably would have if I hadn’t slept with him when I did,” Kurt admitted, and Sebastian winced. He sounded so  _ broken _ , and Sebastian wasn’t sure if he could see Blaine again without punching him in the face. Sure, he and Kurt weren’t really friends, but he felt like someone needed to punch Blaine in the face on Kurt’s behalf, and no one else had. “I guess you always would have won, but no, I didn’t sleep with him because of that.”

Sebastian didn’t believe that for a second, but he considered that pushing the point was a bad idea that would only piss Kurt off to a level of bitchiness he didn’t want to deal with. “What do you think I’ve won here, princess?”

“You could have him if you wanted him. You probably always could have.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian agreed. “You’re right, I probably could have.” And it was worse that he knew for a fact he could have. Even before that night at Scandals. Blaine’s texts had never been G-rated. “And I probably still could. But I’m going to Scandals tonight with you, to make sure you have a good time to take back to New York with you. So where do you think my priorities are right now?”

Kurt was incredibly, almost unbearably silent in a way that grated on Sebastian’s nerves, but after another second, the music turned back on, and Sebastian was grateful for it. “Why are you doing this, exactly?” he finally asked, voice barely audible over the music. “Scandals and… everything.”

Sebastian shrugged. He wasn’t sure, himself, what the answer was. Not just that he liked Scandals quite a lot and was always down for a little alcohol and some good dancing. The alcohol, music, and people at Scandals may have been cheap, but it did make for a good time. “Because I don’t have a lot of friends,” he finally replied. “And I’d like to keep the ones that I do.” Because they were kind of friends now, right? That was why Sebastian was… well, what was he doing? Defending Kurt’s honor against Blaine? What the fuck ever. They were friends, that was all.

“How the mighty have fallen. Sebastian Smythe, slumming it with Kurt Hummel and his Puerto Rican pride float outfits.” The brokenness had left his tone, and was replaced with something bordering on fond irritation.

“Oh, this is actually not an outfit I would see on a Puerto Rican pride float.  _ This _ is a highly acceptable outfit, and I’m into it. Super hot, you’re killing it. But I’m definitely slumming it.”

He glanced over to the passenger’s seat where Kurt was sitting, elbowing him lightly. The soft smile he gave Kurt, bordering on vulnerable, was a smile very few people got to see from him. It was meant to show that even this was not a serious insult. A little bit of pink dusted over Kurt’s cheeks, a flush that extended down the pale, exposed skin of his neck. Also hot, which Sebastian could admit to himself now that he had started admitting to himself that Kurt was hot at all. 

“Compliments. Friendship. Have you been replaced by an equally snarky but exponentially nicer clone? Or taken over by aliens?” Kurt asked, exhaling a quiet laugh that somehow still cut over the soft music playing in the car. 

“It’s definitely cloning,” Sebastian answered with a laugh of his own, eyes flitting back to the road as he drove. The atmosphere in the car had lightened considerably, some of the tension easing away. “I have six clones of myself, actually, and we have super hot orgies all the time. I’m just a nice clone.”

Kurt laughed again, louder, the laugh that Sebastian was coming to realize was Kurt’s  _ real _ laugh. He clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle it, and Sebastian smirked, proud. “So that’s why you’re not chasing Blaine. Clone sex orgies are taking it out of you, you don’t have energy for him.”

“From what you’ve told me, I wouldn’t need any energy for him, anyway.” He pulled the car into the Scandals parking lot and twisted the key to turn the engine off. “Alright, Chazz Donaldsworth. Let’s make sure you have a grand old gay time tonight before you scuttle on back to New York to dazzle the Broadway scene with your best Diana Ross impression.”

“I have a much better fake ID now,” Kurt snorted. “I live in New York now, I definitely needed a better one. And it’s just Chris, not Chazz. Whatever kind of name that was.”

“Alright then, just Chris. Let’s go.” He got out of the car and shut the door, locking it behind him, and then he followed Kurt into Scandals, not quite sure he was ready to face whatever this night had in store for them.


	4. Chapter 4

“You know I’m eventually going to turn you away at the door because you are clearly fifteen, Sebastian,” Josh said as he stared down at the fake ID Sebastian had handed him. Sebastian smirked. Josh was one of the regular bouncers at the door of Scandals, and he threatened Sebastian as such whenever he showed up at Scandals, but he had yet to follow through with it.

“I am seventeen, actually,” Sebastian corrected, taking the ID back and slipping it into his wallet. “But tonight, I am twenty four and my name is Barry. And this is my twenty six year old friend Chris, and we are here for some good, wholesome fun before the bright lights of New York City steal him away.” He flashed Kurt a wink, and Kurt rolled his eyes, though he was smiling.

“Go on,” Josh muttered with a roll of his own eyes, motioning them both into the club. He couldn’t fight a smile, either, though, and it did not go unnoticed. Sebastian grinned, lightly pushing Kurt into Scandals ahead of him. 

“You are something else, Barry,” Kurt said sarcastically as they found a seat at the bar, and Sebastian shrugged, swinging his leg over the barstool and making himself comfortable, one arm propped up on the bar.

“If by that you mean I am devastatingly attractive and devilishly charming, then yes. I am.” Kurt scoffed, and Sebastian flashed a wink in his direction, filing away the fact that Kurt did not disagree for a later date. “A Coke for me, and whatever my friend here wants,” he added to the bartender. Kurt’s brow furrowed slightly, and he frowned. 

“Uhm, yes, a strawberry margarita with sugar and lemon. Blended. Thank you.” He twisted on the bar stool, meeting Sebastian’s eyes with a curious expression on his face. “Are you not drinking tonight? I thought I was supposed to be the designated driver all the time.” His voice came across as mildly mocking, and something flashed in his eyes.

“Not tonight,” Sebastian replied, taking his Coke when the bartender handed it to him. “Tonight, you are going to get wasted and dance with every bear in this place, and when you have had a sufficiently good and non-sexual gay time with guys who think that those jeans should not be legal, and find you every bit as sexy as Blaine should have, and you can’t walk in a straight line or talk without slurring, I’m going to drive you back home safe and not sexually assaulted by someone who doesn’t know that alcohol doesn’t mean consent.”

Kurt looked completely stunned, his lips parting in speechless wonder. Like this surprised him beyond words. And that didn’t really surprise Sebastian at all, given that he was very used to people making assumptions about him, and no one had more reasons to make assumptions than Kurt. “That’s… really nice, Sebastian. You are not going any farther in convincing me that you have not been abducted by aliens and replaced with a version of you that doesn’t remember that you are supposed to be an asshole.”

“No, it’s cloning, remember?” Sebastian grinned, and Kurt laughed, taking his margarita from the bartender with a smile. 

“Of course. My mistake.”

“I’ve had my fair share of drunken one night stands and some of them, I really wish that they had realized that my drunkenness was not my consent. Nothing awful, I was never… raped, or anything, but there are a few things I would change if the option was presented to me. But I can’t time travel, and it is what it is.”

Kurt took a sip from his margarita, and Sebastian raised the Coke to his lips to drink from it at the same time. “The more you talk to me about your life, the more I realize I know absolutely nothing about you,” Kurt said, propping his elbow up on the bar and looking at Sebastian with steely eyes that flashed somewhere between grey and blue in the lights of the bar. He tilted his head, swirling his drink with his straw.

“No, you don’t,” Sebastian replied, and for good reason, probably. Kurt was not generally opposed to slut-shaming. “But tonight is not about that. There are at least three guys just within my line of vision who have been checking out your ass in those jeans. So get out there and dance, princess. Best way to get over someone is, as they say, to get under someone else. In this case, you’ll have to settle with some heavy petting.”

“Incorrigible,” Kurt said, pushing to his feet.

“Self-inflicted torture,” Sebastian reminded him with a thin smile, shooing Kurt with one hand out onto the dancefloor. Kurt handed over his margarita, and Sebastian grinned, taking it from him and setting it back on the bar, to keep an eye on it. Not that anyone would dare to try to drug it with Sebastian sitting right there while Kurt went out to dance. And he did not disappoint when he was out on the dancefloor, moving his hips like it was his job. Sebastian took a sip from his Coke, wondering how Blaine had not found this sexy-- how  _ he  _ had ever not found Kurt sexy. 

Sure, Kurt wasn’t what he would normally qualify as his type, but the boy could move. His ass and legs, especially with those jeans accenting them, were enough to make most twink pornstars jealous. Pretty lips, prettier eyes. Practically sinful, especially when he started to move his hips like he knew everyone was watching and he was giving them a show. And maybe he was, though Sebastian had certainly never seen him let loose the way he was at that moment. It was pretty fun to see. 

And the more he drank, the more confident he seemed to get, until what was happening on the dancefloor would have been considered pornographic if not for the layers of clothing still separating body from body. Two margaritas and a few too many shots, and it was a wonder that Kurt could even stay standing properly, let alone move. Sebastian considered the idea that he probably should have cut Kurt off several shots ago, but he knew that Kurt wasn’t in any danger, and he hoped Kurt did, too. He staggered back to the bar and took both of Sebastian’s hands in his own, and Sebastian exhaled a laugh.

“You are very drunk.”

“And you haven’t danced at all,” Kurt remarked, like those two things were somehow associated, tugging at Sebastian’s hands until Sebastian was on his feet. “Come dance with me, Sebby.”

“We are going to discuss that nickname and how much I do not like it when you are sober,” Sebastian cut in, but he let Kurt pull him out into the crowd of men that had gathered onto the dancefloor, a mess of hot and sweaty bodies. Not usually a situation that Sebastain minded in the slightest and would actively encourage at any other moment, but one of those hot and sweaty bodies was Kurt. And he wasn’t going to sleep with Kurt, no matter how good of an impression Kurt was doing of someone who seemed to want to sleep with Sebastian. A scenario that would not have happened were Kurt not drinking.

“I’m impressed. You haven’t implied that you want to sleep with any of these guys even once, or left me for more interesting company.”

“I can promise you, Kurt Hummel, you are the most interesting company in this room. And so wasted you are not going to remember that compliment tomorrow, which I am banking on,” Sebastian laughed, his hands settling on Kurt’s hips to keep him steady, because his dancing was becoming less dancing and more stumbling on the dancefloor and half collapsing against Sebastian’s chest. His back was pressed against Sebastian’s front, and he was still half swaying his hips, pressed against Sebastian’s, who had to remember that Kurt was drunk, and even if he wasn’t, sleeping with him would be crossing a thousand different lines. Probably. He was seventeen, he couldn’t help the way his body responded to a pretty ass pressed flush against his cock.

“Oh, I’m going to remember that,” Kurt argued, though it came out slurred enough that Sebastian was pretty positive it was a lie. That he was capable of words at all was pretty impressive.

“Sure, princess. I do believe I’ve figured something out about you, though. Blaine was holding you back.” 

Kurt’s little sways and attempts at grinding his hips against Sebastian’s halted, and Sebastian couldn’t help but be internally grateful at the loss of friction against his cock, or it was going to start going to his head. And he needed to at least pretend he was staying focused. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You are so much more free with him not around. Dancing like this, drinking like that, and flirting with guys who are probably fifteen years older than you, whether you ever would have slept with them or not. You never would have done that in front of your Warbler. You were so reserved around him. Nothing like you’ve been tonight.”

“No,” Kurt agreed, turning around until he and Sebastian were chest to chest. Sebastian tensed slightly at the movement, but didn’t move to put any space between them. “But you encouraged me to do all of that. To have a fun experience before I go back to New York. Single and still not sexy.”

Sebastian scoffed. “Did he tell you you aren’t sexy? Because if he did, fuck him, seriously. New York is bigger and better and brighter than Blaine Anderson, and so are you. The sooner you learn that, the sooner you won’t need me encouraging you to have fun on your own when that is what your youth should be about.”

Kurt curled his fingers in the fabric of Sebastian’s shirt, looking up at him with impossibly blue eyes. Sebastian looked away, towards the door. Maybe it was time to get Kurt home. He had had his fun, right? That was what he’d wanted .”You’re right, he didn’t think I was sexy. And I’m going to work on that myself, but don’t call him my Warbler. Tonight, you are my Warbler.”

Before he could actually lean in and press their lips together, Sebastian pushed them apart, to keep some distance between them. Kissing Kurt was more tempting now than it had been ever before, and yet, even more impossible. Not only was Kurt kind of drunk, they were also kind of friends. And that was a line that made things very messy and complicated if crossed. Sebastian didn’t do complicated. “It is beyond time that I take you home,” he said simply, keeping Kurt at arms’ length. He hoped beyond hope that Kurt didn’t remember this in the morning. “Come on, killer, before you actually get naked on this dancefloor and I have to explain to a congressman why his son got arrested for sexual acts in a public place.” Or a state’s attorney why his son was at another gay bar with guys getting naked in public.

Getting Kurt into the car was the challenge, but once there, he fell asleep within five minutes of the drive starting. Which was kind of nice, even if it made for a very quiet car ride back to Kurt’s house. He focused on keeping his mind in a safe zone-- one that didn’t jump to sex. A rare and damn near unbearable feat for Sebastian, given that sex was kind of his thing. But he was aware that having sex would have consequences with Kurt in a way it hadn’t with other people-- and that wasn’t even counting the list of people who would rush to castrate him if he did. 

But he hadn’t been kidding about not having a lot of friends. His own fault for being an asshole, and not something that bothered or phased him. He didn’t want to have a lot of friends, which was why he hadn’t reached out a lot to the Warblers. People didn’t tend to like Sebastian, and he didn’t tend to like people. And somehow, Kurt had become his friend-- at least, kind of his friend, whatever that meant for the two of them, and for probably the first time in his life, Sebastian was aiming to not fuck that up. 

Parking his car outside Kurt’s house, he turned the engine off and glanced into the backseat. Kurt was still asleep, curled awkwardly on his side with his arms tucked underneath his head. Sebastian was pretty sure he wasn’t going to manage getting Kurt inside alone, so he walked to the front door and knocked twice, hoping to every god he didn’t believe in that it was anyone but Kurt’s parents who opened the door. 

Who actually opened it was Finn Hudson, the brother, whose expression turned to a sharp glare as soon as he saw who it was knocking in the middle of the night. Sebastian raised both hands in surrender and took a step back. “I’m here in peace. Kurt’s asleep in the backseat of my car and I can’t get him inside by myself. He’s very drunk.”

“Why the hell is he drunk?” Finn snapped, but he was already pushing past Sebastian and out of the house. Sebastian rolled his eyes-- what a helpful display of masculine overprotectiveness. And what a stupid question, one that nearly prompted the sarcastic answer of, ‘He’s drunk because he was drinking, dumbass’, though he managed to stop himself at the last second.

“All of his own volition. The proper way to respond is, ‘Thanks, Sebastian, for making sure my brother got home safe’, but I’ll accept the other thing, too.” He moved to help Finn with Kurt, but it turned out that he didn’t need to. Finn lifted Kurt from the car bridal style, so easily it was as if Kurt weighed next to nothing. “Look, I didn’t do anything to him except pay for the drinks and drive him home. I didn’t even drink.”

Finn fixed Sebastian with a cool look. Maybe Sebastian would have been intimidated by that, if he wasn’t already aware that the only one of Kurt’s friends worth actually being scared of was Santana, but he appreciated that Finn tried. And he probably could have pulled it off, too, he had the muscle mass to do so, but Sebastian had it under pretty good authority that Finn was a teddy bear type of person. He met that look with a cool, unbothered one of his own. 

Sighing heavily, Finn nodded towards the door, and Sebastian pushed it open so he could carry Kurt into the house. “Come inside,” Finn ordered over his shoulder towards Sebastian as he headed down the stairs to where Sebastian was assuming Kurt’s room was. Sebastian balked at the order, “We need to have a conversation.”


	5. Chapter 5

Walking into the living room told Sebastian that he had interrupted what looked like a Red Bull fueled Call of Duty marathon with Finn and the-- the blonde. With the lips. Sebastian couldn’t place the name; he could one hundred percent remember those lips and the sinful thoughts that they had inspired. The name had seemed far less important than that mouth at the time.

“Sebastian?” Blondie asked, looking a little confused but otherwise unphased to see him there, and Sebastian smirked. He was memorable, then. Probably not for good reasons, but hey. Any reputation meant that he was being talked about

“Uh, yeah. You are…?” 

“Sam. I’m a friend of Kurt and Finn’s. I’m living here, currently. Why are you here?” His smile was friendly enough, but his eyes were sharp. Searching for any hint of deception or ill intention, and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Another over protective brother figure? Huh, that was one he hadn’t been prepared for. Where had all these over protective brother figures been when Blaine had cheated? Or even further back, just when Sebastian had been set on making Kurt’s life hell? All in good fun, sure, but it still should have prompted a death threat or two, and he’d gotten nothing. Apparently they cherry picked when they were going to start being protective. Fun.

“I took Kurt to Scandals and he got drunk. I brought him home when I deemed him well and truly wasted.” Sebastian shifted in the doorway between the hallway and the living room, and then sat down in an empty armchair, crossing his left leg over his right one. 

“Yeah. How much did you say he had to drink?” Finn asked as he walked into the living room, dropping down onto the couch beside Sam. He did not sound entirely pleased. Of course he didn’t, Sebastian had not been under the impression that this conversation would be a good one where they proclaimed forgiveness and lifelong friendship. “Because he’s out like a light, and he’s usually a light sleeper. What did you give him?” 

“Finn,” Sam muttered.

“First of all,” Sebastian began, crossing his arms over his chest, voice like ice because he didn’t like the insinuation, “I didn’t give him anything that he didn’t order, margaritas and shots of tequila. He asked me to come with him to Scandals tonight because he wanted to have fun before he went back to New York. I paid for the drinks, I let him have his fun, and I brought him right back here.”

“And what did you get from all of this?” 

“Finn,” Sam repeated, louder and a little sharper. He sounded like he was genuinely annoyed on Sebastian’s behalf, which was… irritating. He didn’t need a knight in shining armor to jump to defend him against someone whose opinion didn’t matter. “You don’t have to be an ass. Blaine said Sebastian’s changed.” Both Sebastian and Finn laughed, echoes of each other. But probably not for the same reasons.

“Yeah, just to clarify, I could give less than a single fuck Blaine Anderson has to say about me, whether he says I’ve changed or not,” Sebastian said, raising a hand to brush through his hair, pushing it back off of his forehead. 

“Yeah, I’m actually going to agree on this one,” Finn confirmed, his glare still fixed on Sebastian, who raised an eyebrow, cold and uninterested. “Blaine’s opinion doesn’t matter to me after he cheated on Kurt. And after everything you did to us last year, to Kurt and to me, things that you never had to pay any sort of recompense for? I don’t trust you, and that’s probably still more than you deserve. I should beat your ass into the ground for all of it, and I’m still considering it.”

“You mean the pictures that I destroyed, and the insults that Kurt and I have already discussed on our own, and the whole thing with Blaine that I never let go farther than a little game of cat and mouse? You mean the recompense that came with David Karofsky attempting suicide? You mean everything I’ve already apologized for?” Sebastian couldn’t help the way his voice was raising, probably too loud for-- shit, it was damn near two o'clock in the morning. When the fuck had that happened? “You’re making this attempt to villainize me because you can’t handle that this time, tonight, I’m not the bad guy. But hey, if you want to make this a fight, I’d love to get a few hits in.”

“Okay, let’s just simmer down,” Sam intervened, holding up both hands in a placating gesture. He grabbed Finn’s shoulder, and it was unclear whether it was meant to be comforting or restraining. Sebastian didn’t care. At this point, he was ready to go a couple rounds with Finn Hudson for better or for worse. He was on the lacrosse team, he was pretty sure he could land a few good punches before Finn beat him down. “Kurt did ask Sebastian to go to Scandals with him and he is an adult who can hang out with whoever he wants to, and he doesn’t owe us an explanation for that. And it kind of sounds like they just had fun, which is a good thing.”

Sebastian wasn’t sure who was more surprised, himself or Finn. None of the New Directions would find it in themselves to go up to bat for Sebastian, not that he wanted them to. It was just surprising that Sam had. And confusing, inspiring questions that Sebastian didn’t put a voice to. Finn just gaped at Sam, anger, betrayal, and confusion warring on his face. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Did you touch him? Try to… try to sleep with him?” Finn demanded suddenly, eyes flying back to Sebastian’s face, and Sebastian barked out an uncontrollable laugh, too loud in the quiet room. This was fucking ridiculous.

“I’m sorry? Do you think that if my end goal was to sleep with Kurt, I would have brought him back here? He drank, which was probably pretty good for him, because he told me he hasn’t really talked to anyone about Blaine cheating on him because he thinks you’ll take Blaine’s side.” Finn jerked back like he had been slapped, but Sebastian pressed on, unrelenting. “Maybe he just needed a night to not think about the fact that all of his friends are still buddy-buddy with the guy who cheated on him and blamed him for it.” 

Sebastian pushed himself up, out of the arm chair. Kurt was home and fast asleep, and he had no reason to stay here and listen to and be accused of things he hadn’t done. Sure, he was a bad person, and he’d done some pretty awful things, but even he had to draw a line somewhere. And people were allowed to change. Being seventeen and growing up and learning about the consequences, that changed people.

It had certainly changed Sebastian. He still had trouble sleeping some nights, thinking about Karofsky. Thinking about the role he had played. He still swallowed back the urge to cry over a glass of whiskey and wondered what would have happened if he’d been just a little nicer. He didn’t know if any of that was ever going to stop, and he and Karofsky still weren’t even friends.

“Oh, and just because I like sex doesn’t mean I’m going to do shit with people who are too drunk to understand what they’re consenting to.  _ I  _ have respect for people’s boundaries, something I’m told Blaine does not, when he’s been drinking.” He would leave them to mull that over, figure out what that meant. It wasn’t his story to tell, but he was positive Kurt would never tell it. If everyone was still so certain Blaine was a great guy. 

He had turned on his heel and was just crossing back out into the hallway when Sam spoke up. “Sebastian, just crash on the couch tonight.” Sebastian paused midstep, turning to face Sam with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s a two hour drive back to Dalton Academy, it’s two in the morning, and you look like you’re dead on your feet. Kurt and Finn’s parents are in DC so it’s not like there are going to be any awkward questions to try and answer. Just crash here tonight, you can leave in the morning when Kurt kicks you out because he’s bitchy that you let him drink so much and his hangover is killing him.”

Finn looked less than pleased with the offer, which only enticed Sebastian even further to accept it. “Alright, fine,” he replied, gesturing dismissively. “I’d probably pass out on the drive back to Dalton, anyway. Safer to just crash here.”

“Cool,” Sam said, and he looked almost happy with the answer. He turned off the XBox and the TV.

With a heavy sigh, Finn pushed himself up and retrieved a pillow and blanket from a closet in the hallway. Dropping them both on the couch when he returned, he glanced at Sebastian with a carefully schooled expression. “Do you care about Kurt?” Sebastian may not have noticed that Sam was also listening for the answer, had he not seen the way he purposely slowed how he was wrapping the cord around the XBox controller.

Sebastian scoffed. “As much as I care about anyone.” An answer that now stretched the boundaries of the truth. He wasn’t about to start picking out curtains or some shit, have sleepovers with Kurt and talk about the latest gossip. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care; his version of friendship was just different than other people.

This prompted nothing more than an eyeroll as Finn walked out of the living room. Sebastian caught the murmuring under his breath, something that sounded like, “Yeah, that’s what worries me.”

Sam sighed slightly, raising his shoulder in a shrug. He was quiet for a few moments, before he opened his mouth and started to explain, voice soft. “A couple years back, things got rough for Kurt. Like, really rough--”

“Karofsky. I know.”

“Kurt told you?”

“No,” Sebastian answered, shaking his head. “Karofsky did. I visited him in the hospital after… everything and he just kinda spilled the whole story. I doubt whether Kurt knows I know, it’s not something he would tell me about.”

“Right,” Sam nodded, fidgeting with the joystick on the controller for a moment. “Well, thing is, back then when it was all going down, everyone kinda got on Finn for not keeping an eye out for Kurt. Not standing up to Karofsky because he was scared to lose his popularity, and by the time he did, it was too little, too late. Karofsky had threatened to kill Kurt, and Kurt transferred to Dalton Academy. Where he met Blaine. Now I think he kinda overcompensates for thinking he didn’t do enough back then, and now, for the fact that that’s how he met Blaine and that didn’t turn out well, by being ridiculously overprotective. Like it makes up for things, somehow.”

Sebastian nodded slowly, moving to the couch. He propped the pillow up against the arm of it, avoiding Sam’s gaze. “And what about you? You feel guilty about something, too. I see that in your face.”

Sam hesitated. “Yeah. Maybe. I was homeless around that time, and Kurt gave me clothes and helped us pay for things when I didn’t have much. He was there for me when a lot of people weren’t, just a really good and loyal friend. I feel like I kinda let him down with the whole Blaine thing.”

“And standing up for me to his brother is going to help that? The brother that hates my guts?”

“No,” Sam snorted. “God no. But if you really did help him get out of his head a little bit tonight, to stop thinking about it, listened to him bitch about it if that’s what he wanted… and I mean, you got him out of Rachel’s party when Blaine was making a scene, and all of that leads me to think that you care, too. So, like, honestly dude, you can’t be that bad.”

Sebastian exhaled a laugh, though to his own ears, it sounded more disbelieving than anything. “Sure.” He stretched out across the couch, resting his head on one arm. He was one hundred percent  _ that bad _ , even if recent events made a valiant effort to disprove it. Sam nodded to him once more, like it was a silent goodnight, and started to leave. And then he paused, turning back to Sebastian slowly.

“Hey, you said something about… Blaine and boundaries. And the only person Blaine has been with is Kurt, and apparently the guy he cheated with, so what… did he do that didn’t respect Kurt’s boundaries?”

“I don’t think that’s my story to tell,” Sebastian answered slowly.

“We both know Kurt won’t, and this kinda feels like something other people need to know, Sebastian.”

“Yeah. We do know that.” Sebastian was quiet for a moment, and then he shrugged. “Look, it’s my fault, probably. But we went to Scandals last year, all three of us. Blaine and I were drinking and dancing and Blaine got very drunk, very quickly. I’m positive he only had one drink, but he was acting like he’d gone shot for shot, the way he was slurring. Apparently, he tried to get Kurt to have sex in the backseat of the car. Kurt said no. Blaine pushed it. They argued. I don’t know any more than that, except that he slept with Blaine not long after. And I can't help think that that was because of me.”

Sam’s eyes were fixed on the powerless screen of the TV, lips parted slightly. He was silent for a moment, a moment that lingered in the air with tension. “I wouldn't put it past Kurt to have slept with Blaine because he was worried about Blaine sleeping with you, but it's not your fault that Blaine tried to push him like that. Drunk or not. So the next time Blaine makes some scene about how Kurt is his soulmate. We’re going to kill him, right? You, me, Santana.”

“Strange company I’ve found myself in,” Sebastian muttered, tossing his arm over his face to cover his eyes. “But damn straight we are.”


	6. Chapter 6

“What the hell, Sebastian?”

Sebastian looked up at the sound of his name, eyebrows raised. Waking up at the Hudson-Hummel home had been a strange and disorienting experience. Kurt had cooked breakfast, even despite his hangover, and thanked Sebastian for bringing him home safe, sans any mention of the kiss that had almost happened. And then Sebastian had gone home, driven back to Dalton Academy with a sense of contented ease. He’d retained that sense of contented ease throughout the rest of break, and saying goodbye to Kurt at the Lima Bean before he flew back to New York for his resumed classes. 

That same easy contentment seemed to be over now that school was back in session, considering the disruption to his studying. And seriously, didn't Blaine have his own classes to go to? His own studying to do? What the fuck was he doing here, _again_? “Considering that you no longer attend Dalton Academy, you spend an awful lot of time in Dalton Academy. Why are you here?”

Blaine’s eyes were filled with rage, and Sebastian leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, closing his History textbook. It seemed that his studying was over for the afternoon, considering the five foot ball of anger now standing on the other side of the table and glaring at him with all the intimidation of a newborn puppy. “What the hell is going on with you and Kurt?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, killer,” Sebastian answered, crossing his arms over his chest. Blaine’s eyes flashed, and Sebastian smirked. Oh, this was going to be good fun. If only Blondie were there, too, it was bound to be far more fun, but he could make do with just this. “You sort of burned that bridge, didn’t you? In the sheets with someone else?”

“That is  _ none  _ of your business,” Blaine snapped. 

“Actually, sunshine, that became my business the second Kurt told me it happened. Let me ask you something. Why did you do it? If he’s your soulmate, right, what prompted you to sleep with somebody else? Because I’m an asshole by choice, happily, and even I think that that’s pretty shitty of you.”

“Kurt is my soulmate,” Blaine insisted, as if saying it louder would somehow make it more believable. And even if Sebastian believed in the idea of soulmates-- he didn’t-- he sure as hell didn’t believe Kurt and Blaine were anything of the sort.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Sebastian interrupted sarcastically, cocking his head slightly and watching as the debate Blaine was having in his mind played out on his face, the debate of whether or not he should just punch Sebastian and be done with it. Sebastian hoped that he would, it would give him a good reason to punch back.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sebastian. You need to stay away from Kurt, because I’m going to get him back, and I don’t need you trying to use him in the meantime.” His voice was loud and passionate, and it grated on Sebastian’s nerves. He didn’t believe the display for even a second, as eager as it seemed.

“Actually, I don’t think you’re going to get him back, and you know how I know that? Because when we went to Scandals the other night, he wasn’t even thinking of you. He was having fun, and flirting, and you weren’t even a thought in his mind.” Sebastian stood, hands slamming down against the table as he leaned forward over it. “He’s realizing that he’s worth more than you, he can do better than you, and he always could. You were doing nothing but holding him back, convincing him that he's not sexy and that he needs to change himself to be what you find desirable, and he's starting to realize that he doesn't have to change. And that has nothing to do with me, because I’m not trying to sleep with him, and he doesn’t want to sleep with me, either.”

“He was flirting with guys because you got him drunk,” Blaine argued, which was debatably the least important part of what Sebastian had said. He grit his teeth, pushing the table forward a little, until it pressed into Sebastian’s stomach. Sebastian scoffed, disbelieving. So the hobbit had some guts. “I heard Sam and Finn talking about you bringing him home so drunk Finn had to carry him inside. What, did you drug him?” Maybe the question was meant to sound sarcastic, but it fell a little flat.

“You know, I’m really sick of that assumption,” Sebastian snapped sharply, his nails pressed against the wooden surface of the table. “I can take someone out to have a good time without needing to slip them drugs. Like I didn’t slip you drugs that night you got wasted on one beer and tried to push Kurt to have sex with you in the backseat of his car.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Nick was walking into the room, wide-eyed, with Jeff just over his shoulder behind him. His expression made it clear that he had heard what Sebastian had said, and he was watching Blaine with a mixture of shock and revulsion. It was nice to see someone not looking at Blaine with a sickening level of hero worship.

“That’s not what happened,” Blaine answered, though his face had gone ashen-grey. The way his eyes flitted back and forth anxiously between Jeff, Nick, and Sebastian was sign enough that he was lying. The way he was fidgeting with his shirt and tapping his fingers against his thigh were also dead giveaways. Sebastian was studying psychology, and he had learned the signs that gave away a liar.

“Really? Okay, let’s say I believe you. I don’t, but because it’s a fun game, let’s just say I do. What about all those texts you sent me? How about the times you told me you got yourself off thinking about what I would do to you if I was there with you, or if we went to Scandals alone? Go on, lie your way out of that, sunshine. I have the text messages saved in my phone. Should I show Kurt those?” He had been keeping them for a reason. Maybe this was the reason, right here, standing in front of him and shaking like a Chihuahua.

Blaine’s face was white as a sheet. Sebastian couldn’t tell who looked more pissed, Jeff or Nick. A quick glance in their direction told Sebastian that Jeff was physically restraining Nick with a hand around his wrist. Good, so Sebastian wasn’t the only one on his last nerve. Eventually, he was going to just hit his limit and break Blaine’s jaw, but his self-control hadn’t fallen that far yet.

“So let me just clarify,” Jeff began, voice deceptively calm. The tremor in his spine gave away his fury at the situation. “You accused Kurt of cheating on you because of some playful, jokingly flirtatious text messages a guy sent to him that were mostly innocent, but the whole time, you were literally sexting Sebastian? And you call Kurt your soulmate? That’s not how  _ I  _ would treat my soulmate.”

“I find the whole concept of soulmates stupid and cringey, but no, it doesn’t seem to fit the lore, does it?” Sebastian mused, leaning against the edge of the table. Blaine’s eyes fixed on him with so much hatred that it felt like he was trying to set Sebastian on fire with his gaze alone. “Hey, killer, don’t glare at me. You knew my game from the day we met.  _ You  _ chose to answer my texts, and you chose to send x-rated text messages back, while you were the one who had a boyfriend. Just for the record, this is why I don’t do relationships. There’s blame to place here, but it sure as hell ain’t on me.”

Apparently sensing that there was no possible way to turn this conversation in his favor, Blaine changed tactics. “When did you suddenly become so interested in Kurt? You two hated each other last year when you were all over me, trying to get me to sleep with you, but suddenly he’s your new target?”

Nick jerked forward, stopped only by Jeff’s hand around his wrist. Sebastian stepped around the table, using one hand on Nick’s shoulder to pull him back, placing himself between Nick and Blaine. If someone was going to get the first hit in, it was either going to be Sebastian on Blaine or Blaine on Sebastian-- he wasn’t going to let Nick get involved if this was going to get physical. It was a little selfish, but more so that Nick couldn’t afford to get expelled, and Sebastian would be able to get himself out of trouble.

“Let’s just get this straight. I thought the whole bashful schoolboy thing, the charming naive Disney Prince vibe you had going on, was super sexy, but the more I get to know about you, the more I realize you only play a role in a Disney movie as the shitty second option the princess passes over for the actual prince. You’re manipulative and a liar, but the worst part is, those two traits still aren’t enough to make you interesting! You’re boring. I talk to you and I start snoring because I’m  _ bored _ .” Blaine looked affronted, mouth opened to respond, but Sebastian pushed on, voice raising. If there was one thing he hated, it was being interrupted when he was in the middle of a good rant. “No, shut the fuck up, because for once in your goddamn life, nobody fucking cares what you have to say. If you come back onto Dalton Academy campus and try to start shit with me, or you try to start shit with Kurt, I will use those text messages you sent me to ruin your life.”

Blaine’s eyes went kicked-puppy wide. “You wouldn’t show those messages to Kurt. If you were going to, you would have by now.”

Sebastian laughed, short and derisive. “Oh, no. Not to Kurt. I would, however, show them to Santana.”

The stare down lasted for a full thirty seconds, hanging heavy and loaded between them. It was damn near tangible, like it could be cut with a knife. Sebastian didn’t back down. And then, finally, Blaine deflated, and turned on his heel to storm out of the study hall area, the door slamming shut behind him.

“He’s not done,” Jeff warned into the silence that followed. “He’s going to keep going after Kurt.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Since when do you care?” Jeff asked carefully, and Sebastian shot him a look. Both of his hands flew up, and he took an automatic step back. “No offense, just, you know. He was right. You and Kurt weren’t exactly friends, but now… you were about ready to go Fight Club on Blaine because of him.”

“When I inevitably kick Blaine’s ass, it won’t be because of Kurt. And look. After last year, after Karofsky… Things are different now. We’re friends. No strings, no catch, no punch. He’s a friend, and that’s that. And that’s why I haven’t shown him those messages. He’s already insecure about the whole thing, and I feel like that would just make things worse.”

Nick and Jeff exchanged a glance, and then Nick nodded slowly. “I don’t know about that, he may need to know that Blaine was doing that, but that’s your choice. And, I mean, good. You could both use some decent friends.”

“Decent,” Sebastian repeated with a scoff.

“Yeah, decent.” He punched Sebastian’s shoulder lightly as they both left the room, leaving Sebastian there alone.

He leaned back against the table again, exhaling a heavy sigh. Raising one hand, he rubbed lightly at his eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. Being a decent friend was exhausting. He hadn’t anticipated that. The more they talked, the more Sebastian genuinely hated Blaine. At the same time, the more he talked to Kurt, the more he felt like they could have an actual friendship, which was more confusing.

Dropping back into his chair, Sebastian groaned. He had no motivation to start studying again, even though he really did need to study more, so he started to pack his books back into his backpack, when his phone vibrated in his blazer pocket. Frowning, he pulled it free, glancing at the screen.

**From: Princess:** _ You remember how you said you have clones? Send one to New York to entertain me or teach me how to clone Rachel’s boyfriend. If he’s going to walk around my apartment naked, I deserve to have some fun, too. _

Laughing, Sebastian rolled his eyes, typing back a quick message himself.  **To: Princess** : _ What would my clone be doing to entertain you, princess? Tell me in overwhelming detail. And actually, why not both? You deserve a good threesome. _

**From: Princess** :  _ Keep it in your pants, Bas. _

**To: Princess:** _ Never. _

Sebastian slipped his phone back into his pocket, feeling considerably lighter, just from that short text conversation. He hadn’t talked to Kurt since Kurt had returned to New York a couple days before, and he was surprised to find that he had kind of missed easy conversation with Kurt. And if such a simple conversation could make him feel so light, could wash away the shitty taste in his mouth from his argument with Blaine? 

God, he was so fucked.


	7. Chapter 7

Sebastian had been dead asleep when the ringing of his phone jerked him out of his dream. It had been a good dream, too. Bodies and heat and sweat and sex. The kind of dream that was telling him he hadn’t had sex in far too long. That would need to be remedied sometime. Groaning, he reached for his phone, snatching it off of the bedside table, pressing the accept call button without looking at the number on the screen. 

“You better have a good reason for waking me up at--” He glanced at his phone screen and took in the time-- 8:32 in the morning-- and the name on the screen. Princess. Huh. “Jesus, Kurt, it’s not even nine. Why are you calling me?” 

“I hear you threatened Blaine.”

No preamble, no greeting. Sebastian sat up in bed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Yeah? Who did you hear that from?” He pushed his blankets back and stood up, stretching the length of his spine until he heard a satisfying crack. God, he needed a full body massage. Lacrosse practice was really kicking his ass. 

“Rachel. Who heard it from Blaine,” Kurt answered.

“Ah, and you believed him?”

“Oh, him?” Kurt laughed quietly. “I don’t take his word on anything at this point. Jeff and Nick, however, wouldn’t lie to me about this. And I already confirmed it with them. What happened?”

“He showed up on campus, which is a wonder in of itself because this campus does have security. He shouldn’t be able to get in without a student pass, but whatever. Once a Warbler, always a Warbler, even to the staff, I guess.” Sebastian cradled his cell phone between his ear and shoulder as he walked to his closet to find something to wear. “He got pissed off at me, seems to think I’m using you and I’ve made you my new target. I’m paraphrasing, but I told him that if he wanted to keep pushing me, I’d make him regret it.”

“You are not threatening Blaine because of me.” He didn’t sound angry, but he did sound somewhat disappointed, and Sebastian sighed. He was going to do whatever he wanted, anyway, but there would at least be a premise of hesitation if he knew Kurt was disappointed in his choices. 

“I am threatening Blaine because it’s high time someone punched him in the face, and I want to be the one to do it. That has absolutely nothing to do with you, princess, sorry. Not exactly playing your knight in shining armor.” Sebastian dug a pair of jeans out of his closet, tugging them up his legs and buttoning them quickly, attempting to keep his phone where it was between his ear and shoulder while he did. “And if he keeps storming in here with his assumptions, like the assumption that I drugged you? I’m gonna hit him, and I’m not even going to feel bad about it, because he deserves it.”

He could hear Kurt sighing on the other end of the line, as he turned his speaker phone on, setting his phone down. “ _ Drugged me _ ,” Kurt repeated, and it was almost as if Sebastian could hear him rolling his eyes. “I agree. He’s crossing lines that he shouldn’t cross, but he was also in the fight club, and he would fight back. And you would get in trouble, probably expelled, maybe arrested. It’s not worth it.”

Sebastian pulled on a clean shirt, barely containing an eye roll of his own. “My father is a state’s attorney, I can get away with pretty much whatever I do, that’s how I have a fake ID and a long line of bad decisions that I haven’t gotten into trouble for.” He was not exactly proud about it, but that was just Sebastian’s life. It was easier for his father to throw money at the problems than to actually be a father.

“Sebastian.”

“How do you think I didn’t get expelled from Dalton after the great rock salt incident?” Sebastian countered, picking up his phone from where he had set it and turning off the speaker. He shut the closet door and walked back to the bed to sit down. 

“That’s a thing we’ll address later,” Kurt cuts in, “but that’s not the point right now. He is not worth your time or the trouble that it will bring down on you. You’re a senior this year, right? Focus on getting into college.”

“Okay, Dad,” Sebastian responded sarcastically, falling back onto his bed. “I didn’t know you cared.”

“Oh, shut up,” Kurt muttered, “yes you did.” 

He hadn’t, actually, so that was news. Filed away with the other bits and pieces he picked up during his time with or around Kurt. Someday, all of that information would be useful for something. “Sure. Look, just be careful, alright? I don’t think Blaine’s given up on trying to get you back, and being in Ohio isn’t going to stop him from his grand gestures fit for some cliche rom com. Don’t fall for it.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Kurt replied cheerfully, and there was a hint of amusement in his voice. Sebastian couldn’t place the reason for that amusement. “I can take care of myself.” He sounded very confident, and Sebastian, for once, didn’t doubt that. “I have to go. Don’t kill Blaine.”

“No promises.” 

That was the end of the conversation, no goodbye. Kurt had already hung up, anyway. Sebastian locked his phone and set it down on the bedside table. It was still early, so he would probably have to get some good studying in, for all that he had lost due to Blaine drama. That would be most of the afternoon. But tonight, he decided, he was going to Scandals. 

By the time eight pm rolled around, Sebastian was burned out on homework, and in desperate need of a break. He changed into skinny jeans and a tight v-neck t-shirt, grabbing his keys and phone from the table. There was a curfew at Dalton, but it wouldn’t be the first or the last time that he had broken it. He was keyed up when he finally pulled into the Scandals parking lot, seeking some form of entertainment and stress relief. If that ended up being sex, well, he wasn’t going to complain.

“Where’s your friend?” Josh asked at the door, waving away the ID Sebastian was trying to hand him. “I’ve already seen that and I know it’s fake.”

“And you let me in anyway, which is why you’re my favorite. And he’s back in New York. That was a one night thing.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at those,” Josh pointed out, and Sebastian shrugged. 

“I am, yeah. But not with him.” He flashed a smirk and walked into Scandals, making his way to the bar. He found himself sitting at the same barstool he had sat on when he’d come here with Kurt. That had been, what? Nine days ago now. It seemed both longer than that, and like it had just been the day before simultaneously. He ordered a beer, looking around the bar once he had it in hand. 

It was virtually empty, sans a few older men playing pool and a couple of younger ones dancing on the dance floor to whatever cheesy music they had playing tonight. Sebastian raised his beer to his lips and took a drink, assessing each man. No one was really his type tonight. No one stood out, demanding his attention. Well, whatever, he would just get drunk then. That still qualified as stress relief. 

“Long time, no see.”

The barstool beside him pulled away from the bar, and Sebatian looked up. He was silent for a moment, nearly dropping his bottle. This was not a situation he was emotionally prepared to handle. “David. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

David Karofsky sat down, raising a finger to order a beer for himself. “Figured it was time to start putting myself back out there.” He took a drink of his beer, setting the bottle down on the bar.

“Ah, well. You… look good, David,” Sebastian replied, carefully searching David’s face for any sign that he was still on that fragile edge he had been pushed over the year before. That Sebastian had aided in pushing him over. He grit his teeth and looked away, taking a long drink from his beer bottle.

“You look at me, and you still look so guilty,” David pointed out. Sebastian frowned, picking at the label on his beer bottle. “Sebastian, I don’t blame you for what happened. You and Kurt have this way of taking the blame for something that didn’t fall on you. I took what I had dished out for months, and I couldn’t handle that for a week. Maybe it was my payment for what I’d done.”

“No, that’s not your payment. You shouldn’t hate yourself so much you want to kill yourself as a way to pay for what you said and did when you were sixteen and scared of what you felt. No one should feel that way,” Sebastian argued, glancing at David from the corner of his eye. 

“I appreciate that. But seriously. All you did was say I was fat, and that’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t apologize, I know you’re sorry. You told me already, and the donations from Dalton Academy helped pay for the hospital bills and my first couple therapy sessions.” He took a sip from his beer and Sebastian exhaled a short, sharp breath. “Anyway, do you have a mark in mind for tonight?”

Sebastian snorted and glanced around the bar again, thankful for the subject change. The donations from their regionals performance had just been damage control. At least, that was what his father had told him-- trying to save face when he got himself in over his head with this situation. In his opinion, it still hadn't been enough. “Nah. Not tonight. Just here to drink a little bit.” He wasn’t feeling the idea of trying to seduce some stranger into a quickie in the bathroom tonight. Maybe before Dave had sat down, but now the idea just didn’t appeal to him. Alcohol was enough stress relief, pushing the Kurt and Blaine drama out of his mind for the night. 

"Well, you should dance with me then,” Dave said, sounding entirely casual and more confident than Sebastian had had any reason to expect he even could sound. 

“Is this your way of hitting on me?” 

“No,” David laughed, “sorry. You’re attractive, but I’m not ready to enter into the dating scene, or your one night stand scene. Just a dance. As friends.” His smile was warm and friendly, and for a second, Sebastian could see what a potential boyfriend would find stunning about Dave Karofsky. His eyes were bright, his smile nice to look at, and what Sebastian had called baby fat was actually a nice plane of muscle. Someday, Karofsky was going to make someone really happy, when he finally put himself out there.

“Alright,” Sebastian agreed, finishing off his beer and standing up. “Let’s dance.” 

One dance turned into two, turned into three, with idle chit chat as they were out on the floor. Dave was sort of awkward and clumsy, but he was having fun, and Sebastian found that, maybe he was, too. A lot of things had changed in a very short amount of time. This time last year, he never would have found himself actually being friends with Karofsky, or Kurt. He certainly never would have found himself having fun with them. 

“You have two left feet,” Sebastian said.

“I’m not in one of the most prestigious glee clubs in the country,” David replied, rolling his eyes. “I did join the McKinley club for like a week, though, and they said I didn’t do too bad. I think I could even say I’m better than Finn.”

“ _ That _ is not saying much. If you didn’t do too bad, why didn’t you stay?” 

“I was scared of it, I guess. Guess I shoulda realized the bullying wouldn’t be much of a problem if I wasn’t the one dishing it out, but I took one slushie to the face and panicked. I think I would have enjoyed it in the end, being in the glee club, but they hated me for what I did to Kurt, and I was a coward.”

Sebastian nodded slightly, closing his eyes and listening to the music that was playing around them. “You know they forgave you, right?”

“I know.” 

The conversation died out then, and they finally left the dancefloor to make their way back to the bar. Sebastian ordered two more beers, waving a hand when Karofsky protested his paying for them both. “Shut up, I’m paying with my dad’s money.” He took his beer and raised the bottle slightly. “Cheers.”

“What are we saying cheers to?” 

“Closure, I guess. I didn’t realize that I needed it, but you are right. I still felt guilty about things. Maybe I can let it go now.”

David smiled, raising his bottle to Sebastian’s and touching them together lightly. “Alright. To closure. I’m glad I could give you that. You have changed a lot, Sebastian, it’s really nice to see.”

“Guess I’m growing up.” A statement that once would have been something terrifying. He had held on to his youth, treating his life like it was a joke, hurting other people and himself all at the same time, and never stopping to understand that living life that way would have serious consequences. Karofsky had put that into perspective for him; how many people had his words inadvertently pushed to that edge? What kind of trouble would he have gotten himself into, blackmailing Finn and Rachel like he had the year before? Could he have pushed Kurt as far as Karofsky had with his own words? 

Now it was all in clarity. He was going to be eighteen, graduating, and moving to wherever he decided to attend college. Life was picking up, and he was hitting the point where his actions didn’t just wash away. It was beyond time to start acting like it. 

“You’re not a bad guy, Sebastian,” David said, cutting into Sebastian’s thoughts.

Snorting, Sebastian sipped his beer. “I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. Make no mistake, I still think your eyebrows make you look like Liberache.” 

David rolled his eyes, though he was laughing, and Sebastian grinned. “Sure.”

Sebastian just scoffed, shaking his head. Friends, he decided, weren’t such a bad thing to have. And closure was an even better thing to have. Time to let himself move on from this, and from all the nightmares it had caused.


	8. Chapter 8

When the plane touched down, Sebastian’s legs were asleep and the headache pressing at his temples showed no sign of wavering. He loved his mom, sure, but an hour and a half stuck on a plane while she talked about her business venture, the opportunity she had to open up a branch of her business here was enough to drive him insane. His mom was smart, she had started a business in the sales of organic and vegan antibiotic supplements. She worked with several big brand companies, selling their products, and now she had the opportunity to expand, and that was great, but Sebastian really didn’t care at all.

  


“You didn’t come to New York with me because you care about all the business meetings I’m going to be attending this weekend,” his mother said as they retrieved their luggage from the baggage claim. 

  


“Oh, no. No offense, Mom, but I could really care less. But it was better than spending all weekend alone with Dad, and I have some friends in New York that I may hang out with while I’m here.”

  


Not that Kurt had any idea that he was in New York. He had messaged Sam to get Kurt’s address, who had gotten it from Finn. He didn’t even know if Kurt would be able to spend any time hanging out, but the truth of it all was that he wouldn’t have survived staying in Ohio alone with his dad all weekend. They didn’t get along, they never had. Beaumont Smythe had never wanted to be a father, and had had to rush into a marriage with his young and beautiful girlfriend, Helena, now Helena Smythe, when she had gotten pregnant. The product of that pregnancy was Sebastian, the very gay disappointment of the family.

  


Even just spending the weekend in a hotel in New York would be better than staying at home; the idea of seeing Kurt had just been something of a cherry on top. He hadn’t hesitated to accept the offer when his mother made it. 

  


“You’re not going to get yourself arrested, are you? Your father can’t bail you out here,” Helena warned, and Sebastian sighed.

  


“I appreciate your faith in me, Mom,” he replied, curling his fingers around the handle of his suitcase, pulling it off of the conveyor belt. “No, I’m not going to get arrested. This friend is kind of a prude, he wouldn’t let me do anything illegal, anyway.” Which was halfway true; if they were going to do something illegal, Kurt would at least make sure that they were subtle about it. 

  


“Just be careful, Sebastian,” Helena said firmly as they stepped out of the airport. She raised one gloved hand to hail a taxi, and then glanced at Sebastian, tilting her head. “Are you coming to the hotel with me, or just going straight to your friend’s?”

  


“Can I?”

  


She reached out to take his suitcase, loading it and her own into the trunk of the taxi cab. “Go on. Be safe.”

  


Sebastian smiled faintly, waving her off as she got into the taxi and it disappeared down the New York street. His mom was pretty great, probably the only reason he had any amount of common decency, whether or not it was very large. She had stopped him from becoming the true asshole his father could have turned him into. And she trusted him, more than she probably should have. He could cause a lot of trouble in a place like New York, but he went straight to the address Sam had given him. He almost got lost on the way there, as was just the New York style, but he corrected himself before getting on the wrong subway, and by eight pm, he was standing outside Kurt’s apartment. What a shady neighborhood.

  


Raising his hand, he knocked three times. It was quiet for a moment before he heard the footsteps behind the door. It was not Kurt that opened the door, but Santana, who was probably the last person Sebastian was expecting to see. 

  


“What the hell are you doing here, twink?”

  


“Santana. I was not expecting to see you. Where… Is Kurt here?” He attempted to look past her, into the apartment, but she crossed her arms over her chest and held herself  firm, an eyebrow raised.

  


“Why exactly are you here to see Kurt?”

  


This was not a conversation Sebastian wanted to have with Santana, of all people. Luckily, he didn’t have to, because Kurt appeared over Santana’s shoulder, and his expression  was stunned. “Sebastian? What are you doing here?”

  


“Hey, Kurt. Something about New York has just made you look even more overwhelmingly gay,” Sebastian greeted as he stepped into the apartment, past Santana, who was looking between them like she was searching for the answers to all the mysteries of life. 

  


“And you look like a Gossip Girl reject, but here we are,” Kurt responded with a faux prim and angelic smile. There was no heat in either insult, and Sebastian grinned, allowing Kurt to pull him into a hug. “It’s good to see you, Bas. Though that doesn’t answer my question. Why are you here?”

  


“I was going to be in New York with my mother anyway. Figured I’d stop by, see what’s up.” He stepped back from the hug, tucking his hands into his pockets.

  


“Okay, I kept quiet at the party back in Lima, but this is out of hand,” Rachel snapped as she marched into the room like a miniature hurricane. “I thought that you were just sad and heartbroken and that’s why you spent all that time with Sebastian, but if you keep hanging out with him like this, you’re going to ruin any chance of getting Blaine back! And I can’t believe you’ve sunk so low as to get over Blaine by getting under Sebastian Smythe, Kurt, I thought you were better than this.”

  


“Is she serious right now?” Sebastian muttered, casting a glance at Santana, who looked like she was seriously considering just bitch-slapping Rachel and being done with it. 

  


“I don’t want Blaine back, Rachel, I cannot count how many times I’ve told you that, and frankly, even if I was sleeping with Sebastian, which I’m not, that would be absolutely none of your business.”

  


Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and opened her mouth to reply, prompting Sebastian to step forward. “Right, look, Rachel, let me tell you something about what your future holds. You’re destined to be some big Broadway legend, I’m sure of it. But your personal life? Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to end up married to some closeted gay politician, who’s going to cause some big scandal when he gets caught with some pretty twink intern, and you’re going to have to take Xanax to make it through every day. And that’s totally fine, but I recommend you stop with the hag behavior now, because you’re going to need it when that day comes around.”

  


Rachel’s mouth had dropped open in offended shock, and Kurt had a hand clapped over his mouth to hold back his laughter. Santana hadn’t even bothered to try and fight a smirk, and Sebastian wondered for a moment when he and Santana had ended up on the same team. Probably when he’d ended up, somehow, on Kurt’s team, which seemed to have placed him firmly against Rachel and Blaine. 

  


“How dare you come into my home and speak to me like that?” Rachel demanded, jaw tight. Her posture was angry, but given that she was about the same height as a sixth grader, Sebastian couldn’t find it in himself to even pretend he was intimidated. 

  


“This isn’t just your home, and it’s time someone did talk to you like that.” Sebastian answered. “You may think that your vocal talent is enough to get you through everything, but no one in any industry you want a job in is going to accept the way you talk to people like you’re better than everyone without doing a damn thing to back it up. In New York, you are a nobody until you become somebody, so accept your place in this world, because you are not better than anyone. You’re just a whiny, bratty, stuck up, attention seeking child. And that is why no one likes you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take Kurt, and leave you here to Santana’s devices. Santana?” He stepped back and motioned her forward, curling a hand around Kurt’s bicep to pull him out the door. 

  


“You know I’m going to have to deal with that when I get back, right?” Kurt murmured as they left, exiting out onto the street. “And she is going to hate me for not defending her to you.” 

  


“Maybe you’ll get lucky and Santana will murder her. I only said what you’ve wanted to for years. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  


“No,” Kurt replied, hands tucked into the pocket of his vest, “you are not wrong. And she already hated you, so it’s better that you said it all. I just wish she would stop pushing me to get back together with Blaine. Every time he texts me, she reminds me that the plan was always to be in New York with her favorite gays. She’s like a broken fucking record about it.”

  


“He’s still texting you?” Sebastian asked, walking down the street. He’d seen a coffee shop on his way to Kurt’s place, and that was where he was heading. The information that Blaine had not backed off did not come as a surprise, he had expected as much, but it seemed that he was going to have to have a conversation with Santana. 

  


“Of course he is, did you think he’d give up that easily? Blaine doesn’t like to lose, remember? That’s why he took the role of Tony even when he told me he wasn’t going to audition for it.”

  


Sebastian pulled the coffee shop door open and motioned for Kurt to step inside, following him in after. “So Blaine openly flirted with other guys, did not discourage anyone from flirting with him, took a part that he told you he wasn’t going to take, accused you of cheating on him, stole all the solos that should have gone to you, and convinced you somehow that you weren't sexy, but you still dated him for as long as you did? Were you that desperate for a boyfriend?

  


Kurt frowned, brow furrowing. “He had his moments when he was really sweet and passionate and romantic--”

  


“Said every victim about their abuser.”

  


“Blaine did not abuse me!” Kurt protested loudly, and then immediately lowered his voice, fixing Sebastian with a cold glare. “Blaine had problems, but he wasn’t abusive.”

  


“Look at the things that I just listed and tell me that that wasn’t abuse. Sure, he may never have raised a hand to you, but he manipulated and gaslit you, and that constitutes abuse. You’re not stupid, Kurt, and I know that because you are the only person I’ve met who keeps up with me, but you are hopelessly naïve if you think that that wasn’t abuse.” 

  


Kurt didn’t answer until after they had placed their coffee order, and were moving to a table to sit down. “Did you come to New York just to insult me?” he asked coolly, cradling his coffee cup in his hands like a defense mechanism. Sebastian sighed. 

  


“No, Kurt. Look-- Maybe I’m wrong, I didn’t see much of your relationship, but everything I’ve heard about it and everything I saw when you two were together doesn’t exactly give me the vibe that Blaine was some perfect prince. And you defend him, which brings the question: do you still have feelings for him?”

  


Kurt gaped, stuttering over words for a moment, and Sebastian fixed him with a  _ look _ . “Blaine was my first love,” he finally said.

  


“I’m sorry,” Sebastian allowed, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

  


“Shut your smarmy meerkat mouth and let me talk. He was my first love, and I know that the relationship was problematic. We had to schedule makeout session, I am fully aware that that wasn’t healthy or good, but--”

  


“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” Sebastian interrupted. “Scheduled makeout sessions? Wow, that’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.” His voice was deadpan. “You already told me that your sex life was boring, but wow.”

  


“Shut up, Sebastian,” Kurt repeated. His ears had gone red, and if his hand tightened anymore on his coffee cup, he was going to break it. “I’m trying to explain that it’s just harder to let go of that history than I thought it would be. Not that you would understand, because you have the emotional capability of a goldfish.”

  


“Low blow, Hummel.”

  


“Don’t be a dick, Smythe.”

  


“I’m afraid that that’s physically impossible. All I am saying to you is that, if you keep letting that history get to you, you are going to fall right back to those charms, into that cycle of… unhealthy habits." He had to refrain from using the word abuse, given Kurt's reaction to it. Though he was still positive that, at least on an emotional leve, that was what it had been. "I don’t want to see that. Blaine held you back.” Sebastian shrugged, sipping from his coffee. 

  


Kurt reached across the table and covered Sebastian’s hand with his own. “Thank you. I don’t know what prompted you to start caring so much, but I do appreciate it.”

  


“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?”

  


Kurt smiled. His eyes were bright, and for a second, Sebastian couldn’t place the color. Blue, grey, green, all mixed together to form something unique and pretty. And Kurt really was just pretty. He couldn’t deny that anymore. His life was becoming much more complicated now that he had started to be nice. Why couldn’t he just keep being an asshole without a fucking care who got hurt?

  


“Never in a million years did I think you would be calling me a friend.”

  


“Hell was doomed to freeze over sometime. Climate change or something,” Sebastian replied, raising a shoulder in a shrug, and Kurt laughed. 

  


And when Kurt laughed like that, and Sebastian was the reason for it? He started to understand why being nice wasn’t such a bad decision.


	9. Chapter 9

“I would absolutely love to spend today with you,” was Kurt’s greeting when he opened the door of his apartment the next morning to Sebastian’s knocking, “but I am super busy today and I have to work. I’m an intern at Vogue and I can’t just miss a day. Isabelle is counting on me, someone called in and she’s down an employee--.”

“That is super impressive, and I wouldn’t ask you to miss it because of me,” Sebastian interrupted before Kurt actually lost himself in the rant he was working up to. “I’m not being sarcastic, that’s actually really impressive. Go do your work things, I will meet you for lunch if you want, and in the meantime, I actually need to talk to Santana.” Santana raised an eyebrow in his direction and Sebastian met her gaze. 

Kurt glanced between them for a minute, looking conflicted, but then he nodded slowly, possibly deciding that it was better not to ask too many questions. “Be nice to each other. I’ll see you later.” And then he vanished out the door before Sebastian could reply, leaving him alone in the apartment with Santana. 

“What’s your game here, Fievel?” Santana demanded, leaning back on the couch and crossing her arms over her chest. She was eyeing him sharply, like she could see right through him, and Sebastian exhaled a sigh.

“I don’t have a game,” Sebastian replied, walking further into the apartment and sitting down in an empty chair. “And I’m going to show you something to prove that. If this was a game to me, I’d have already shown Kurt all of this, but honestly…” He pulled his phone from his pocket, pulling up his text messages and opening one thread before passing it over to Santana. “I saved all of this, because Blaine wasn’t as wholesome and innocent as he wanted Kurt to believe he was, and I knew I would get some use out of these messages sometime.”

Santana's brow furrowed as she took the phone, holding it as if it was going to bite her. She started to read, and Sebastian watched her expression go from confused to curious to outraged over the course of the text thread. “There are literally dozens of text messages-- and he’s saying in these that he masturbated to the thought of what you would do to him? And far more explicit, wow, I didn’t think the hobbit had it in him, given he exudes the sexuality of a toadstool.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Yeah, well, he wasn’t all the bashful innocence he wanted everyone to believe.” He wasn’t ashamed of the text messages he had sent, or of Santana reading them. He hadn’t been the one that had had a boyfriend during those exchanges. Everyone had already known Sebastian had been flirting with Blaine at that time, they just hadn’t known what Blaine had been saying in return. 

“Does Kurt know about this? You said you hadn’t shown him any of these messages?” Santana demanded, passing Sebastian’s phone back to him, and Sebastian frowned. He looked down at the screen, scanning over the words on it for a few seconds. He’d enjoyed it at the time, but now he wasn’t sure what to think of the conversation. 

“No. I haven’t shown him.” He pressed the lock button on his phone and the screen went black. He set it on the arm of the chair, and he glanced at Santana, who was staring at him. He couldn’t place the look on her face. It wasn’t quite disappointment, but maybe disappointment adjacent. Something along those lines, and it made him grit his teeth. It wasn’t her place to be disappointed in him.

“Why? Wasn’t getting with Blaine what you wanted? 

“It was just a game then. A chase. But he didn’t put up much of a challenge, he gave in far easier than I thought he would, given how in love he claimed to be with Kurt, and it got boring. And all of this, showing Kurt… what would it do? He’s already insecure about the break up and about Blaine in general, because Blaine has him convinced that he was the one not good enough for Blaine, and this would just make that worse.”

Santana frowned. “So why did you show me?” 

“Because Blaine hasn’t stopped. He’s still convinced he’s going to get Kurt back.” He tapped the back of his phone absently, a frown still curled on his face. “I don’t know how long Kurt will be able to resist, if Blaine really decides to turn up the charm. This--” He holds up his phone-- “is evidence enough that Blaine was never really his knight in shining hair gel. Maybe you can stop him from falling for it again.”

Santana crossed her left leg over her right, curling her hands over her knee. The way she tilted her head gave the vague impression that she could see right through Sebastian, into his soul. He really didn’t like that, either. “Tell me something, twink. Why do you care? What’s your aim here?”

Sebastian exhaled through his nose, rolling his eyes. He hated this question, hated the implications of it. Jeff, Nick, Sam, Finn, they were all asking it, too. Hell, Kurt probably was, too, even if he hadn’t voiced it yet.. The answer couldn’t just be that he gave a shit what happened to Kurt, because that wasn’t realistic. Not for Sebastian. “He deserves better,” was all Sebastian said, with a shrug, like it didn’t matter. “That’s all.”

“Right.” Santana looked like she didn’t believe that. “Okay, I agree with you on that. Kurt deserves better than that slimy, oiled up midget who still shops in the children’s section. But if you hurt my boy, I will make sure you find out first hand what types of injuries your medical insurance covers.” Her voice remained calm, friendly, even, but the threat was serious. Something about her was terrifying.

“Noted.”

Sebastian was glad for the reprieve that came with heading to Vogue to meet Kurt for lunch. Spending any amount of time with Santana was emotionally draining, let alone with Rachel returning much too quickly. He’d dipped out pretty quick out of that and now stood in the waiting room of Vogue, hands pushed into his pockets as he waited for the secretary to notice him. 

“Who are you and why are you here?” the young man asked briskly, and Sebastian blinked. 

"Uh. Sebastian, I’m here for Kurt Hummel. We were supposed to be getting lunch, but I don’t know when he’s actually available.” 

Realization dawned in the man’s eyes behind his thick-rimmed hipster glasses, and he nodded quickly. “Ah. I was wondering how he got over Blaine so quickly, but now I see. He really can pick the good looking ones, can’t he?” 

Sebastian wasn’t sure whether to smirk or protest-- sure, he wasn’t going to disagree that he was good-looking, but he and Kurt weren’t dating. Not that he could really blame anyone for the assumption if they didn’t know; he had shown up to take Kurt to lunch. Pretty date-like, he supposed. He was spared the conflict that came with having to answer that assumption by the elevator door opening and Kurt stepping off of it. 

“Sebastian, hey. I’m honestly surprised that you and Santana didn’t kill each other,” was his greeting, though he was smiling faintly. He waved to the secretary behind the desk as he led Sebastian back towards the door. 

“It was pretty close, honestly,” Sebastian replied, following him out without question. Though he didn’t miss the knowing look from the secretary who was watching them go. Whatever, let him assume. Sebastian probably wasn’t going to see him again. “Actually, she’s not so bad when she’s not threatening my life for one reason or another. It was when Rachel showed up that I thought the knives were going to come out.”

“Imagine living with her,” Kurt responded and Sebastian grimaced, sympathetic. “There’s a cafe just down the block, I figured we could go there,” he added, already walking that way without waiting for an answer, so Sebastian supposed he had no choice but to follow along. As long as they had good coffee, he wouldn’t complain. Probably.

The cafe Kurt led them to was small and decorated in shades of pale blue and green, filled with the fake hipster type that Sebastian couldn’t stand. They were probably all political science majors, musicians, or aspiring writers, none of whom would see anything other than this cafe. Sebastian stopped in the doorway and raised an eyebrow. “This is where we’re getting lunch? These people look like they think they’re cool because they shop at the Gap and think a vacation to Disneyworld makes them super rich, but they’re only using daddy’s money until their music careers take off. Aren’t there like, decent cafes? This is New York.”

“Oh my god,” Kurt muttered, shoving Sebastian into the cafe with a roll of his eyes. “You’re so pretentious, it’s honestly sad. And you don’t know anything about these people, so stop judging.”

“The coffee smells disgusting, and there is not one person here that’s not wearing a beanie and thick-rimmed glasses,” was Sebastian’s response, scrunching his nose up as he stepped towards the counter. “I am well within my right to judge. Give it five minutes and someone will start preaching about the importance of veganism and how they’re saving the world with their reusable metal straw.”

“Pretentious,” Kurt repeated. “I’m a broke college kid, this is what we’re getting. Order something and sit down, and stop being a judgmental dick. Metal straws are actually a good idea, and you should use one.” 

“You’re starting to sound like them, Kurt.” He was not being given a choice, however, so he ordered a large coffee and a poppy seed muffin, because that seemed to be all this place offered that was appealing. Once they had their coffee and food, they found a seat in the corner of the cafe, a fair ways from the other customers. “How are you even a broke college kid, anyway?” Sebastian asked, setting his coffee down on the table. “Isn’t your dad a congressman? Who makes money?” 

Sitting down, Kurt sipped from his latte, swallowing and remaining silent for a moment before answering, “Yeah, he is. But he had a heart attack a couple of years ago, and he was diagnosed with cancer, so there’s a lot of medical bills, and I don’t want to make things any harder for him and Carole than I have to, so I pay for my own stuff. And being an intern doesn’t pay much.”

“I… am sorry. I didn’t know.” And for that, Sebastian really did feel like a bit of an asshole, but he really hadn’t known. Sometimes, it would probably be better if he just kept his mouth shut.

“You had no reason to know,” Kurt shrugged, though the look in his eyes made it clear how much he worried. “He said they caught it early enough that he’ll be alright, but all of the treatment is going to be expensive. I’ll be sticking to the cheap life for a while.” 

“Well, I’ll probably get to know that one in a while, once I start college next fall.”

“Your dad is a lawyer and you studied in France for a year,” Kurt argued. “You’re not going to know the cheap life any time soon, you’ve made it very clear that you definitely live the expensive life.”

“Yeah, that’s true enough, but my dad’s only going to pay for everything if I decide I’m going to Harvard to be a lawyer and stay in the closet while I do it,” Sebastian replied. “And I’m not interested in either half of that.” He sipped from his coffee and grimaced. It was every bit as bad as he had expected it to be. “So I guess I better get used to the shitty coffee and cheap food early, because law isn’t my thing, and I’m very proudly gay.”

Kurt frowned sympathetically, though he didn’t offer an apology for Sebastian’s homophobic father. Sebastian was glad for that, he didn’t want it. He had gotten used to that a long time ago. “Where are you interested in going, then? If not Harvard to be a lawyer?”

“I applied for NYU, Cornell, and Boston University. Some nice journalism programs, which is what I’m really interested in. Not really a performer like you or Rachel, but Jeff keeps telling me to apply for NYADA, too.”

Kurt’s eyes were unreadable, and Sebastian wondered if he was being judged for his choices. “It wouldn’t hurt to try,” he said after a second. “I honestly can’t believe you don’t think you’re a performer, I’ve seen you perform. Glad You Came was one of the best Warbler performances I’ve ever seen, and I was a Warbler. You would fit in at NYADA, and it would be nice to see someone there that isn’t Rachel.”

“Thanks, but performing for a glee club isn’t the same as a performing arts school. And going to college together… At that rate, we may as well get an apartment together and live the broke college life as roommates,” Sebastian scoffed, rolling his eyes. Meant to be a joke, sure, but it didn’t actually sound all that bad. It was kind of an appealing idea. “Wait, that wouldn’t be so bad. You’d get away from Rachel, we’d save on money, and I actually don’t hate you, which is more than I can say for most other people.”

Kurt snorted, an undignified sound. “Sure,” he replied. “We’ll talk about that more if you’re actually serious, once you figure out what college you’re going to. God forbid you have to get used to shitty coffee and people who think they’re cool because they shop at the Gap,” he added, raising an eyebrow. Sebastian was aware that he was brushing the subject aside, probably choosing to ignore it all together. The assumption that Sebastian wasn't serious-- well, it wasn't really like Sebastian could blame him for that. But it really wouldn't be a bad idea.

“I’ll get over the pretentious hipsters. And I can make better coffee than whatever this is.” He tilted his cup, pulling the lid off and looking at the liquid inside, disgusted. “This is basically water. When we have an apartment, I’ll make coffee every morning to prove to you how actually bad this is.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Kurt muttered, deadpan. 

It was only later Sebastian realized that he’d said ‘when’, and not ‘if’. That information was stored away, compartmentalized into a part of his brain that he didn’t want to assess. It really didn’t mean that much, anyway. He really, really hoped. 


	10. Chapter 10

Sebastian sat on a bench at the airport, watching his mom type on her laptop. Her meetings had gone well, she had told him, and apparently they’d be coming back to New York every couple weeks as they worked to further expand the company. He wasn’t going to complain about spending more time in New York, but for now, they were waiting for their flight back to Ohio, set to take off in an hour. There was a chance they’d have stayed longer, but his mom was firmly against his missing school-- like one day would have killed him. He had a 4.0 GPA, he could miss a couple classes. Whatever, he knew better than to argue. 

“Sebastian.”

Sebastian paused the song playing on his phone and pulled the single headphone he had in, out of his ear, looking up. “Kurt, hey. What are you doing here?” He really hadn’t expected to see Kurt at the airport, considering he wasn’t the one flying back to Ohio. He was confused, but not upset. 

“Hey, well, you didn’t really say goodbye, and your flight doesn’t leave for like an hour or something, I looked it up, so I figured we could get some shitty airport food before you leave. If you want.” Kurt shrugged, hands pushed into the pockets of the vest he was wearing. For some reason, he almost looked nervous, like he thought Sebastian was going to say no. Or like he was maybe asking for something more than what he was saying, but that was probably reading a little too far into the words. He shook that thought away and focused on the invitation.

“Uh, yeah,” Sebastian agreed instantly, tucking his phone away into his pocket. “ Hey, Mom, I’m gonna go get food with Kurt before our flight leaves.”

Helena Smythe looked up, eyes appraising Kurt for a moment before she raised an eyebrow at her son. “Kurt? Is this the person you spent all weekend with?” she asked, giving Sebastian a very firm and particular kind of  _ look _ , the kind of look that Sebastian hated. Like this question was meant to be another question. A question about feelings or something. 

“I am so not having this conversation with you right now,” Sebastian answered immediately. “This is Kurt, and he’s a friend, and that is all the information I am comfortable giving you at this moment. Kurt, this is my mom. Introductions over, let’s go before she asks more questions.” He grabbed Kurt’s wrist and pulled him away.

Kurt called, “It was nice to meet you,” over his shoulder as he allowed Sebastian to pull him along. “You don’t want me meeting your mom?” He sounded amused, not upset or angry, and Sebastian let go of his wrist, rolling his eyes. 

“No, I don’t want to have a conversation with my mom about my intentions with you and how we met and our entire history written out on paper,” he replied, slowing down as they walked, weaving their way through the people trying to find their terminals. They were headed in the general direction of the Shake Shack, which Sebastian would normally protest. This time, he kept his mouth shut. A burger and shake weren’t going to kill him, and he was still stunned Kurt had shown up just to say goodbye. 

“Your mom doesn’t know you used to be the cheesy villain in a bad high school teen drama?” Kurt asked with mock sympathy, joining the line at the Shake Shack, and Sebastian scoffed with an equally fake offense. 

“Excuse me, I was the  _ best _ villain.”

Kurt laughed. “You get points for the rock salt slushie being a creative weapon and having some of the most creative insults.” 

“Well, that slushie wasn’t meant to be as dangerous as it ended up being,” Sebastian responded with a shrug. He felt some guilt about it still, though Blaine had healed just fine. Even if he didn’t like Blaine, Blaine hadn’t deserved that. “It was meant to hit you, but not actually hurt you. Just--”

“Ruin my clothes, I know,” Kurt shrugged. He didn’t seem all too upset. “It actually wouldn’t have done any real damage if Blaine hadn’t decided I needed saving. The explanation is appreciated and accepted, but I never thought you were actually trying to seriously injure anyone, don’t worry.” 

Sebastian nodded. He hadn’t realized that he had been worried that Kurt thought that until Kurt confirmed that he didn’t. “Well, I’m glad you know.” They were at the counter now, and Sebastian waved a hand dismissively. “Put your wallet away,” he muttered when Kurt pulled it out of his pocket. “Just order what you want, I got it.”

Kurt stared at him for a second, like he wanted to protest, and then he sighed and slid his wallet back into his pocket. Sebastian smirked. He’d expected something of a fight, but Kurt just placed his order, and Sebastian followed it with his own, paying for them both. He had the money, it really didn’t bother him. 

“You didn’t have to pay for my food,” Kurt told him as they stepped off to the side to wait. “I do have money.”

“You just told me yesterday that you don’t get paid because you’re an intern. You already paid for a taxi just to come say goodbye to me before I fly back to Ohio, which you definitely didn’t have to do. I can pay for your food. To thank you for even coming to the airport, I mean. I appreciate it,” he said, genuine. A rare way for him to be, but if anyone deserved a little bit of genuine, it was Kurt. 

“I don’t want you thinking I don’t care that you’re leaving. Because I do. I had fun with you this weekend, the least I could do was come to say goodbye.” 

Sebastian wasn’t sure how to unpack that, so he was thankful for the interruption of their order being ready, stepping forward to grab it. They made their way to a bench to sit down, and Sebastian unwrapped his burger, quiet for a moment. “You know, my mom’s business is expanding to New York, so I will be spending more time here, even before I move here for college in the fall. You’ll actually probably get sick of me.”

“I doubt that,” Kurt remarked, which was even more to unpack that Sebastian wasn’t sure about. There were many ways that he could take all of these statements, and he wasn’t sure which way Kurt meant them. Very few people were capable of keeping Sebastian on his toes, but Kurt was definitely one of them. He couldn’t read Kurt the way he could read other people, and he liked that.

“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?” Sebastian shrugged, lips tilting into his signature smirk. “If you don’t get sick of me before I graduate, maybe you’ll really consider being my roommate when I do.”

Kurt chewed on his food for a moment in silence. “You’re actually serious about that,” he mumbled, pulling a tomato off of his burger and eating it separately. “I thought you were just joking when you said it yesterday.”

“Hey, we’re friends, and it would make things easier for us both. It’s also safer than looking for a different roommate here when I move. I could end up with a serial killer as a roommate, and then you would see my murder on TV and you’d feel really bad that you turned me down.” 

Kurt laughed, covering his mouth with one hand. His eyes were bright with amusement and playfulness, an expression that suited him very well. “You have no actual proof that I’m not the serial killer roommate, though.” 

Sebastian blinked. “Okay, one, I feel like I’ve just been threatened. And two, if Rachel is still alive, you’re kind of the least skilled or dangerous serial killer that has ever existed, and I’m not that worried.”

Kurt laughed again, shaking his head, and Sebastian grinned. “Fair point.” He wiped his hands off on a napkin and then nodded slowly. “Okay. If you’re serious, yeah, when you graduate, I will look for an apartment with you. You’re right, living with Rachel and Santana is driving me insane, and I can’t keep playing mediator between them, especially when they’re both being terrible.”

For some reason that Sebastian couldn’t place, he felt like that was a victory won, and his chest felt lighter. His mind was moving fast, thinking about it, about sharing an apartment with Kurt. It was almost guaranteed that they were going to fight, pick at each other, drive each other nuts. But he was positive that they would also get along pretty well. They had become pretty good friends in a short amount of time.

“Alright,” he replied, “alright, cool. That helps, actually. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do without my dad’s money. Mom will help with the down payment on the place when we find it, she already told me, but having a roommate I don’t hate will make it all easier.”

They finished their food in relative quiet, and Sebastian stood to throw the trash away. Kurt stood, too, and they started heading back towards the terminal where Sebastian’s plane would be taking off. They still had some time, almost half an hour, but Sebastian knew from experience that you always wanted to be at the gate early. 

“If you had told me last year that at this point in my life, I would be agreeing to get an apartment with you, I would have died laughing,” Kurt said. “I mean, I hated you so much last year and I really thought that Blaine and I would be getting ready for him to move to New York when he graduated. Now, I…”

Sebastian interrupted quietly, “Things change, you know. This point last year, I didn’t give a shit about anyone. Especially not you. I never hated you, but you pissed me off, and I was so sure I was better than you in every way. Sorry for that, by the way.”

“We were equally to blame. We were terrible to each other, for reasons that only make sense to stupid high school boys.”

“It changed. We changed. It’s part of growing up, right?”

Sebastian stopped walking. He could see his mom sitting on the bench where they had left her, carefully putting her laptop away. They remained just out of earshot of her, but if she looked up, she could probably see them. 

“You’re really not that bad of a guy, Sebastian,” Kurt told him, looking up at him with exceedingly bright blue eyes, glimmering under the airport lights.

“Not anymore,” Sebastian shrugged. “Becoming someone you don’t hate is a pretty big achievement, actually.” He smirked, teasing, but the words weren’t as much of a joke as he had intended them to be. The more he and Kurt talked, the more unwilling honestly came out, and Sebastian wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He had a mask, and Kurt was the one peeling it off, little by little. “Kurt Hummel likes me, I feel like your glee club would encourage me to sing a song about that.”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up. You’re so full of it,” Kurt muttered, rolling his eyes. Sebastian wasn’t sure if he was blushing or it was just the lighting. “I suppose I should go ahead and let you get back to your mom, make sure you’re not late. And I should really get home myself before Santana and Rachel murder each other,” he said, motioning over his shoulder with one hand. “Have a safe flight home, Sebastian, text me once your plane lands so I know you didn’t die or something.”

He turned to leave, and, without much thought about the consequences, Sebastian made a choice. “Hey, Kurt,” he started, and Kurt turned back to him. Before he could talk himself out of it, or remind himself why this was a bad idea, what the consequences of it could be, he leaned forward. 

And then they were kissing. Kurt’s lips were very soft, and he exhaled a soft little gasp against Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian wasn’t deterred, pressing a little closer. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he had felt so many things all at once, if ever. He had thought once that the whole fireworks thing was really cliche, the kind of stupid shit only read in romance novels, but he couldn’t describe it any other way. 

He felt warm all over, almost dizzy, and he already wanted more of this, wanted to do this again. Sex wasn’t at the forefront of his mind, and it had been a while since he had kissed anyone without the intention of getting them into bed. But it wasn’t his intention now; he was kissing Kurt just to kiss him, just with the desire to pull him closer. The desire for… everything, all of it, all of the things he hadn’t let himself want.

The realization left Sebastian shocked and stunned, and he pulled back from the kiss abruptly. Kurt’s lips were parted slightly, his face flushed, but he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t immediately slap Sebastian or push him away. That was probably the closest thing to success that he could have hoped for. 

“Sebastian, what--”

Sebastian shook his head, cutting off the question that Kurt was starting to ask. He was already starting to back away, back towards his mother, to the flight, to Ohio. He wasn’t running away, that wasn’t it, but… Well, maybe it was something pretty close. He had a lot of things that he had to process. “Goodbye, Kurt,” he whispered. And then he was gone, back on a flight to Ohio, where the consequences of his actions were less likely to catch up with him.


	11. Chapter 11

“What the actual fuck, Sebastian. You kissed him?”

Sebastian’s pencil stopped in the middle of writing a word in his notebook. He hadn’t even gotten into the actual note taking yet; he was halfway through titling the page ‘United States Branches of Government’, barely finished writing the 'B', when the voice interrupted him. Internally, he was somewhat grateful for it. He wouldn’t be taking a government class at all if it wasn’t a required credit to graduate. But the voice, and the words that voice was saying, made the government class seem like the better option. 

“Seriously, how do you people keep getting into my school? There is a security team out there, this is a  _ private _ school and it sure as hell hasn’t been very private recently,” Sebastian replied, instead of answering Sam’s question. The security thing was a safer option, and, in Sebastian’s mind, more pressing.

He hadn’t even talked to his mother about this, though she had tried, because she had seen him kiss Kurt before their plane took off. He’d shut the conversation down before it had the chance to take off. He had sent Kurt a text that his flight had landed safely, and he was driving back to Dalton Academy. He had texted Kurt again that he had gotten back to Dalton safely and was getting ready for bed. He had texted Kurt a final goodnight message. All three had gone unanswered, and the only possible reason was the very kiss Sam was demanding information about. 

“We let him in.” Nick and Jeff were entering the study room just behind Sam, to Sebastian’s immense chagrin, and Jeff continued like it wasn’t clear Sebastian did not want to have this conversation, “And that’s not important. You  _ kissed _ him?”

“Why is this any of your business? And how do you even know that that happened?” Sebastian demanded, slamming his government book shut. Studying was clearly not going to happen today; he could already feel the impending headache blossoming behind his temples. “And don’t you three have like, classes, or am I the only one that actually studies? Because if I am, that explains why I’m the only one with a 4.0 GPA. You guys should really try it sometime instead of sticking your nose in my business.”

“Kurt called me,” Sam answered, effectively ignoring everything else, and Sebastian raised his hands to rub at his temples. “And he told me that you kissed him literal minutes before getting on a plane and flying back to Ohio. That’s seriously not cool, Sebastian, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I was  _ thinking _ that I could kiss someone without it becoming the new big scandal. How naïve of me,” Sebastian muttered, rolling his eyes. Seriously, it was just a kiss, it wasn’t like he had gotten down on one knee and fucking proposed or something. Yeah, it was clear Kurt wasn’t too happy about it, given the three texts left on read on Sebastian’s phone, but how had that become anybody else’s issue? “It’s just a kiss, Evans.”

“What is your angle?” Nick asked, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“I don’t know, I was under the impression most people over the age of six knew what a kiss meant, Nick. If you’re confused about the context and need a teacher to explain it to you, I would suggest asking Jeff. I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to show you.” 

Nick gaped, and Jeff scoffed. “When I kiss Nick, that tends to have a different meaning than when you kiss guys. If that’s your game with Kurt, that’s pretty shitty considering you've been telling everyone you don’t want to sleep with him and I thought you were actually friends with him now.”

Sebastian rubbed his hands over his face. “I am starting to see why Blaine chose McKinley over being here with you two. Though clearly, there isn't much better.” He fixed Sam with a glare, and Sam stared back, unbothered. Shoving his book into his bag, Sebastian stood from the table. “I’m not trying to sleep with him. That wasn’t even on my mind when I kissed him.”

This seemed to give all three of them pause, like they had never even stopped to consider that maybe Sebastian had other motives. After everything, they still all had the same kind of thoughts about him, as if it was entirely impossible that he could have changed. Anger burned in the pit of his stomach, and he grit his teeth, elbowing his way between Nick and Sam to exit the room. 

“Sebastian, wait,” Jeff began.

For some reason, that was what caused the tension burning inside of him to explode, like a lit match dropped into a gas can. He wheeled around, causing Nick and Jeff to take a step back. Sam was the only one who stayed standing where he was, like Sebastian’s anger didn’t bother him. 

“I like him, okay? Is that so fucking hard to believe? I kissed him because I like him, because he’s smart and funny and witty and clever, because he makes me laugh, because I like it when I can make him laugh. I kissed him because, for the first time since my last real relationship went to fucking shit, I think I could be happy dating someone again. I kissed him for all the reasons anybody kisses someone they like. And apparently, he doesn’t feel the same because he’s not answering my messages, and it’s fine, but on top of that, I don’t need the three of you acting like you fucking know me or my intentions.”

Sebastian was breathing hard, his fingers gripping so hard onto the strap of his bag that his knuckles were turning white. Nick and Jeff looked stunned but Sam was just watching him with curious eyes, a frown turning down his lips. Carefully, Sam reached out and took the bag from Sebastian’s hand, and Sebastian hissed as blood flow returned to the tips of his fingers. He flexed them on instinct, exhaling sharply.

“Okay, okay, let’s just take this back a couple steps,” Sam encouraged gently, using a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder to guide him to a chair. 

“Are you my therapist now?” Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m not positive you don’t need one. Have you explained to Kurt that you might be interested in dating him?”

Sebastian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. So they were really going to have this conversation, whether he wanted to have it or not. He was certainly glad that Kurt had friends that cared enough to protect him from guys like Sebastian, but fuck if it wasn’t annoying. They were a persistent bunch, too, and Sebastian was going to need a strong drink after this. 

“I hadn’t even admitted to myself until about thirty seconds ago that I might be interested in dating him, because the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. I don’t date. I’ve had like, one serious boyfriend, and that went to shit.” Sebastian held up a hand when Nick opened his mouth to ask. “I’m not talking about it. Look, Kurt fell in love with Blaine, who is basically Prince fucking Charming, and I’m not that. I have never in my life wanted to be that, and I’m not going to suddenly change into it, whether I like Kurt or not because I don’t want to be that. I’m not his type.”

“Well, Kurt was interested in me once,” Sam cut in, “and Finn, so let’s just assume that he doesn’t really have a type as long as they can sing. And maybe like, sports dudes, but you play lacrosse, so that totally counts.” He shrugged, pulling a chair away from the table and dropping down into it, facing Sebastian. 

“He was interested in his brother?” Sebastian asked thinly. That headache was only getting worse.

“Step brother. It’s a whole story. Not the point. The point is, it doesn’t matter if Blaine is Prince Charming and you’re the fucking… Ursula or whatever.”

“Prince Charming was Cinderella, not Little Mermaid,” Jeff piped up softly, and Sebastian rubbed his temples again. Tequila. Vodka. Maybe both. Tylenol wasn’t going to touch this one.

“Not the point,” Sam repeated. “My point  _ is _ , your supposed Prince Charming is the one who cheated on him and broke his heart, and Kurt isn’t the princess who needs some prince to come in and save him, anyway. Kurt is a wildfire, and he’s tough and fierce, and not a damsel in distress. He doesn’t need any of that, so why would he need you to change yourself to become something that he never needed in the first place? Maybe he thought he needed a hero back when he met Blaine and that’s why he fell for it, but he’s been his own hero for a long fucking time, and he doesn’t need that now. He didn’t answer your texts, and that sucks, dude, but it’s because he’s not sure what it means.”

“How do you know that?” Sebastian snapped, because angry and snarky was his default defense mechanism, even if what Sam was telling him made sense. Kurt didn’t need protecting. He didn’t need  _ Blaine _ . He didn’t need hero complexes and protectors. He didn’t need anyone, but the best choice would be someone who was his equal, someone who could keep him on his toes, keep up with his wit and charm and passion. Something inside Sebastian fluttered, and he refused to acknowledge what it was or why it was happening. 

“Kurt’s one of my best friends, dude. We talked about this when he called me last night because he didn’t know what to think. And I came here ready to kick your ass thinking you were just trying to fuck him and dump him, but you’re saying that’s not what you want, and he seems like he’s happier with you, and you’re, you know… happy with him. You’re my friend, too. I’m not letting you fuck that up.”

Sam was something else entirely. Eager and passionate and so earnest that it almost took Sebastian off guard, it was like he genuinely believed what he was saying. That he and Sebastian were really and truly friends, even if they’d barely talked. Even if he had just as much reason to hate Sebastian as Kurt did. Something had shifted in the few conversations they had had, and now Sam was looking at Sebastian with impossibly bright eyes, urging Sebastian silently to accept his help, and calling him a friend.

“Since when are we friends?”

“Come on, dude, aren’t we like, co-captains of the team that will fuck up Blaine for hurting Kurt? I thought we agreed to that. Us and Santana, right? I was going to make t-shirts.” He was smiling widely.

Sebastian laughed, the sound startled. “Fucking hell, no. I don’t want that on a t-shirt. Save the shirts. We’re friends.”

“I kinda wanted the t-shirt,” Nick mumbled. Sebastian looked up. He had almost forgotten they had two onlookers. “Because Jeff and I are also on that team. And, Sebastian, if you really do like him, and you want to date him… what’s the harm in telling him? Maybe he says no, but at least you’d know. And I think even attempting it would be a good step forward for you.” 

“When did you two suddenly get a vested interest in my love life?” Sebastian demanded, reaching out to take his bag back from Sam. 

“When you got a love life” Jeff replied, beaming.

Sebastian stood up from the chair, rolling his eyes, and Sam stood, too. His eyes had hardened, a little less friendly and warm than they had been a second before. “I’m encouraging you, Sebastian. Go for it. Tell him you’re interested in a whole relationship thing. Talk it out, whatever. It could work for you guys.”

Sebastian’s stomach twisted. He hadn’t done relationships in a long time. He didn’t know if he was even ready to try one again. But if he was going to try again, maybe Kurt was the perfect person to try with. They matched each other on a lot of levels, and he hadn’t been lying about actually really liking Kurt. It was a lot to process. He hadn’t been into anyone for anything other than sex in long enough that it felt alien and foreign. It was almost scary, and that just made all of it so much worse. What was there to be scared of?

“I feel like there’s a but,” Sebastian said.

“There is. I’m encouraging you,  _ but _ . If you hurt Kurt, if you use him for sex, if you do anything shitty and stupid like that, I’m going to make sure you pay for it. He’s my friend, and I like you just fine, but I’ve spent too long giving my loyalty to people who don’t deserve it, and I’m not making that mistake again.”

Sebastian met Sam’s eyes. There was no hesitation. No hint of a bluff. No nothing. He was entirely serious, and that showed. In fact, it was enough that it almost sent a chill down his back, a little thrill of fear. Sam could probably kick his ass. This was a threat to take seriously, because Sam wouldn’t hesitate if he thought Sebastian deserved it. He hadn’t hesitated against Karofsky.

He wasn’t going to make any promises. He didn’t think that he could. In fact, it was almost inevitable that Sebastian was going to hurt Kurt, at least in some type of way. He didn’t even know if he could go through with attempting to tell Kurt that he had… genuine feelings for him. It was enough to make him want to run away. He was a one night stand kind of guy for a reason. 

So no, he couldn’t make any promises, but he was glad that Kurt had someone like Sam looking out for him. Sebastian stuck out a hand and nodded slightly. “Yeah, I’ll hold you to that, blondie.”

Sam grinned and took Sebastian’s hand, shaking it once. “Good. Now call Kurt. Seems like you two have a lot to talk about.”


	12. Chapter 12

The call rang four times, which was already an achievement, given that the last two had been almost instantly declined. Still, Sebastian didn’t think that Kurt was going to accept the request to Skype, given that he still hadn’t bothered to answer the text messages Sebatian had sent him two nights ago. He knew that Kurt wasn’t busy, he had gotten that information from Santana, which was why he was trying to talk to him now. But if he really didn’t want to talk, Sebastian couldn’t make him.

  


“For the record,” was Kurt’s greeting when he finally accepted the call, “I’m only accepting this call because Santana is forcing me to. She threatened to shank me with a hairclip without elaborating on how she intends to do that.”

  


“You should hope you don’t find out. Oh, and you’re welcome,” came Santana’s voice from another room on Kurt’s side of the call, and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Kurt looked ready to kill someone, murder flashing across his eyes.

  


“Right. Thanks,” Sebastian replied, shifting his laptop and folding his legs in front of him on his bed. “I’m a little offended that you have to be forced to answer me. That’s real and true friendship.”

  


“Yes, and kissing me right before you went back to Ohio and didn’t give me any time to ask you what the fuck or why the fuck, or to even really say anything at all in response to it, that’s also real and true friendship,” Kurt replied, his voice monotone. “Are you wearing glasses?”

  


Sebastian blinked, reaching up to straighten his glasses on his nose. “Yeah, my contacts were bothering me, so, glasses.” He wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything. “If you’d answered my texts when I got back, we could have actually talked about that, but you ignored me. That’s friendship, too, right? You'll really have to tell me, because you have more experience with friendship than me, but I'm pretty sure friends talk about things instead of ignoring each other.”

  


Kurt’s eyes were hard. Even through the computer screen, Sebastian could tell that his eyes were colder than ice. He didn't want Kurt to be angry at him, but he was starting to feel pretty angry, himself. “Are we friends?” Kurt asked with a frown, his eyes narrowed. “Because most friends don’t kiss at airports right before one of them leaves. That sounds like a pretty romantic thing, actually, like something a boyfriend would do, not a friend. But you don’t do romance and boyfriends and relationships, and I sure as hell don’t do one night stands, so I don’t know what you’re trying to do here.” 

  


Sebastian sighed, fumbling with the edge of his shirt. Just as quickly as it came, his anger had already evaporated. “Look. Can I talk to you and explain something to you about why I don’t do any of that, without you interrupting me with your snide commentary?” 

  


“I make absolutely no promises.”

  


“Of course you don’t.” He wasn’t exactly thrilled about this, but it almost made him smile. Sebastian leaned back against the headboard of his bed, shifting his laptop into his lap and tilting the screen back a little. “When I was younger, before I went to France, I was a freshman and I had a boyfriend. And it was good, you know, it was like… I was happy with it. I thought it was going to work out and be whatever stupid Disney fairytale thing. I used to believe in that shit, you know. And then I went to Paris for a year. It was less than a week before I found out he was cheating on me.”

  


Kurt exhaled sharply, and some of the ice had faded from his gaze. He looked a little stunned, and quite sympathetic. “Sebastian, that’s…” but he fell silent, when he caught the look on Sebastian’s face.

  


“Yeah, that wasn’t even the worst part. I confronted him about it. He told me that he had never intended to have an actual relationship with me, that I was just an experiment, and that if I had any self-respect, I would stay in the closet and stop ruining my own life and my father’s political career with my problems. Because to him, and to my father, being gay is exactly that-- a problem.” 

  


The words were cool and flat. He had been back in the United States for two years now, and he was more or less over the whole thing, but it did still hit him in a way that made him feel bitter. He hadn’t been in love with the guy, but for a while, it had hurt, because he had really thought he was in love with the guy. And Sebastian hadn’t handled that hurt in any way that was healthy.

  


“I’m sorry that that happened to you,” Kurt said genuinely.

  


“I won’t say that I handled it well. I started sleeping with guys. I started doing the no strings attached, no feelings thing.” Sebastian shrugged, staring at the wall of his room for a moment. He hadn’t talked to anyone about any of this; if he hadn’t felt that the explanation was necessary, he wouldn’t have talked about it with Kurt, either. “And that’s what I’ve been doing since then, and it was fun, and I didn’t care. Until about, ah, two months ago, when I started regularly talking to you.”

  


Kurt frowned, chewing on his lower lip in silence for a moment. It was a nervous gesture, but Sebastian didn’t push him for a response. It was a lot to process and a lot to take in all at once. “Okay,” Kurt finally murmured, tapping his fingers against the bottom of his laptop absently. “Okay. So what are you saying, Sebastian? What are you asking me, and what does this have to do with you kissing me?”

  


Sebastian pushed a hand through his hair, frustrated. And then, just so he didn’t have to answer so quickly, he pulled his glasses off and cleaned them on the edge of his shirt. Sliding them back on, he admitted quietly, “I kissed you because for the first time since that relationship, I feel like I could be… happy dating someone again.” 

  


“You… You want to date me? Sebastian, I’m honestly really confused.”

  


“Yeah, the whole coming to terms with this thing was confusing to me, too,” Sebastian replied. He was starting to feel anxious, his stomach twisting, at the lack of actual response to the admission of feelings. “I haven’t really felt anything for anyone. I haven’t wanted to. But the more we talk, the more I realize that I actually really like you. And if you don’t feel the same about me, if you don’t want a relationship with me, that’s fine,” he hastened to add, though he didn’t feel like it would be fine internally. His chest felt like it was tightening, ribcage squeezing down around his lungs. Fuck, he had forgotten how much he hated the feeling of rejection. “We will still be friends. I just thought-- and by that, I mean Sam thought-- that it would be better if I told you, and I can’t deny that he was probably right and you needed to know before we ended up moving in together.”

  


Kurt was quiet for what felt like a very long time. The collapsing and twisting feeling around Sebastian’s lungs got significantly worse, and for half a second, he considered just hanging up the call. His hand even twitched towards the trackpad of his laptop before he stopped himself from doing exactly that. He didn’t want to rush Kurt into an answer, but the silence was the most suffocating sound he’d ever heard.

  


When he finally answered, what he said was, “I think I could be happy dating you, too,” and the suffocating feeling stopped so suddenly that Sebastian felt a little high, the sudden rush to his head and his heart leaving him feeling a little dizzy. He had forgotten how intense feelings could be, given that he hadn’t let himself feel much in so long. “But how could we… You’re in Ohio, I’m in New York, and it seems like long distance relationships haven’t worked out so well for either of us in the past. And I don't think I could handle being cheated on again. Not that I'm assuming you would, but--”

  


“I graduate in three months,” Sebastian interrupted before Kurt could finish the sentence. He knew where that was going. His voice sounded a little strained to his own ears, and he hoped that didn’t translate through the computer screen. “I know I’m going to be coming back to New York a few more times before I graduate, so we’ll see each other. I haven’t done the whole getting drunk and hooking up thing in two months, and that was before I was even willing to admit I wanted a relationship with you, so I think I can resist temptation for a while longer.”

  


Kurt bit his lip, raising his hand to his mouth to chew on his thumbnail for a moment, like he was considering it. Like the offer alone made him nervous. Like maybe he didn’t believe it, and Sebastian couldn’t blame him. “And you’re serious?” he asked. “About… this, about wanting to try this?”

  


Sebastian responded quietly, “Yeah, I think I am. But I’m warning you, I have no clue how to be someone’s boyfriend. I’m probably going to be bad at it for a minute, but I’m a pretty fast learner.”

  


This prompted a laugh, and Sebastian smiled slightly in return. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out pretty quick,” Kurt mumbled in agreement, rolling his eyes fondly. “You have more experience with everything than I do, so I’m the one with a lot to learn. Bare with me while I learn about it.”

  


“With sex, maybe. With actual relationships, I feel like we’re on pretty even footing. And I’m not… expecting you to have sex with me.” The statement came out as almost urgent. He needed to make it clear that he wasn’t trying to push something just to get laid. There were easier ways to get laid than to push for an actual relationship, and Sebastian knew all the tricks for that. If this was about sex, he would have taken the feelings talk completely off the table and locked his own emotons away in a box, to never be addressed again.

  


“Well, good, because I don’t put out on the first date. Or even the second.” Kurt’s playful grin was clear, even through the choppy camera feed. Sebastian laughed. He already knew that, actually, given that Kurt had been with Blaine for a year before they had sex.

  


“You mean our goodbye meal yesterday wasn’t our first date?” he teased right back, feeling considerably lighter than he had minutes before. He hadn’t the slightest clue about being somebody’s boyfriend, but flirting back and forth came pretty naturally to him, and he and Kurt already had that part down. 

  


“Oh, no,” Kurt grinned. “Not at all. I’m pretty high maintenance.”

  


“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

  


Kurt smiled softly and said, “I have to go. It’s getting late and I need to get some sleep. Early morning tomorrow. I’ll text you between classes, okay?”

  


“Yeah,” Sebastian agreed. “Alright. Goodnight, Kurt.”

  


“Goodnight.”

  


The call ended and the screen faded out to black. Sebastian powered his laptop down and shut the screen, setting it on the table beside his bed. He was tired, too, but he felt at ease. He had been stressed, thinking about what this call was going to entail. Thinking that he was going to ruin one of the only real friendships he had because he’d decided he was going to go and have feelings. Now he felt calm. Nervous, which he would probably be for a while, because it would be just like him to fuck up a relationship he actually genuinely wanted. But Kurt was giving him a chance, and the least he could do was  _ try _ .

  


Opening his phone, Sebastain started a group text chat and typed out a message quickly, because he knew a group of people who would be pretty pissed if he failed to inform them how this conversation had gone.

**  
**

**To: Blondie, Jeff, Nick, Satan:** _ I don’t want to hear it from any of you, or I will not hesitate to make life miserable for all of you. _

**  
**

**From: Satan:** _ Cute that you think you could, meerkat. What are you talking about?  _

**  
**

**To: Blondie, Jeff, Nick, Satan:** _ I talked to Kurt. And I reiterate that, I don’t want to hear it from ANY of you.  _

**  
**

**From: Blondie:** _ he said yes???? _

**  
**

**From: Nick:** _ he wouldn’t be threatening us if Kurt said no he would be out getting drunk _

**  
**

**From: Satan:** _ Wanky. I feel that it’s inappropriate to ask who’s going to top, so I won’t ask that.  _

**  
**

**From: Jeff:** _ seb has a boyfriend!!! Our little boy is growing up. _

**  
**

**To: Blondie, Jeff, Nick, Satan:** _ I hate all of you so fucking much. _

  


Sebastian exited out of the group chat with the other four, taking a second to take in the fact that he actually had friends now. Real friends, not just the uniformity of the Warblers. Friends that now, apparently, included Sam Evans and Santana Lopez, two people who had hated him this time last year. And, possibly more surprising, he had a boyfriend, who had also hated him this time last year. It was a lot to process, how much things had really changed. 

  


His phone vibrated again, and Sebastian unlocked the screen to see another message on the screen, outside of the group chat he had created. He opened it, relaxing back into the pillows at the head of his bed. 

**  
**

**From: Blondie:** _ Congrats, man. Kurt texted me about it, too, he seems happy. Just a heads up though bc Rachel knows and she is absolutely going to tell Blaine that this is a whole thing that’s happening so be prepared for that. _

**  
**

**To: Blondie:** _ I’m not afraid of Blaine. He can go fuck himself. _

**  
**

**From: Blondie:** _ Gross, dude. _

  


Sebastian locked his phone screen again and set it on top of his laptop on the bedside table. He took his glasses off and laid them next to his phone, reaching up to turn out the light. He wasn’t worried about Blaine. Sure, Blaine was definitely not going to let this go, and Sebastian was counting on him making a scene about it. But Sebastian was happy, and Kurt was happy, and as far as he could tell, there were more people in his corner than Blaine had in his. So if Blaine wanted to try to turn this into something, Sebastian was ready for it. In fact, he was almost looking forward to it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the nice comments on this story. Thank you all so much, you warm my heart. I know timelines are a little wonky, bare with me on them. Just take them as they go, it's fine. And I know this is around where Finn would be dying in the show, but I'm not writing his death in this. Everyone lives. I can't handle that mentally right now.

The Lima Bean was surprisingly busy for a Tuesday afternoon, so Sebastian, Jefff, and Nick were crowded into one table with Sebastian’s government book opened in front of them. Government was only bearable when he wasn’t working on it alone, and that had somehow turned into studying with Jeff and Nick. He wasn’t quite sure when that had happened, but they needed the help with it as much as he did. 

  


“Executive and judicial,” Nick listed off, pencil hovering over his notebook, frowning deeply as he struggled to remember.

  


“Legislative,” Sebastian finished, setting his own pencil down and rubbing his eyes. “I have never hated a class more in my life, and my Geometry teacher freshman year was homophobi c and had no clue what he was talking about.”

  


“Are we about to get a whole speech about how you’re so smart you’re even more intelligent than your teachers?” Jeff asked, sounding unimpressed. 

  


“Well, it’s true,” Sebastian shrugged. 

  


“Unbelievable.”

  


“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Sam Evans began as he joined them at the table, setting his bag down. “Dealing with Blaine drama. He knows, dude, and he told Tina and Brittany and Artie, and I don’t think Britt and Artie really care, but Tina is one hundred percent, fully on Blaine’s side.”

  


Sebastian rolled his eyes, raising his coffee to take a drink of it. “Yeah, so is Trent. So are a lot of the Warblers, apparently. Guess I lost their loyalty when I stopped being captain. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Did Blaine throw a hissy fit?”

  


“Yeah, he sang Wake Up Call by Maroon 5. As terrible as you think it was, it was actually worse. He’s got a great voice, but it kinda felt like he was threatening you through song, which you could probably get him arrested for.” 

  


Rolling his eyes even harder, Sebastian replied, “No, because he didn’t actually do anything to me and threat via song is not actually covered under the law. My dad is a lawyer. But that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m honestly not surprised. That’s also a cheating song, and I want to point out the irony that he is the only person in this non-existent love triangle he’s creating that has actually cheated.”

  


“The look on Finn’s face, dude, it was hilarious. He told Blaine it was an inappropriate song to sing, especially about his  _ brother _ , and then there was this whole Rachel-esque storm out,” Sam grinned, looking entirely too amused. “For the fact that he dated Kurt for like two years, he forgets that Finn is his brother a lot.”

  


“I’m once again glad I never actually went to school with Blaine. I never would have found him attractive, I’d just be in prison for murder, and I’m way too good looking for prison. Public school sounds like a fucking nightmare, by the way.”

  


“Your ego is a fucking nightmare. And no,” Jeff protested, shaking his head. “He would have been like that at Dalton, too, except he always got his way. I think it would have been hilarious to have seen him actually have to compete for solos. Who would have won, Sebastian or Blaine?” 

  


“The answer,” Sebastian responded, “is that I will always beat Blaine Anderson, no matter what the competition is. And on that subject, kind of…” Trailing off, he reached into his bag and pulled an envelope from the front pocket. He tossed it onto the table over his government book, covering the page they had been studying from.

  


Nick was the one to pick it up, pulling the papers from inside it. “NYADA?” At the name, Jeff and Sam leaned closer to read it over his shoulder. “‘Mr. Smythe , we are pleased to inform you that you have a callback audition for the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts’,” he read, eyes going wide. “Holy shit, Sebastian, you have a callback for NYADA!”

  


“Yeah, I know, I’ve read the letter. It was touch and go for a minute because of recent scandals with the Warblers, but my name was cleared and they looked up my performances. My audition is Friday in the McKinley auditorium. And so, I would assume, is Blaine’s, considering it would be more convenient to do them both.”

  


Sam snatched the letter from Nick’s hand, staring at it. “Forget Blaine, dude! This is awesome. Have you told Kurt?”

  


“No.” Reaching out, he took the paper and tucked it back into his backpack. “And you are not going to tell him either, Blondie. If I make it, I can surprise him with the acceptance letter, if I don’t, no one had their hopes up. I already got my acceptance letter to NYU, I’m going to New York either way. I’ve also talked about dual enrolling in classes if I do get accepted so I can take journalism classes at NYU, but we’ll see what happens.”

  


“Can we come to your audition?” Nick asked, shutting his notebook, and it looked like yet another afternoon of studying was going to be put on hold. It was good that Sebastian was a quick learner, or he would absolutely fail this class, given how little he had actually studied for it. 

  


“Oh, yeah! We can sit in the audience and cheer you on!” Jeff added, sounding excited. “Not that you need cheerleaders, but I do want to see you audition.”

  


“Kurt was a cheerleader once,” Sam inserted, and Sebastian stared at him, considering that in a certain corner of his mind.

  


“Okay, that is a story I absolutely need to hear. And yeah, you guys can come. I really don’t care.” It would be nice to have them there instead of just auditioning for the one person. He had never really been nervous to perform before, and the closest he had ever gotten to performing for anyone was Karofsky. This was a completely different thing and he couldn’t deny that it did have him feeling anxious. NYADA was notoriously tough, and he hadn’t been planning to audition at all until recently. There was every chance that he was going to fail.

  


As he closed his government book, his phone started to ring quietly in the pocket of his blazer. Frowning, he pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the screen for half a second before hitting the accept button. “Hey,” was his greeting as he slipped his government book back into his backpack.

  


“Hey,” Kurt greeted back, a smile in his voice. “I have a minute or three before I have to be on a train to Vogue. Sorry it’s been a little hectic for phone calls today, between classes and now having to go right to work.”

  


“My boyfriend works for Vogue, I can’t exactly complain about that. I’m going to be a trophy husband someday,” Sebastian teased, and he was almost positive he could hear Kurt rolling his eyes on the other end. 

  


“I intern for Vogue, and it is way too soon to be talking about husbands, Sebastian Smythe. We’ve been dating for a day and you already want to get married. That must have been some kiss at the airport.”

  


Sebastian opened his mouth to protest, though he was smirking at the playful tone of Kurt’s voice. He didn’t manage to voice his protest, however, because this conversation had spectators. “Is that Kurt?” Jeff demanded. 

  


“Of course it’s Kurt,” Sam answered before Sebastian could. “Tell him we say hi. Oh, and tell him about Blaine’s hissy fit.”

  


Sebastian waved his hand dismissively. “Yes, it’s Kurt. Jeff, Nick, and Sam say hi. Very demandingly, I might add. I blame you for being the reason I have friends that give me a perpetual headache, by the way. And Sam insists that I tell you Blaine threw a fit because he knows we started dating.”

  


“I never told you to be friends with any of them,” Kurt protested, laughing. Sebastian grinned. “You just liked me so much that you had to be friends with all of my friends to figure out how to date me, and now you’re stuck with them, too, as annoying as they can be. That must be so awful for you, Bas, to have real friends.”

  


“We’ll go with that story, yeah,” Sebastian snorted, shaking his head.

  


“It’s cute how you accept that I always win so soon. Anyway, what was Blaine’s hissy fit? Rachel is probably the one who told him, she’s been giving me the cold shoulder all day. And by that I mean while I was home this morning. I think I prefer it to her shoving her nose into my love life.”

  


“Apparently it was just the typical thing,” Sebastian answered, leaning down to tuck his pencil down into the side pocket of his bag. Jeff and Nick slipped into their own conversation, but Sam was watching him, with a curious look in his eyes. “He sang a song about it, Finn called him out, he stormed away like a five year old throwing a tantrum. The way you were attracted to someone with the mentality of a literal child is almost concerning, princess.”

  


“Stop talking. You’re incorrigible.” Kurt was quiet for a second, and then he sighed. “Blaine wasn’t always like that. Not in front of me, anyway. But I guess it doesn’t surprise me much. Don’t let it get to you, okay? He’s not worth your time or your energy, and he’ll accept the truth of it all sometime.”

  


“It doesn’t get to me.” And it didn’t, not really. “You already know what I think of your relationship with Blaine. It doesn’t bother me that he’s angry we’re together, it pisses me off that he thinks he has some kind of claim over you, after everything.”

  


“We’ll have this conversation sometime,” Kurt muttered, “but not right now, I’m about to get on a train. Are you still coming to New York next weekend? I was thinking of cooking dinner Saturday if you want. For us, Santana, and Rachel, if she’s talking to me again.”

  


“Is your cooking worth sitting through dinner with Santana and Rachel?” Sebastian grimaced, reaching for his cup of coffee and rubbing his thumb absently over the lid. 

  


“I’m not dignifying that with a response.”

  


“Yes, I’m still coming next weekend.”

  


“Good. I have to go now. I’ll text you later. Goodbye, Bas,” Kurt said, and Sebastian could hear the sound of the train in the background. Their phone conversations were probably going to be like this for a while; Kurt was busy, and Sebastian understood that. They had texted between classes, and they’d probably Skype when Kurt was done with his job. But even with the communication being hard to manage, things still felt easy. Sebastian was happy with it.

  


“Bye, princess, I’ll talk to you later.” Hanging up the call, he looked at Sam, who was still watching him, drumming his fingers against the table. “Why are you staring at me like that? Did I grow a second head or something?”

  


“I just hadn’t noticed it. You have this look when you talk to him. It reminds me of Santana when she looks at Brittany. You both try to be so hard, tough badasses who don’t feel anything and laugh in the face of pain or whatever, but you both get all soft. It shows on your face.”

  


Sebastian was positive he couldn’t roll his eyes any harder than he was. He had been under the impression that Sam was dumb, but apparently he saw a lot. It was irritating, but it also made Sebastian’s ears feel warm, like he was going to blush or something. That was even more annoying. “What’s your point?”

  


He couldn’t even deny that Sam was probably right. He could feel the way some of his sharper edges started to soften when he and Kurt spoke. He could feel some of the anger and bitterness starting to evaporate, and he only hoped that he could do the same with Kurt. He wasn’t sure about it; Kurt had a lot of pain and anger that he was warring with. If Sebastian helped with that at all, it was more than he had considered himself capable of. It was still something of a miracle in Sebastian’s opinion that he got genuine laughs out of him when he did. More than he expected. 

  


“I think he’s good for you,” Sam answered. “That’s all.”

  


Sebastian pushed away from the table and tossed his empty coffee cup into the trash can nearby. He picked his bag up and slung it over his shoulder, and then he shrugged. “Maybe he is. I’m leaving, though. Impossible to study with the three of you around. And I have an audition to get ready for.”

  


He said his goodbyes to his friends-- friends, a word that was still so strange and weighted to him-- and exited the Lima Bean. He hadn’t been kidding about studying or preparing for his audition, but he didn’t get too far on either. Luckily, he felt pretty confident in his intelligence and his performing ability. 

  


He couldn’t get his conversation with Sam out of his head. Kurt was good for him. That wasn’t hard to see. In a very short amount of time, he had already changed Sebastian’s life. He was definitely bringing out a better side of Sebastian, a side that had maybe always been there, though he had so rarely let it out. Now, he didn’t feel like he had to keep up his walls and be such an asshole. The things in his life that had given him those walls, like his ex and his father, still hurt and still left him angry, but their place in his list of priorities had fallen considerably. 

  


In short, he was happy. And that was new. 

  


Opening his phone, he sent out two quick texts before resuming his studying, and he shut his phone off once they were sent, so as to not get distracted when they were answered. 

**  
**

**To: Princess:** _ Sam said something about you being good for me. Still processing how I feel about that. I can’t believe that someone finally turned me into something of a decent person, but of course it was you. _

**  
**

**To: Anderson:** _ I know you know that Kurt and I are dating, and I know you threw a fit. I don’t care what you think about it. You are not getting Kurt back, and that has nothing to do with me. You wouldn’t have gotten him back, anyway, but this involves me now, and I’m not going to keep playing nice. I’m telling you one last time. Stop harassing my boyfriend, and stop harassing me. That’s the last time I’ll be polite about it. Next time you stick your nose somewhere it doesn’t belong, I won’t have any regrets about being impolite. That is a promise. _


	14. Chapter 14

Sebastian hadn’t spent a whole lot of time in McKinley, but it felt even more strange to walk to the auditorium Friday afternoon than it had any of the other times before. The whole place gave off a weird vibe; Sebastian had heard enough about what had gone on in this school to know that it probably should have been shut down years ago. The bad vibe was even worse considering that Blaine was already there when he walked in, and he turned dark, angry eyes on Sebastian as soon as Sebastian had stepped past the door to the backstage area, Jeff, Nick, and Sam following after him.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, and Tina and -- well, Sebastian wasn’t sure who the other girl there was, aside from knowing that she was the one who had passed out on stage at Sectionals and he did hope she was doing better than she had been-- paused in their conversation to look at Sebastian, and then back at Blaine, like they were waiting for someone to throw a punch. Sebastian rolled his eyes. 

“Auditioning. Same as you.” He shrugged. “Don’t look so surprised, you already knew I was a better performer than you.” Holding up a hand, he cut off whatever Blaine was about to say. “I don’t care. I’m here to audition for NYADA, and then I’m leaving. You’re not worth my time, and if you let me in your head today, you’re going to fuck up, and I think you need all the help you can get.”

“You really think you’re better than him?” Jeff asked as Blaine stormed away, his own little entourage in tow. 

“I think I’m under his skin and that’s throwing him off,” Sebastian replied. “We’ll see what happens. Anyway, go sit down, I need to make sure I’m not about to forget the words.” He’d gone through the whole song more than once already today, but that didn’t mean anything if he let himself overthink it now. 

“Good luck,” Sam said, patting Sebastian on the shoulder. “You got this.” He flashed a grin before following Jeff and Nick into the seats to find a place to sit. Sebastian glanced out into the mostly empty seats, and he was honestly glad they were there.

Tina, Brittany, the other girl whose name Sebastian didn’t remember, that rich girl Sugar whose name he only knew because her dad was famous, and Artie were all there for Blaine. So was Trent, unsurprisingly, and a couple of the other Warblers. That didn’t phase Sebastian a whole lot, he was sure he could have auditioned just fine if they were all sitting there hoping for him to fail, but it was nice that he had a couple people in his own corner that weren’t hoping for him to fail. 

“Am I late, did I miss it?” 

Sebastian turned on his heel abruptly, stunned out of his thoughts. “Kurt, what are you doing here?” 

Kurt hurried into the backstage area and threw his arms around Sebastian’s neck in a tight hug. Confused and startled, but not at all unhappy, Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist to hug him back. “Come on, Bas, did you really think that Sam could keep a secret from me? He told me you were auditioning today, and I may have used a family emergency as an excuse to get out of classes today and come see you.”

Sebastian laughed, still a little stunned. “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. It was entirely unnecessary, but I’m glad that you’re here.” And he was, though he had meant to keep this a surprise from Kurt. He hadn’t actually seen Kurt in more than just Skype calls since Sunday, and being in the same room as him again felt… lighter. He was suddenly a little less anxious. 

“I wasn’t going to miss this,” Kurt replied casually, like he hadn’t had to take an hour and a half flight back to Ohio and skipped classes, just to come and see Sebastian perform one song for an audition with no guarantee that it was going to go well, or that he was even going to make it into school with this. 

“Thank you.” 

Kurt beamed and pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s lips to kiss him softly. It was over too quickly as the person who would be moderating the auditions, Carmen Tibideaux, called for Blaine to start his audition. And for a second, all Sebastian could think was that he wanted to keep kissing Kurt, fuck the audition, but Kurt pulled away. “I’m going to go sit down with Sam. Good luck.”

Sebastian exhaled slowly as he watched Kurt walk away. It felt entirely surreal that Kurt thought this was something so important that he would come all the way back to Ohio just to see it. He’d always known that Kurt would be the supportive kind of boyfriend, to the point of being detrimental to himself, but this was just an audition, a three minute thing. And sure, he would probably see his family while he was here, too, but he’d left classes early so he wouldn’t miss the audition, and that made Sebastian’s heart swell. Overwhelmed with the kind of feelings that used to terrify him, he shook his head to shake the thoughts away, and turned his attention to Blaine Anderson, walking out onto the stage. 

“My name is Blaine Anderson, and I’ll be singing Can’t Take My Eyes Off You from Jersey Boys.” 

Sebastian found Kurt, sitting in the audience, and the look on his face was well-practiced politeness, but it screamed boredom and disinterest. He had the look down to a science, and Sebastian smirked. Once, Kurt might have been doe-eyed and lovestruck to see Blaine belting out a love ballad on a stage, staring at Kurt like he was the only person in the room, but now he was whispering lowly to Sam, like he could really care less. 

Sebastian could really care less, too, all things considered. Though there was still a flair of frustration. Blaine hadn’t even known Kurt was going to be here, unless Rachel had texted him that Kurt was leaving. But even then, that wouldn’t have been enough time to change his whole audition just to serenade Kurt with this song. At least, Sebastian hoped not, because if he found out this was intentional, he was going to break Blaine’s jaw. 

“Thank you, Mr. Anderson,” Carmen Tibideaux said curtly when the last notes of the song faded out. “Sebastian Smythe.” 

Sebastian passed Blaine on the way onto the stage, and he could not pretend it wasn’t an accident that Blaine slammed their shoulders together as they passed. He had to fight to keep his expression straight and flat; he was pretty sure turning around and confronting Blaine about it would be a good look in front of the person he was auditioning for. 

He rolled his shoulders experimentally and stood up straighter. “My name is Sebastian Smythe and I’ll be singing I’m Alive from the Broadway musical Next to Normal.” He glanced at Kurt, who looked stunned, and then smirked. Subverting expectations was one of his favorite things to do, and he had always liked this musical. He had especially liked this song the first time he’d heard it, and it was capable of showing off his vocal range, acting ability, and a little bit of his dancing, which was where he knew he had Blaine beat. 

It felt as natural as breathing, and halfway through the first verse, he forgot that he was auditioning and let himself get lost in the song. He had always liked to perform, even if he hadn’t considered it a career option until very recently. So it came easily to him as he sang, and when the song ended, he was breathing heavily. He thought he had done good-- the looks on his friends’ and boyfriend’s face told him that he had done well. Carmen Tibideuax however, was sitting stone-faced and expressionless. 

“Sebastian Smythe. I’ve seen your performance with the Dalton Academy Warblers, the one that was revealed to have involved the use of steroids.”

Sebastian exhaled sharply, hesitating for a moment before he answered. “Yes. I was the uninvolved element of that performance. I didn’t take them. I have the results of those tests that I had to forward to NYADA when I first applied.” He deliberately did not look at Kurt, who he had not told of that whole scandal, or Blaine, who he knew would be smirking like he was winning something here. 

Carmen’s expression did not change, and she stared at Sebastian like she was seeing right through him. He wasn’t lying, he hadn’t taken steroids when the rest of the team had, and he’d only performed that night because Hunter had practically begged him to. He hadn’t thought it was worth risking the lacrosse team to get a step up in a show choir competition. “Well, then,” Carmen said finally, “that makes your performance that night even more impressive. And your performance today was equally so. Well done.” 

Sebastian released a breath and smiled. “Thank you.” He nodded once, politely, and then left the stage, deciding at that moment that never singing for that woman again would still be entirely too soon. 

Kurt met him in the backstage area, and he was practically beaming, eyes warm and bright. “That was amazing. You are amazing,” he said as he wrapped Sebastian in another hug, and Sebastian returned it, despite the very knowing grins they were earning from Jeff and Nick. He’d had no reason to believe Kurt would be so physically affectionate while in a relationship, but it didn’t surprise him. “I’ll demand to know about the steroids thing later, for the moment I’m just very proud of you.” 

Brushing off the way that comment made him feel, warm all over and like he was feeling entirely too much all at once, Sebastian just smirked. Now was not the time to confront his feelings. “Well, I figured Sam would have told you, considering he couldn’t keep a secret about this.” He raised an eyebrow in Sam’s direction.

Shrugging, Sam replied, “Sorry, dude. But not really, you don’t look all that upset that he’s here.”

“I’m not, but that’s not the point.”

“Kurt.” Blaine’s voice interrupted them, and Sebastian’s easy smile faded. Of course, it could never just be that simple, he wasn’t about to just leave them well enough alone. And he still had that kicked-puppy expression that Sebastian had really come to hate. “Can I talk to you? It’s kind of important.” He was deliberately not looking at Sebastian, like Sebastian didn’t still have a hand on the small of Kurt’s back to keep him close. 

Kurt took a deep breath and glanced up, causing Sebastian to shrug a shoulder. “Look. I trust you, and you can handle whatever this is on your own, so if you want me to walk away right now and let you deal with this yourself, I will do that,” he began very quietly, his tone heavy with promise, because he did trust Kurt. But… “But I do not trust Blaine to not try something, so just… be prepared for that, alright.” 

“You think he’s still trying to get me back?” Kurt asked, sounding doubtful.

Sebastian scoffed, “You think he’s not? I don’t think he’s given up just because you started dating me, no. And I am not giving you up that easily, but that doesn’t make me trust him any more.”

Kurt shook his head, like somehow, after everything, he didn’t know what about him would be so desirable that Blaine would want him back. Like he hadn’t been paying attention the entire time that Blaine had been trying to get him back. He turned his attention back to Blaine, who looked particularly irritable, and forced a polite smile. “Okay, yes. We can talk, but whatever you have to say to me, you’re going to say in front of Sebastian, too. The sooner you accept that he is my boyfriend, the better it’s going to be for us all.”

Blaine grimaced, but he didn’t protest, which was probably a step in the right direction, but Sebastian didn’t trust it for a second. There was a punch somewhere here, he was just waiting for it. They left the auditorium, Sebastian waving a hand to Sam to let him know that it was fine before he tried to follow them out. 

“Public school is disgusting,” Sebastian mused as they walked through the hallways to wherever Blaine was leading them. “You dealt with this for four years? That’s depressing, I’m sorry.”

“We aren’t all rich enough to afford school years abroad,” Kurt responded sarcastically, though he threaded his fingers with Sebastian’s as they walked. Sebastian chose to ignore the look they were getting because of it, not from the students in the hallway, but from Blaine. Loathing and longing looks. Choosing to ignore them was probably a better course of action than starting a physical fight in a very public hallway of a high school. 

“Sucks for you, I think everyone should spend a year in Paris,” Sebastian replied, raising an eyebrow when Blaine opened a door and motioned them both into a room. 

“We will talk about your ego at another time,” Kurt responded, attempting to fight back a grin. “Blaine, why are we in the choir room?” he asked as he moved to sit in one of the chairs in the front row, looking around. His eyes were fond, but Sebastian was pretty positive that was the memories that resided in this room for him and not Blaine. He was choosing to believe as much, anyway.

“I told you I wanted to talk to you, and I think we both say things better here,” Blaine explained, sitting down on the piano bench. 

“If I have to listen to you serenade him with Teenage Dream right now, I will not stop myself from strangling you with that absolutely disgusting bow tie you’re wearing right now” Sebastian cut in, leaning against the wall by the door. “Don’t forget that I’m standing right here, Rainbow Dash.”

Blaine’s look to him was pure and utter loathing, and Sebastian raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. The staredown lasted for less than a second before Blaine’s attention was back on Kurt. “I’m not going to sing. I just wanted to say that I came to this school last year because I… couldn’t bear to spend one day without you, and I would sit in this room with you every day last year and think about our future. We would sing to each other and at each other, and every day I would fall a little more in love with you.” 

Sebastian’s jaw tightened, his arms crossing over his chest. Kurt caught his eyes and shook his head slightly, and Sebastian heeded the plea for what it was. Kurt didn’t want to hear this anymore than Sebastian did, but he was asking without asking for Sebastian to not make a scene about it, so Sebastian settled himself against the wall and waited. 

“Blaine--”

“No, Kurt, let me finish. I know that I messed up, and I will spend the rest of my life regretting that. And every day, for the rest of my life, I’m going to try to make it up to you. If you would give me that chance. Kurt, I just want to ask you…” As if in slow motion, Sebastian watched Blaine slide off of the piano bench and drop to one knee, pulling a box out of the pocket of his pants. And then he asked, as calm as could be, “Will you marry me?”


	15. Chapter 15

Sebastian didn’t actually remember moving. Suddenly though, he had moved forward, and now Kurt’s hands were on his arms to restrain him, and blood was dripping down Blaine’s nose over his lips. And Sebastian would have considered the thought that, since he had not consciously made the decision to punch Blaine, maybe Kurt had done it, but Sebastian’s knuckles ached and were spotted with blood, and he was breathing heavily. He was seething, vision tinged red with rage, and he was liable to lunge at Blaine again, but Kurt’s hands tightening around his biceps forced him to a stop and stay in one place, no matter how much he wanted nothing more than to knock Blaine's teeth out alongside that bloody nose.

“Sebastian, calm down,” Kurt whispered urgently, breaking through the haze of rage, red and hot and blazing. “Sebastian, please, you will get arrested and it's not worth that. Calm down.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Blaine snapped, raising a hand to his nose to wipe the blood away, pinching at the bridge of it, and Kurt spun around so fast that Sebastian had to take a step back. 

“If Sebastian hadn’t beat me to it, I probably would have punched you myself,” he snapped, voice colder than Sebastian had ever heard it, and that was really saying something given how much Kurt had once hated him. “What the hell are you thinking, Blaine? We aren’t even dating! There's no way that I would want to marry you!”

“And I said--” Blaine tried to say, voice muffled. He sounded like his nose was probably broken, and Sebastian smirked, satisfied.

“Stop talking,” Kurt interrupted. “You do not get to talk your way out of this and try to charm me into thinking this was alright! In what world did you think this would be okay to me? Did Rachel text you and tell you I was coming here to support Sebastian today, and you just decided, yeah, that would be the best time to pull out a ring? When I was coming to support my boyfriend, the one that isn't you? How long have you had that ring? And what made you think I would ever say yes to you like this?” 

Sebastian had seen Kurt angry. He’d seen Kurt frustrated, he’d seen Kurt bitchy and fierce. He had never seen Kurt like this, like he was radiating fire. Sebastian’s own fury had not yet eased, but some of that sharp edge had filed away, seeing how absolutely enraged Kurt seemed to be. His entire body was tense, like he was barely restraining himself from actually murdering Blaine with his own hands. And as much as Sebastian would have loved nothing more, as hot as seeing Kurt so pissed off had him feeling, they were still in a very public high school. 

“Kurt,” Sebastian interceeded quietly, fingers wrapping around Kurt’s wrist and giving a gentle tug. He could feel Kurt’s heartbeat racing underneath his thumb, hummingbird fast and so rapid that it felt like it was about to beat out from underneath his skin. “As much as I would love to see you end Blaine right now, you would probably regret it in the long run, so… Calm down, alright?”

Kurt exhaled sharply, and though he did not turn his attention from Blaine, Sebastian could feel him relax a little under his fingers. “I don’t feel like I would regret it right now,” he muttered lowly, and Sebastian had to fight back a smirk. This was far from a funny situation, but the reaction was funny. Seeing Kurt angry at someone that wasn’t him was a different kind of hot though he figured he shouldn’t really be pulling any pleasure from this.

“Do you want to answer any of these questions?” Sebastian snapped at Blaine, who had gone ashen gray, like he couldn’t believe that this had somehow backfired on him. Like he really thought this was going to work, in some delusional part of his brain. As soon as Sebastian talked to him, though, his eyes went dark and cold, and he scowled. Like Sebastian was beneath his attention.

“Kurt, why are you with him?” he demanded, and Sebastian snorted. 

“Do you really want to go there right now, Anderson?” He had the texts in his phone still that proved that Blaine had wanted to be with him at one point, too. “Because I can play this game if you really want me to play this game. You just proposed to  _ my _ boyfriend in front of me, and I’m not feeling particularly nice, so please give me a reason to do more than just punch you in the face.”

“Why I’m with Sebastian doesn't matter, Blaine,” Kurt cut in, a hand raising to Sebastian’s shoulder to force him back. Were it not for that hand on his shoulder, Sebastian was likely to follow through with that threat. “Even if I wasn’t with Sebastian, I would not be saying yes to you! You cheated on me, and all I have asked you for since that is  _ time _ . Time to heal from that, and time to be on my own, without you, to learn my worth without you, and that is the one thing you have refused to give me. You have ambushed me, and somehow made everything about you. And the more I look at our relationship, the more I realize that if this is your definition of soulmates, I’m really worried about whoever you turn that on again, because this has been so unhealthy.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked, like he really didn’t know, his eyes puppy-dog wide, pleading. Sebastian rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He was over this. He was over Blaine.

“The more I have talked to people about us, about how we were, the more I realize that our relationship was unhealthy for us both. I had sex with you for the first time because I was afraid you were going to cheat on me, and I was gone for two weeks before you actually did. I was never confident in us, Blaine, and I guess there was a reason for that. A pat of me is always going to love you for what you gave me and what you taught me, and how you brought me out of the worst parts of myself, but you also brought some of the worst parts out of me, and you think that, even with all the bad, we’re soulmates?” 

Blaine’s lip quivered, and Sebastian seriously thought for a moment that he was actually going to start crying. “All of those talks about our future, and everything… You said you would never say goodbye to me.”

“I thought you would never cheat on me. Or get mad at me for saying no to having sex with you in the back of my car after you spent all night dancing with another guy. Or accuse me of cheating on you with a guy I had only seen face to face once. I thought you were a different person than you turned out to be.” Kurt exhaled slowly, and Sebastian was aware that he was trembling. He moved a step closer and laid a hand on the small of Kurt’s back, unsure of how to comfort him. This, ultimately, was not his business, but he wasn’t going to walk away and let Kurt handle this alone.

“I love you, Kurt,” Blaine responded, taking a step closer, and Sebastian put himself between them.

“Stop,” Sebastian ordered firmly. “I told you if you didn’t leave well enough alone, I wasn’t going to be polite. You haven’t left my boyfriend alone, and now I’m going to prove to him that you were never what you said you were. How in love with him were you when you were sexting me?” Blaine gaped, and from behind him, Sebastian could hear Kurt gasp. “And you’re going to blame Kurt for you cheating, but what was your excuse when you wanted me to fuck you?”

“Sebastian, what are you talking about?” Kurt asked, and he sounded so broken that Sebastian almost didn’t want to answer. 

“Don’t,” Blaine threatened quietly, and Sebastian shoved him back sharply, causing him to stumble backwards into the line of chairs. 

“I need you to understand that this was over a year ago now,” Sebastian began as he turned to Kurt, pulling his phone from his pocket. “And I should have shown this to you before right now, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.” 

“Don’t,” Blaine repeated, louder, but Sebastian already had the text thread open and was passing his phone to Kurt for him to read. “Kurt--” 

Kurt held up a hand, and Blaine fell silent. Sebastian watched as Kurt’s face went from horrified, and then wounded, to carefully blank and expressionless. “You told me,” he began softly, so, so softly that Sebastian almost didn’t hear him, “that all your texts with Sebastian were family friendly. You  _ told me _ that what I was texting with Chandler was cheating on you when the whole time, you were practically begging Sebastian to fuck you, and some of these texts you sent, I was in the  _ same room. _ And now you are standing here asking me to marry you and telling me that you love me? I hope that someone makes you feel even half of what this has made me feel because it still will not be even a fourth of what you deserve to feel.” 

“Kurt, it’s not--”

“Shut up!” 

Blaine fell abruptly silent again, and Sebastian took a step back. Kurt’s rage had spiraled, all consuming and filling the entire room. It was fueled by hurt and anger and sorrow and sadness, and Sebastian winced. This was why he had never wanted to show Kurt those messages, but a part of him knew that, had he kept it to himself any longer, the fallout would have been a thousand times worse. All he could do now was try to help bring him down and out of whatever he was feeling right now, and just be there for him until it didn't hurt so much.

“Kurt,” Sebastian began softly, reaching out to comfort him, though he wasn’t sure how to do that.

“No,” Kurt snapped, and suddenly that fury was turned on him, colder than ice. Cold in a way that burned into Sebastian’s skin and made him feel numb all over. “Don’t you dare. I don’t know what your game is here, but I am not playing it.”

Sebastian frowned, brow furrowing. “Game? Kurt, this isn’t-- What game?” 

“Dating me? Tring to convince me you ever actually gave a shit about me or about being in a relationship with me? Whatever game that was to you, whatever prize you wanted out of it, I was stupid enough that I fell for it, and now… congratulations. You both win.” Kurt shoved Sebastian’s phone against his chest and stormed out of the choir room, the door slamming shut behind him. 

“It kind of feels like we both lose,” Sebastian muttered into the silence that followed, gripping onto his phone numbly. He felt cold all over, like someone had plunged ice water into his veins. He had predicted fights in his relationship with Kurt. That was to be expected. He had not expected something like this. 

“Did you think he wouldn’t be mad?” Blaine asked with a scoff, and Sebastian held up a hand, aware of the tremor in his fingers. His grip on his phone was so tight that his knuckles almost hurt, and he shoved it back into his pocket before he shattered the screen.

“Stop talking before I break more than just your nose.”

“Would that make you feel better? It won’t get him back.”

Sebastian turned on his heel, and his fist connected with Blaine’s jaw before he was even aware of what he was doing. Blaine staggered back a step, but then he snarled under his breath. He was quick, his fist connecting hard with Sebastian’s side before Sebastian could track what was happening. 

“What the fuck is your problem with me, huh?” Blaine demanded, his voice sharp and cold, though it came out strangled, likely from the hit to his jaw. 

“I think that could all be covered in how you just proposed to my boyfriend in front of me, maybe cost me that relationship, and act like you’ve never done anything wrong,” Sebastian yelled, and he wanted nothing more than to hit Blaine again, but he couldn’t find the energy to do it. “You think you’re so fucking perfect that you don’t even see all the ways you hurt him.” He moved a hand to his side, feeling along his rib to make sure it wasn’t cracked. And it probably wasn’t, but it hurt. 

“What does it matter to you? You never wanted a relationship. You don’t believe in relationships.” 

Sebastian sneered, shaking his head. “I’m not explaining myself to you,” he replied, wincing at the pain in his side. Blaine hit hard, he was almost impressed with it. “It’s not your business, but I do care about Kurt. Maybe you’d understand that, if you ever had. I’m going to go find my boyfriend, you aren’t worth my time.” 

“I don’t think he’s your boyfriend anymore,” Blaine called after him as he walked towards the door of the choir room. 

“And I know that he’ll never be your boyfriend again,” Sebastian responded, and the choir room door shut behind him as he left, to figure out where Kurt was and start to make this right.


	16. Chapter 16

Even if the piano music from the auditorium wasn’t a giveaway for where Kurt was, there wasn’t anywhere else he would have looked. He knew Kurt well enough to know where Kurt would go when he was feeling hurt or alienated, when he was feeling alone. He would go where he felt the most comfortable, which was always the stage. He was a natural born performer.

  


Kurt was sitting at the piano, fingers sliding over the keys easily. Sebastian hadn’t known Kurt could play piano, but he supposed he wasn’t all that surprised. He stood at the edge of the stage and listened for a minute, watching the length of Kurt’s spine as he sat up straight, his eyes on his fingers. 

  


“I’m sure if I tried to look up that melody, I’d find a song about a cheating ex-boyfriend. Or one about how the current boyfriend is kind of an asshole but he’s sorry for keeping something secret that he shouldn’t have kept a secret,” Sebastian said as he walked farther onto the stage, meeting Kurt’s gaze when he turned on the bench. 

  


“No, it’s just a song I made up, not that you can really look up a melody,” Kurt replied, tilting his head as Sebastian pushed his hands into the pockets of his blazer. “I don’t want to talk to you, Sebastian, leave me alone.” His voice was colder than ice, and Sebastian sighed. Kurt was clearly not in a forgiving mood, but he wasn’t about to let this just go like that.

  


“Well, that sucks, because I want to talk to you. You’re mad, I get it, and I’m sorry, but I can’t help but feeling like you’re only mad because it was me and Blaine and not because I kept it from you. Yeah, I wanted to sleep with Blaine a year ago, but I never did. You  _ did  _ sleep with Blaine a year ago, but all of that predates us, so why does it matter now?” When Kurt didn’t answer, instead turning to stare at his fingers on the piano keys, Sebastian sighed again, frustrated.. God damn, Kurt was stubborn. “Is it even about that? Or are you mad because you think I’m still into him?” 

  


Kurt frowned, finger slipping on the keys. The note echoed dully through the auditorium, and his lips only curled further into a frown, drawing his eyebrows together. “I do wonder… all the time,  how things changed so fast for you. I’m not Blaine, I’m not-- You know, he’s attractive and talented and charming and--” His voice sounded so broken, so hopeless.

  


“And so are you,” Sebastian interrupted, raising an eyebrow. Kurt stared at him silently, and then shook his head, like even the mere thought of that was entirely unbelievable. Sebastian hated that. 

  


“He never talked to me like that. He never sent me dirty texts like that, he never… there wasn’t even dirty talk when we were intimate, and I thought that it was just because he wasn’t into that kind of thing, but I guess he just wasn’t into me. We didn’t get physical together very often, we only had sex a couple times, and it was never like how he talked to you in those messages.”

  


Sebastian frowned, rubbing one hand over his face. “Do you want me to start sending you dirty text messages? Because I’m completely down to do that, and I will gladly tell you the filthy thoughts I have about you, but I thought it would make you uncomfortable, and I don’t want you thinking this is all about sex, anyway.”

  


Kurt laughed, breaking the tension somewhat, and then smacked lightly at Sebastian’s arm. “Shut up, that’s not what I mean. It’s just hard to… to stomach that I dated him for two years and he never thought about me… like that.” 

  


“He doesn’t matter,” Sebastian insisted, sitting on the piano bench beside Kurt. He took one of Kurt’s hands in his own, his thumb rubbing over the back of it slowly. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks now. I think about you like that. I think about you in a lot of ways, Kurt. I don’t say it, or act on it, because I know you’re not ready to have sex with me, but I think you’re everything Blaine apparently didn’t. You are sexy and smart and clever and funny and so many other things that it’s hard for me to believe that I’m who you chose to be with, and if Blaine never saw that, that’s on him, but I’m not him. And I get that he's going to be a part of this because he's a part of your past, until you heal, but I have different opinions than Blaine.” 

  


Kurt’s cheeks had flushed warm pink, a blush that spread down his neck and disappeared under his shirt. He looked at their joined hands, chewing on his lower lip. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? About those text messages? I mean, even before we were… together, you could have used them against me. Why didn’t you?” 

  


“Everything was happening… so fast, and then Karofsky… and I put it all out of my mind. And then you two broke up, and I considered it, but I started talking to you, and I started to really care about you. And you were already so insecure about Blaine, you already thought that you were the one that wasn’t good enough for him. I had all this proof that, no, you were way too fucking good for him, but showing you those messages was only going to hurt you more and make you more insecure, and I really didn’t want you to fall back into a spiral. You were starting to see your worth without him.”

  


Kurt raised a hand to wipe tears from his eyes, and Sebastian forced himself to swallow down the way it made him feel. He didn’t want to be the reason Kurt was crying, and he knew he had contributed to it. “You should have told me sooner.”

  


“I know.” 

  


“No more secrets, Sebastian. I need you to promise me that. I can’t be in a relationship where there isn’t trust, and I don’t think you can either, we’re both too damaged for that.”

  


Sebastian nodded, meeting Kurt’s beautifully bright eyes. “You’re right. And I’m sorry. Just, can you not storm out whenever you’re angry at me? Give me a chance to talk to you, or apologize if I’m in the wrong, before you decide I’m still the villain in your story and not the distractingly attractive love interest?”

  


Kurt snorted, rolling his eyes. “You’re impossible. But I will try.” 

  


“You like that I’m impossible,” Sebastian challenged, smirking, but his tone softened when he added, “Thank you,” genuinely. He wasn’t the best at communication, and it seemed that Kurt wasn’t, really, either. But the fact that they were both willing to try for each other said quite a lot to Sebastian. “And just so you know, you’re a lot sexier than Blaine. That night we went to Scandals, not letting you kiss me was about the hardest thing I’ve had to do.”

  


“I tried to kiss you?” Kurt turned vividly red, dropping his face into his hands. “I am so sorry.”

  


“Don’t be,” Sebastian smirked. “You were very drunk, I knew you didn’t mean it. But you were very, very sexy that night, and it was hard to not act on every impulse I had. So don’t think I don’t find you sexy, because I do.”

  


Kurt’s blush had not dulled, and he waved a hand. “I don’t-- Hush, I’m not--” He seemed to be unable to pursue that subject any farther, so he shifted it. “You said that you had experiences where you wished the guy had realized being drunk wasn’t consent, and that’s why you weren’t going to let me sleep with anyone. Is that why  _ you  _ refused to kiss me, even though I knew and trusted you?” 

  


Sebastian exhaled through his nose, grateful that Kurt hadn’t bothered to pry further into those experiences. His trust in Sebastian had been misplaced, and he was shocked to know he had it at all. “Partially. But you were also probably my best, if not only, friend at that point, and I didn’t want to complicate things. I’ve had meaningless sex, it wouldn’t have bothered me, but you would have regretted it when you were sober, and you would have hated me for letting you do it. Just because you were doing a very good impression of someone who wanted to sleep with me didn’t mean you were actually giving me your consent, and I’m not like that.”

  


“That’s very sweet of you,” Kurt mumbled.

  


“Yeah, you have a habit of bringing out that side of me.”

  


Kurt laughed, and then raised one hand to Sebastian’s jaw, leaning in to kiss him softly. Deciding that yes, this was better than talking, Sebastian returned the kiss, moving his hand to the side of Kurt’s neck. They kissed like this, soft and slow, and Sebastian didn’t feel the need to push it any farther. He was definitely getting addicted to the sweet softness of Kurt’s lips on his, but he was still consistently surprised that he didn’t feel like it was only a way to get to sex. He was kissing Kurt because he liked kissing Kurt, and if it didn’t go any farther than that, he was okay with that, too. 

  


“The next time we fight, you should just kiss me like that and I won’t remember why I’m mad,” Kurt murmured against Sebastian’s lips, and Sebastian smirked. 

  


“Don’t tell me that, I’ll only use it against you.”

  


Before Kurt could reply, the sound of a throat being cleared caused him to move away, putting some space between them on the bench. “Don’t make it weird, Finn,” he was saying before Sebastian had even looked to see who was there. He supposed he was just grateful that it wasn’t Blaine, but still, Finn didn’t seem like the best option.

  


“You’re my brother, and I don’t like him, it’s always going to be weird,” Finn replied, and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. 

  


“Cute,” he responded. 

  


“Both of you, stop,” Kurt cut in. “Sebastian is part of my life, Finn, get over it. And don’t you be antagonistic,” he added sharply, like Sebastian was physically capable of not being antagonistic if the opportunity arose. “Did you need something?” he asked his brother, before Sebastian could point that fact out. 

  


“Well, Blaine’s nose is broken. I feel like you had something to do with that.” 

  


“I did,” Sebastian confirmed. “He proposed to Kurt, I punched him, he wouldn’t shut up so I punched him again. He punched me back, I guess we’ll call it even.” 

  


“Wait, he hit you?” Kurt demanded, at the same time that Finn asked, “He proposed?” in a bewildered tone.

  


“Yes. To both of you. It’s not that bad, he just landed a hit to the side,” he added, to nullify the look on Kurt’s face, while Finn’s expression shifted from shock to anger in a split second. “Gotta say, he hits harder than I thought, given he has the stature of a six year old. Don’t make it a fight, Finn, he can’t touch me, but he would make your life a living hell. And you have to deal with him more than I do.”

  


Finn frowned, and then nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right.” After another second, he asked, “Are you okay?” sounding very much like the question hurt him to ask, and Sebastian rolled his eyes. So he wasn’t about to just jump into a friendship with his boyfriend’s brother. That was fine. 

  


“Lift your shirt, let me see,” Kurt ordered, determined and Sebastian sighed, but did as he was told, raising the edge of his blazer and the shirt underneath it. “He left a bruise. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  


“Kurt, I’m fine. I promise.” It still stung, but it really wasn’t that bad, and it felt strange to have someone worrying over him like that. “I play lacrosse, and I’ve gotten worse bruises just learning choreography. Did you know Jeff kicked me in the shin during rehearsal so hard I was limping once? This is nothing.”

  


“If that’s the case, maybe you two want to get dinner later tonight?” Finn offered, his brow furrowed, like he wasn’t sure he even wanted to make the offer. “Sam’s idea, he misses you when you’re in New York, Kurt. And apparently, he and Sebastian are best buddies now. I’m not sure when that happened.”

  


“Neither am I, to be fair,” Sebastian allowed. “I’m down, under the stipulation that you invite Jeff and Nick. They will one hundred percent throw a bitch fit if Kurt’s here all weekend and they don’t get to gossip.” 

  


“I’ll send Jeff a text,” Kurt replied with a faint grin, shaking his head, but he did not deny that Jeff and Nick would do exactly that, because they both knew better. “And we’ll all meet up at Breadstix, say about seven?” 

  


“Seven it is,” Finn agreed and Sebastian nodded once. Whether or not this was going to be a good end to an already dramatic day, or just more drama on top of it all remained to be seen, but one thing was for sure; it was definitely going to be interesting.


	17. Chapter 17

“Sebastian, can I talk to you before we go in?” 

Sebastian stopped outside the doorway to Breadstix and glanced at Finn, before looking at Kurt. Kurt shrugged and pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s cheek. “I see Jeff and Nick already at a table. I’ll go tell them you two will be right in. Come on, Sam.” He grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him into the restaurant, leaving Sebastian outside the doors with Finn. 

“I guess that’s a yes,” Sebastian muttered, exhaling through his nose. “What do you need, Finn?” 

“Look, I don’t like you--”

“Dually noted. Is that all?”

Finn frowned, brow furrowing. “Yeah-- No. No, that’s not all. It just-- You really care about him?” he asked, motioning after Kurt. Sebastian glanced through the restaurant window, watching Kurt sit down with Sam, Jeff, and Nick. 

“Yeah, I care about him. You asked me that that night I brought him home, and I cared about him then. I care about him more now. You don’t have to like me, I don’t have to like you, but I’m going to be around because I am dating Kurt. You should probably get over it now, before it becomes a problem.”

Finn held up a hand, eyes narrowing. “I-- dude, no, it’s not-- I don’t think it’s a problem. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around it. It’s not about you, really, it’s just that Kurt is my brother and… I get it, you’ve changed, you’re a better person now, but I can’t just get past the shitty things you did.” 

“It’s my fault you can’t get past that?” Sebastian asked, eyebrows raised.

“It is, kind of, because you shouldn’t have been a shitty person in the first place,” Finn replied, and Sebastian scoffed. He didn’t want to admit that Finn was right. “Okay, so-- Okay. Answer a question for me. “

“Fine.”

“Why Kurt?”

It didn’t sound judgmental or angry. It didn’t sound like he was disbelieving that someone would choose Kurt. It just sounded curious. He genuinely wanted an answer; why was Sebastian with Kurt? Why had he decided to be with Kurt after all the times he had refused to have anything resembling a relationship? From the brother, he couldn’t deny that it was a question that may have needed answering. 

“You want me to sit here and tell you every reason I’m dating your little brother? Your brother, who is sitting in there with our friends, waiting for us to go inside and have dinner?”

“Yeah, I do,” Finn replied simply.

So he was serious. Sebastian frowned. “Is it hard to believe that I just like him? I like the person that he is. I like that he challenges me and matches me and makes me better than I was. I like it when he laughs. I like when we’re together. I could give you so many reasons-- I won’t, but I could. I don’t know what answer you’re looking for here.”

“Just honesty,” Finn murmured, glancing into the restaurant and watching Kurt for a long moment, quiet. “Which is what I think you just gave me. It's just that... I’ve seen him go through a lot. I didn’t stop Karofsky from hurting him. I didn’t see the kind of person Blaine really was. I’m not a good brother, but I don’t want to see Kurt get hurt again.”

“So this is what?” Sebastian asked. “The shovel talk? Cuz I gotta tell you, Santana and Sam beat you to it.”

“I’m not going to threaten you. You already know that there are a line of people who will take shots at you if you do something stupid. I know you know. Just promise me that you’ll do your best not to hurt him, and this conversation will be over. Okay?”

“I… Yeah,” Sebastian frowned, confused. He hadn’t expected it to be that easy. “Yeah. Okay, I promise.” He stared at Finn, waiting for the punch, but it didn’t look like one was coming. “Is that all?”

“Yeah. That’s all.”

“Alright, cool, well. I have a request for you. Can you at least try to act like I’m not still the same guy I was last year? Things have changed. I’ve changed. Give me at least half of a chance.”

“This is me giving you a chance,” Finn responded easily. “So don’t fuck it up.” He motioned to the door, and Sebastian hesitated for a brief moment before nodding and leading the way inside. This was one of the times where it was probably best not to push his luck, so he wasn’t going to. 

“This is the brother!” Jeff greeted jovially when they reached the table. He was practically beaming. “We’ve never officially met, but Kurt talked about you at Dalton a lot, so it feels like we know you.”

“Finn, this is Jeff Sterling and Nick Duval,” Sebastian introduced, motioning between them. “They are the gayest people I’ve ever met, and I am dating Kurt.”

“Uh, hi,” Finn replied, sitting down. Sebastian sat down in the empty seat between Kurt and Sam, smirking at the filthy look Kurt was giving him. 

“You’re an asshole.”

“You love it.” Grinning, Sebastian pressed his lips to Kurt’s cheek quickly. And then he picked up the menu to look over the options as Jeff, Nick, and Finn fell into conversation that apparently stemmed from what Kurt had told them about Finn while he had attended Dalton two years previously.

“Did Finn threaten you?” Kurt asked lowly, glancing at Sebastian as they looked over the menu together. “He’s a teddy bear, really, I don’t think he’d actually do anything.”

“He didn’t, actually. He was very civil. I’m paying for this, by the way, so order whatever you want.” He held up a hand before Kurt could protest, rolling his eyes. “You flew to Ohio to watch a three minute audition for a school I may not even get into. Please, let me buy you dinner, it is the least I can do to thank you.”

Kurt’s smile was soft and sweet, and his cheeks went faint pink. “Okay, fine. But only because you asked so nicely.”

“You two are such a couple,” Sam said, rolling his eyes, but he was grinning so widely that Sebastian thought it had to hurt. “It’s gross to watch. Anyway, what happened after Blaine pulled you both away?” 

Kurt folded the menu primly, setting it in the center of the table. His ears were red, and the flush had extended down his neck. He looked pointedly at Sebastian, who snickered. “Oh, no. You get to tell the story, considering you were the star of it.” He couldn’t possibly smirk any wider if he tried, especially when Kurt blew out an exasperated breath, his lower lip pushing out into a pout.

“You are the absolute worst.” 

“Yeah, I am.”

“Why am I dating you? Don’t answer that,” Kurt said before Sebastian could reply, which was probably for the best, given that the answer wouldn’t be family friendly, and Kurt’s brother was literally sitting  _ right there _ . “Blaine decided that… the best choice to make when Sebastian was standing right there, knowing that we are dating, was to propose to me.”

Sebastian couldn’t tell who looked more shocked, Sam, Jeff, or Nick. Now that his own rage over the situation had faded, he couldn’t help but find it kind of amusing. He would definitely still punch Blaine again, given the opportunity, but the desperation of it, the stupidity of it… it was almost funny. Blaine was the stupidest smart person that Sebastian had ever met, and so hopelessly naive that it was honestly concerning. Naivety combined with manipulative tendencies and arrogant confidence was a very dangerous thing. 

“He proposed to you?” Nick repeated, like he couldn’t believe it. Like maybe that was some elaborate prank that Kurt and Sebastian were trying to pull on the rest of them. 

“Yes.”

“What did you say?” Jeff asked, leaning forward over the table.

“He said yes, obviously,” Sebastian answered before Kurt could. “That’s why he’s sitting here with me. His fiance was absolutely fine with him going out on a date with another guy.” He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with the dirty look Jeff was giving him. 

“Would it kill you to not be a sarcastic asshole for five minutes?” Kurt demanded, slapping Sebastian’s arm. The corners of his lips were twitching, like he was fighting a smile, negating the supposed annoyance in his tone.

“Probably.”

“Okay, yeah, obviously Kurt said no,” Finn interrupted. “But like, what actually happened? Aside from Sebastian breaking Blaine’s nose, obviously.” Sam smirked, raising a hand in the air, and Sebastian high fived him unironically. Of course Sam would be happy; he had wanted to punch Blaine, himself. 

“You broke his nose? What if he decides to push it? Press charges or something?” Jeff sounded like he was genuinely concerned, a frown taking over his features. “We could say it was self-defense.”

“No, you couldn’t, because you weren’t there, and if he did try to press charges, you could be held in contempt of court for offering a false witness statement. I could also be accused of witness tampering for coercing you to lie. My dad is an attorney, I know how this works, and I don’t need any of you lying for me. I don’t think Blaine has the balls to press charges against me, but I’ll handle it if he does.” 

Kurt was gazing at him, his expression unreadable. “Sometimes I forget how smart you are.”

“Thanks?” Sebastian wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be complimented or offended. “Either way, I’m not worried. And the rest of what happened after Kurt told him to go fuck himself is personal, so you’re not getting any details about that.”

The waitress came by their table to take their orders, and they lapsed back into easy conversation after that. Sebastian tried to pretend he couldn’t feel Finn’s eyes on him and Kurt as they talked, but it wasn’t really working, and he finally raised an eyebrow, questioning. Finn just shrugged, his gaze turning to Kurt for a moment. 

“You seem happier, Kurt,” he noted after a moment, and Kurt trailed off in the middle of whatever he’d been saying to Jeff about what it was like to work for Vogue. His eyes were questioning, but he simply nodded, instead of voicing the question.

“I feel happier,” he replied quietly. 

“Good,” Finn responded, grinning. 

Sebastian sipped from his drink, eyes flickering between them. He was an only child. He didn’t know what it was like to have a brother. Until very recently, he didn’t really know what it meant to have someone care about him who wasn’t his mother. He hadn’t had friends, by his own choice, because it was easier to never be heartbroken if you pretended you didn’t have a heart in the first place. Kurt was surrounded by people who cared for him-- Jeff and Nick, Sam, Finn, Santana. Even Rachel, in her own deluded way. He was starting to get a little bit of how that felt, given that he could call some of those people his friends now, too, no matter how annoyingly persistent and irritating he sometimes found them, but he didn’t know if he’d ever understand the bond Kurt and Finn had. 

He was glad, though, for the people who cared about Kurt. Maybe he only had friends because he cared about Kurt, too, but he was glad for their loyalty to him. He was glad there were people who were willing to fight for and defend him. He was glad that Kurt wasn’t fighting this battle against every bad thing happening in his life alone. Kurt was tough enough to handle most things alone, but Sebastian was glad that he didn’t have to. 

“Are you happy, Sebastian?” 

Sebastian looked up at Finn, meeting his gaze, startled from his own thoughts. It felt like a loaded question, though Sebastian didn’t have to think about the answer. “Yeah, I’m happy,” he replied. 

“You’re not used to people asking you that, are you?” Sam noted, and Sebastian grimaced. Sam wasn’t supposed to be observant, he was supposed to be dimwitted and cheerful, like an overly eager, if somewhat unintelligent golden retriever. 

“I don’t know if you know this about me, it’s a pretty well kept secret, very few have ever been let in on, but I’m kind of an asshole,” Sebastian said, leaning in like he was letting them in on some big secret. “Until very recently, no, I didn’t have anyone who cared if I was happy or not, especially considering I did a pretty good impression of someone who was happy, whether I was or wasn’t. Don’t ask, I’m not about to spill my guts to you guys. Let’s just say it wasn’t always easy and leave it at that. I’m still getting used to the caring thing. On both sides. It was easy to not care before.” 

Kurt reached out to cover Sebastian’s hand with his own, and Sebastian turned his hand palm up to lace their fingers together. Once upon a time, public displays of affection may have made him balk, but this was such a simple thing. It was almost a comfort, that Kurt could take his hand and put it on display that they were together, that of all people, Sebastian was the one he chose to be with. Sebastian wasn’t sure he deserved all of that; he squeezed Kurt’s hand a little tighter. He was choosing Kurt, too. 

“You really have changed,” Finn stated simply into the following silence, and Sebastian shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Maybe I just stopped putting on such an act. Don’t get it twisted. I still think that this place is an embarrassment of a fancy restaurant after spending a year in Paris, Lima is boring, you kind of dance like you’re being tazed, Jeff and Nick make me physically sick when I have to watch them be a couple for longer than two seconds, and Sam does a better impression of a yellow lab puppy than an actual person, but now I can say all of those things with affection instead of malice.” 

Kurt was the first to respond, slapping Sebastian’s shoulder harshly. “Sebastian!”

“You can’t honestly say you’re surprised.”

Taking Sebastian off guard, Finn laughed. Sam, Jeff, and Nick didn’t even look like they were all that offended, and Sebastian was glad for it. “You’re not any worse than Santana, honestly, so I guess I’ll get used to it. And it turns out I’m probably going to need a new lead vocalist for Nationals, so maybe Kurt could talk you into transferring to McKinley, too and you can replace Blaine.” He grinned brightly.

Sebastian snorted out a stunned laugh. The offer was one hundred percent not serious; he was just surprised that Finn was actually joking with him. “You couldn’t pay me enough to transfer to a public school, Chuckles. Sorry. Really looking forward to seeing how that all plays out for you, though.”

As collective laughter spread over their table again, Sebastian felt himself relax. He hadn’t been worried about it, but knowing that at least Finn was giving him a chance, and they were maybe even on somewhat even footing where they were starting put something in his mind at ease. All in all, dinner wasn’t going to be so bad. It was a nice change, Sebastian realized, to feel accepted as himself, instead of for whatever mask it was he put up. He hadn’t realized how lonely his life had been until it wasn’t lonely anymore, and the feeling of it terrified him. But he figured maybe being scared of it was how he knew it was all real, and he was going to do his best to not fuck it up. 

He sat there and talked and laughed with his boyfriend and his friends, and he let more of that mask slip away, and for once, he didn’t feel the need to put it back up. And he figured that maybe that was a good thing-- maybe, that was considered healing. 


	18. Chapter 18

“Sebastian Smythe, you’re needed in Headmaster Phillip’s office.” 

Sebastian looked up from the History book, eyes narrowed. He hadn’t really been paying attention to the lesson, anyway, thinking about the weekend before Kurt had flown back to New York. They’d spent most of it together, except Saturday evening, which had been reserved for dinner with his family. They’d had breakfast Sunday, Sebastian had taken Kurt to the airport, and they’d kissed before he flew away, reminiscent of the week before. It had been a good weekend, one that made him feel like he was really doing something right in this relationship. Something that he had thought was all together impossible. The look on the secretary’s face warned him that this wasn’t about to be a good day.

“Why?” Sebastian frowned, slowly closing his history book as his professor fell silent. The secretary didn’t answer, and Sebastian glanced at Jeff, who shrugged helplessly. Behind him, Trent fixed Sebastian with a glare, jaw set. Sebastian started, confused and a little startled. He knew that he and Trent weren't exactly friends, but what had he done to deserve that?

Frowning more deeply, Sebastian tucked his history book into his bag and stood up, following the secretary from the room. They walked down the hallway in silence, and Sebastian’s confusion only grew. He had never been called into the headmaster’s office, not in two years of class at Dalton, and he’d certainly done some shit that would warrant it, like breaking curfew almost every night since he’d started. 

“I don’t understand,” Sebastian tried again as they stopped at the door to the headmaster’s office. “What’s going on?”

“Go on in. Headmaster Phillips will explain.” 

Sebastian hesitated with a hand on the handle of the door. He didn’t like the way this made him feel, and he didn’t want to open the door. Finally, he twisted the door handle and pushed it open, stepping inside. Inside the room, he was greeted by Headmaster Phillips and his own father, sitting at the desk. Beaumont Smythe’s eyes were cold and flat, virtually unreadable. Not an unfamiliar expression, but in this context, it felt more like ice plunged into his veins than it usually did. 

“Dad. Headmaster Phillips. What’s going on here?” Sebastian asked, fingers tightening around the strap of his bag. The headmaster motioned to the empty chair at the desk, and slowly, Sebastian lowered himself into it. No one was talking, no one was explaining to him what was happening, why he was no longer in his class, and a thread of panic was inching up his spine. It felt suffocating, like that thread had curled around his throat and was slowly tightening, until he was struggling to breathe. If his dad was here, there was no chance at all that this was going to be good news. 

“Sebastian, we received some news that you physically assaulted a former student a couple of days ago,” Headmaster Phillips finally said, and Sebastian felt like he was falling over an invisible edge and plunging into an abyss below.

“That isn’t what happened,” Sebastian said into the silence that followed, shaking his head. “That’s not what happened at all. He had been giving me trouble for weeks, doing things that weren't okay, and I finally defended myself against him because I was angry and he pushed me to a breaking point--”

“Blaine Anderson is still a highly respected person at this school, Sebastian,” the headmaster interrupted, raising an eyebrow at Sebastian’s attempt at an explanation. One that he clearly did not believe. 

“Blaine Anderson doesn’t go to this school anymore, and I think I should have a chance to explain my side of the story.” He was floundering, though, and he knew it. His side of the story didn’t matter; he’d initiated the violence. It didn’t matter if Blaine had hit back, he had started it. That was all that would matter. And his father, especially, would not care  _ why _ Sebastian had initiated any level of physical violence against Blaine Anderson, and he would probably happily take Blaine’s side if Sebastian mentioned it was about something overwhelmingly homosexual.

“Did you or did you not punch him?” the headmaster pressed, and Sebastian was silent for a long moment. 

He wasn’t sure how to answer this. He wasn’t sure that he even could. “Did he mention that he did not fail to punch me?” This was absolutely not a denial, but he wasn’t going to lie about a situation they apparently already knew too many details of. 

“And last year,” Headmaster Phillips continued, as if Sebastian hadn’t spoken, “you assaulted Blaine Anderson with a slushie that was confirmed to have--” He consulted the sheet of paper in front of him, and Sebastian determined that it was a file. They had a file on him. He blinked, stunned, and leaned against the back of his chair heavily. He hadn’t done anything worthy of a file. Not here. “Rock salt,” Headmaster Phillips finished, setting the paper back down on the desk. 

Except for _that_. 

“I don’t-- That was a stupid prank that got out of hand, it was handled last year. Why is it being brought up now?” 

It took Sebastian a second to realize he was on the edge of a panic attack. It felt like someone had pushed his lungs into a vice, and they were slowly tightening that vice. His heart was stuttering against his ribcage, doing a very good impression of a jackhammer tearing open concrete. He blinked several times, rapidly, because no. No. He wasn’t going to cry here. He couldn’t cry in front of his father. 

“Your father handled it, it was not a handled situation. You learned nothing from it because you served no punishment for it,” the headmaster countered, motioning to Beaumont, who sat in stony silence, unmoving in the second chair. “And because he handled it, it’s not going on your permanent record. And because your father is handling this, it also is not going on your permanent record.” Sebastian held his breath. It felt like there was a but. It wasn’t that easy. There had to be a but. “But,” he continued, and Sebastian hissed that breath out sharply. “You are being transferred to McKinley High School.” 

For a moment, Sebastian’s world spun so quickly that he couldn’t focus on any one thing. Colors bled together, and he couldn’t pick out any individual details. And then, all at once, it stopped, leaving him feeling disoriented and cold, like he’d stepped out into a snowstorm in the middle of July. His mind couldn’t process everything all at once. He didn’t know what was happening. 

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, scoffing. Waiting for the punch. 

Only the punch wasn’t coming. His father’s stony silence, the file, and the headmaster’s grim expression and icy gaze… No, the punch wasn’t coming. Sebastian wasn’t being expelled from Dalton Academy, but this was damn near the same thing. Sebastian hated public school, and he especially could not stand McKinley High School and Blaine Anderson there, every day, without a reprieve. 

“You will not have an expulsion on your permanent record, but Dalton Academy has a very strict no bullying policy, and you have managed to skirt it because of your grades and your abilities in your extracurriculars. The intention is not to ruin your chances for a college, so your credits will be transferred to McKinley, and you will graduate there as you would here.”

“Take it for what it is, Sebastian,” Beaumont said firmly, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. His anger was barely controlled, sans the tremor that changed the pitch as he spoke. He was so mad that Sebastian could practically feel it. 

“This is insane!” Sebastian protested, fingers curling over the arms of the chair that he was in. His fingers hurt, but if he let go, he was going to lose any control over the emotions he had warring around inside of him. Everything was too much, it was all too much, and his body was overwhelmingly stiff. It was a direct contrast to how fast his mind was moving, his body not moving at all. “Blaine Anderson doesn’t even go to school here, and you have no proof of what actually happened-- you don’t even have my side of things and you’re transferring me out of Dalton? I graduate in three months, you can’t do this!”

“It’s already been done, Sebastian,” Headmaster Phillips responded with an air of finality, and Sebastian tensed even further. How was he not even allowed to talk about this? “Be happy that you’ll get to graduate at all; no reasoning you can offer would make physically assaulting anybody okay. You are dismissed.”

And just like that, the conversation was over. Sebastian was given no choice in the matter, he was not able to provide his side of the argument. Not that it would do anything, either way. His side didn’t matter. Blaine Anderson had told his side of the story, charming and manipulative, and syrupy sweet, painting himself as a perfect victim. As far as Sebastian knew, Dalton also had a no tolerance sexual harassment policy, and Blaine had gotten away with sexually harassing Kurt. As soon as the door of the office shut behind them, Sebastian turned to his father. 

“Dad, I--”

“No, Sebastian.” Beaumont’s voice was sharp and deceivingly calm, like the devastating peace of the ocean right before the hurricane hit. “I have bailed you out of more trouble than I should have to. I did not raise you to be a delinquent child with no care for his future, but you seem intent to ruin it.” 

“You barely raised me at all!” Sebastian snapped back, his anger at his father mixing with his panic over the situation and boiling over, and suddenly he was exploding. “You don’t even know me! I work my ass off to keep my grades where you want them, and you don’t recognize that. I play lacrosse, I am a star performer in an elite show choir--”

“A show choir that had to use steroids to win,” Beaumont pointed out, sounding entirely bored and unimpressed. That was who Sebastian had learned it from. How nothing was ever good enough. How to be unimpressed with perfection, and how to scoff at anything that was less. How to never be satisfied, no matter what you were handed. How to show nothing, even when you were showing everything. He’d learned it all at his father’s hand, and he hated his father even more for it. 

“I didn’t take them, Dad,” Sebastian bit out, thin and cool. “I didn’t have to because I am good at what I do. You would know that if you had ever made time to come to a single one of my games, or my shows, but god forbid I’m not going to be a fucking lawyer. News flash,  _ Dad _ , you can ignore me and act like I don’t exist as often as damn well please. I am still going to be gay, I’m still going to be out and proud, performing and going to college and living with  _ my boyfriend _ ,  __ and I’m never going to be a lawyer. I’m done trying to impress you!”

Beaumont didn’t respond. Sebastian felt like his world was spiraling, picking up speed and spinning, circling around him with all the force of a tornado, and absolutely nothing showed on Beaumont’s face. Sebastian stared his father down, daring him to say something. Anything. And still, nothing showed. There was nothing but a cold mask of indifference. 

“You had better find a place to stay until you graduate. Dalton Academy only boards students, and you are not welcomed into my home.”

Everything collapsed around Sebastian, silence echoing deafeningly around him and ringing through his ears. And, either unknowing or uncaring to what his son was feeling, Beaumont Smythe walked away, his footsteps echoing down Dalton Academy’s immaculate hallways. Sebastian was trembling. 

He couldn’t pick a dominant emotion. He was afraid. He was angry. He was panicking. It was all mixing together, overwhelming and shattering him from within. He felt like nothing in his world was real anymore, but at the same time, the reality of it all was so breakingly overbearing. There was a tremor in his fingers that ran up his spine, and his throat felt constrained, like he was being choked. Fire burned behind his eyes, and he blinked fiercely to fight back the tears. 

He was  _ not _ going to cry here. 

Sebastian stormed back to his dorm room-- not his dorm room anymore. He didn’t have a home anymore. He didn’t even know where he was supposed to go. He needed to call his mother; there was no way she had agreed to this, but dialing her number took him straight to voicemail. When the recorded message cut off, Sebastian hung up without leaving a message. He felt more alone than he ever had. He could call Kurt, but Kurt had already gone back to New York, and Sebastian knew there was nothing he could do. 

And the thought of talking to Kurt when he felt how he felt made him feel like he was about to puke. Bile rose in his throat, and he forced it back, blinking down at the blurred screen of his cell phone. He pressed a call button on a number and hoped that one thing would go right for him, and this call would not go unanswered. 

“Sebastian? Hey, you never call me, man. What’s up?” 

“I didn’t know who else to call,” Sebastian began, swallowing heavily. It was almost like trying to swallow down a spoonful of peanut butter, making him feel like his throat was sealing itself together. “Sam, I really need your help.”


	19. Chapter 19

Two hours later, Sebastian found himself sitting on the Hudson-Hummel couch with Finn and Sam, who had cut the rest of his classes for the day at Sebastian’s call. Something Sebastian would have to dive into later, because he had never had a friend willing to drop everything because Sebastian needed them. He’d never had real friends before, but he didn’t think most did things like that, either way. Finn had made coffee as soon as Sebastian had arrived, and now they were all sitting, processing what Sebastian had told them. 

“He got you expelled?” Sam demanded, sounding absolutely furious. “I’m going to fucking murder that little prick.” And he sounded like he actually meant it.

“No, he didn’t get me expelled,” Sebastian argued, grabbing Sam’s arm to stop him from jerking off of the couch and storming right out the door to do exactly that. “Sit down. I want to kill him, too, but that’s sort of why I’m in this mess. I’m not expelled, I’m being transferred to McKinley to finish out my senior year. I can’t stay at Dalton because I’ve broken the zero tolerance bullying policy.” 

“Okay,” Finn replied. “Okay, so you transfer to McKinley, join the New Directions, help us win a National championship, and rub it in his face. You still graduate, you still get into whatever college you want, probably, and you still have Kurt. It's not ideal, and yeah, it sucks that you can't finish school at Dalton, but it's not the worst that it could be. What does he get out of it?”

“That’s not-- I don’t even want to go to McKinley, I fucking hate public schools, but I can handle that part. I’ll graduate in three months, but I can’t--” Sebastian took a deep breath, steadying the tremor in his fingers by tightening his grip on the coffee cup he was still holding. He’d only taken a single drink of it, and then felt more like he was going to throw up than he already had. “Dalton only boards students enrolled in their school, and I’m not now. And my dad kicked me out.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“You’re homeless?”

Finn and Sam spoke at the same time, and Sebastian couldn’t tell who sounded more upset. Sam’s anger had flattened out to stunned silence. Finn just frowned, his brow furrowed, like he couldn’t quite understand what was happening. And for once, Sebastian couldn’t blame him;  _ he _ didn’t understand what was happening anymore.

“Yeah,” he finally muttered. “I guess I am. I can’t get a hold of my mom, I can’t go home because my dad won’t let me, and I can’t board at Dalton anymore. So now, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” His panic and fear and anger and hopelessness all seeped into his tone at once, and his voice cracked. He dropped his head into his palms, exhaling heavily. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Sam, given that Sam was sitting on his left. The hand squeezed, and Sebastian exhaled another shaky breath. The tears that escaped into his palms were ones that he couldn’t fight, but at least they couldn’t see them. He didn’t have the strength to pretend he was not bothered anymore. He wanted to go  _ home _ . No, he wanted to go back to Dalton. 

And even as he thought that, he realized it wasn’t true. All he wanted in this moment was to be in New York, with Kurt. He hadn’t even called Kurt yet, and he knew that he needed to, sooner rather than later. All he wanted was his boyfriend, an overwhelming longing filling his heart and mixing with every other goddamn thing he was feeling. It was all too much. 

“Sebastian,” Sam began carefully, sounding as if he was talking to a wounded child. “You’re not doing things alone. Not anymore, alright? When you come to McKinley, you’ll have me and Finn in your corner, and…”

“And I’m gonna talk to my mom and Burt,” Finn continued, and Sebastian looked up, wiping his eyes with a frown. “Kurt’s bedroom is still empty, there’s still a bed there, you could stay here. I know it’s not optimal, but if I tell them that there’s stuff happening, this kinda stuff, they’ll let you stay. They let Sam stay because he didn't have anywhere to stay here in Lima, and I know they'll let you stay, too.” 

Sebastian stared at him, silent. Unsure what to say. Not often was Sebastian left completely speechless. “I can’t--”

“Yeah,” Finn cut in. “You can. You’re our friend, too, dude. You need a place to stay, and we’re offering it.” 

Sebastian shook his head abruptly. “I have to talk to Kurt.” Suddenly and all at once, he _needed_ nothing more than to talk to his boyfriend. Everything was spiraling out of his control, and Kurt was one thing, one thing he was sure would be a constant, something steady. He needed that, needed something to lean on now more than he ever had before. Even when he’d left for Paris and had no one after that terrible relationship ended, he had never felt so much like he needed someone. 

“Sure, man,” Finn replied, and Sam squeezed Sebastian’s shoulder gently. “Take all the time you need. I’m gonna go call Burt.” They stood up and disappeared into the hallway, leaving Sebastian sitting alone on the couch. He fumbled for his phone and opened Skype, pressing the call button on Kurt’s contact. He hoped Kurt would answer, given that they hadn’t planned for a Skype call tonight. 

After three rings, the call was accepted, and Kurt’s face filled the frame. Sebastian exhaled a heavy sigh of relief and overbearing sadness. “Kurt,” he whispered, and even to his own ears, his voice sounded broken. He hoped it didn’t come through, given the audio distortion, but if he knew Kurt at all, Kurt could see right through him. 

“Sebastian?” Kurt sounded worried, though not upset about the call. “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you.” His brow furrowed, and he tilted his head slightly, a frown turning down his lips. “What’s wrong? You look…”

“Like hell, I’m sure,” Sebastian finished. “It’s been a day. And I’m sorry to call you unexpectedly when we weren’t planning to talk tonight, but I missed you. I really, really miss you.”

Kurt was quiet for a moment, and then he smiled, though it was faint. “I miss you, too. You never have to apologize for calling me. What happened, Bas? You look like you’re about to cry.”

Sebastian swallowed, wiping away the one stray tear that managed to escape despite his attempt to hold it all back. He hadn’t cried since he was a child; his father had made sure he had stopped that. Crying was a weakness. “Um. Blaine went to the Dalton Academy headmaster and told him that I physically assaulted him. I’ve been transferred out of Dalton to finish my senior year at McKinley.”

“Sebastian, I--”

“But then,” Sebastian cut in before Kurt could interrupt, because if he didn’t say this all right now, he wasn’t going to be able to get any of it out, “my dad told me that I, um. I’ve been pretty much nothing but a problem, and he kicked me out of the house. So your brother is talking to your dad about me staying here because I’m virtually homeless.”

Kurt’s lips were parted, and for a moment, he looked speechless. “My dad will let you stay, of course, he’s really very open to people who need help, that’s why Sam lives there, but… Sebastian, I’m really sorry that that happened to you. Is there anything I can do to help you? I know I’m in New York--”

Sebastian shook his head, his eyes closing for a moment. He couldn’t handle the way Kurt looked so hopelessly earnest, like he wanted nothing more than to be able to help, though he couldn’t, as far away as he was. “I got here, and all I could think was that I just wanted to talk to you. If I didn’t have you, I would be more alone than I’ve ever been because Sam and Finn would not be giving me a chance right now. And now I’m just holding on for those last three months until I can be with you in New York and all of this is behind me and feels like nothing more than a bad dream. I don’t think I’m going to make it there this weekend, though.”

Kurt laughed helplessly, wiping a finger under his eye to catch a stray tear. “I understand. We’ll just Skype, instead, okay? And I want you to know that you’re the reason I don’t feel alone, too. When Blaine and I broke up, I felt like I didn’t have anyone, and even before we were together, you were there. You didn’t have to be, I didn’t expect you to be, but you helped me a lot more than you know. And things will be okay. You believe that, right?” 

Sebastian nodded slowly, his eyes on Kurt’s through the screen. “I believe it.”

Kurt smiled, though it was tentative. He looked like he wasn’t quite sure he believed it. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft, but genuine. 

Something inside of Sebastian twisted, and a knot of hurt and anger and pain that he hadn’t acknowledged for all the years that it had been there started to unravel. Having someone genuinely  _ care _ how he was feeling, if he was feeling okay… He hadn’t been aware how much he needed it. Not just Kurt, but Finn and Sam, giving so much to help him, and Nick and Jeff, who had stood in his corner and were likely the only Warblers who still would even now that he wasn’t there. 

“No,” Sebastian answered honestly, and he stopped holding back the emotions in his heart. Losing Dalton was one thing, and losing his home was another, but it had all been a long time coming. He hadn’t fit in at Dalton, he had never given himself a chance to, holding himself superior to everyone else. And his father had been searching for a reason since Sebastian had come out to get rid of him. Even before that, really. He had never wanted a son. He had never wanted any of it. “No, I’m not, but I’m gonna be.”

“You deserve to be,” Kurt murmured. 

“I don’t know about that.” 

“I do.” Kurt laughed softly, shaking his head. “You’ve done bad things, Sebastian, you’re not a bad person.”

“Thanks, princess,” Sebastian replied quietly. And nothing was really  _ better _ than it had been before the call, but it felt better. It felt a little lighter, a little easier. Things weren’t okay, but maybe they were going to be. 

“Sebastian?” This was Finn, and Sebastian glanced up from his phone to look at him as he stood in the doorway. “Hey, Kurt,” Finn added, waving to Kurt on Sebastian’s phone, and Kurt waved back at his brother with a slight smile. “Uh, I talked to Burt, and he wants to talk to you personally, but he doesn’t think there’s any problem with you staying here until graduation. Sam and I will come with you, if you want, to pack up some stuff.”

“I’ll just have Nick and Jeff help me when I go back,” Sebastian responded. “Thanks, Finn. And tell Burt thank you, too.” 

“No problem, dude.” He glanced at Sebastian for another long moment, and then he glanced at Kurt on the phone screen, before turning to head back out into the hallway, leaving them alone. 

“Not exactly how I pictured you meeting my dad,” Kurt said after a second, shrugging a shoulder. “But it does take some of the awkwardness of the whole thing when I’m not there for him to embarrass me .”

Sebastian laughed. “Well, at least you won’t have to deal with that on my side. I’m sure your dad is great.”

“He’s not an attorney, but he’s… He does his best. He’s why I am the way I am. I could have been worse if he hadn’t been the one that was raising me.”

“You could have been like me,” Sebastian muttered.

“I could have been a lot worse.”

Sebastian nodded. Yeah. They both could have. Sebastian had met worse, he knew worse. Hell, at this point, without Kurt or the other people doing their best to help him, Sebastian could have turned out a lot worse, too. It made him even more appreciative that he had anyone who actually helped him to be better than he was. He could have been worse. He could still be worse, and so he was aspiring to be better. 

“Bas, I have to go,” Kurt said quietly, cutting into Sebastian’s thoughts, and Sebastian looked at his phone screen again. His boyfriend looked like he’d rather not, but Sebastian was aware of how hectic and busy his schedule was, and he knew that he couldn’t keep him. “Text me, and call me if you need anything. And tell me how your first day at McKinley goes, okay? If Blaine tries anything--” 

“Kurt, I’ll be okay,” Sebastian smiled. “Thank you. I can handle Blaine. Just focus on New York and Vogue, and I’ll text you later.”

“Okay.”

With another quiet goodbye, Sebastian ended the call, aware of Sam now lingering in the doorway watching him, Finn just behind his shoulder. “Is it going to be like this living with you two? Always looking over my shoulder?”

“Worse, probably,” Sam admitted, moving to sit down on the living room couch. Sebastian scoffed, attempting to hold back a grin. “Are you okay?”

He asked the question the same way Kurt did, quiet and genuine. Worry colored his tone, brought his brows together. He wanted the answer, the honest answer, not just fake happiness so everyone could pretend the world was perfect. Sebastian was pretty sure he could see what Kurt had once seen in Sam. He cared, and sometimes, being a genuinely nice person was all anyone needed to be. 

“No, I’m not,” Sebastian answered honestly. “But I will be.” And he would be. All he needed was a little time. 


	20. Chapter 20

Burt Hummel was a terrifying man, was the first thought that Sebastian had about him. Nice enough, he was sure, but intimidating. And even as intimidating as he looked, when he sat across the kitchen table from Sebastian, he had the same kindness in his eyes that Kurt did. Like father, like son, Sebastian supposed. He gripped onto his coffee mug hard, fingers curled around it like it was a shield. 

“So you’re the same Sebastian who damn near blinded Blaine and made those pictures of Finn,” Burt began, and Sebastian exhaled slowly. That was not a question.

“Yeah. That’s me.” What would the point be in lying? Sebastian was sure he had already heard the stories from Kurt, given that he wasn’t asking, and lying would only make it all look worse. “I did some pretty bad things last year, and Kurt really hated me. For good reason. But I have grown past that, and learned from my mistakes, and… ”

“And he’s a friend now, Burt,” Finn interjected. “A friend who needs a place to stay. Well, he’s--”

“Kurt’s boyfriend,” Burt interrupted. “Yeah, I kinda got that. You think Kurt would let anyone he wasn’t dating stay in his room without him? Come on, I’m not dumb, I know my kid.” Sebastian glanced at Finn, whose lips were parted slightly in confusion and surprise.

“Uh… yeah,” Sebastian finally said into the silence, rubbing his thumb over the rim of the coffee mug. “I am also that. Kurt and I started to be friends when he broke up with Blaine, and he decided to give me a chance despite my past after we had become friends. It’s my first… decent experience with relationships.” 

Burt didn’t say anything for a long while, looking at Sebastian like he was trying to read through him. It was the same way Kurt looked at him sometimes, like he wanted to see beyond his smile and his eyes, and into his soul. This was evidently who Kurt had gotten that from, and it made Sebastian uncomfortable. His father had never bothered to even look at the mask, let alone trying to see past it. 

“Burt,” Finn began, sitting down at the table and leaning forward slightly to make his point, “I had a lot of the same reservations about it when I found out. I thought Sebastian was an asshole who would never change--” At this, Sebastian snorted slightly, fighting back a smirk. “-- But now… I think Sebastian really cares about Kurt and I know Kurt really cares about him, and I don’t think either of those things would be true if Sebastian hadn’t gotten better. And I know you thought Blaine was some perfect prince for Kurt, because I did, too, but I know better now. A lot of us know better now. Ask Kurt why they broke up, and ask him about all the other things he hasn’t told you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s not for me to tell.”

Sebastian looked between them for a moment, brows furrowed. He could see the bond here, between these two, even though Burt hadn’t been the one whose sperm had created Finn. This was how a father and son interacted, capable of talking and being honest with each other. It seemed that Burt had the same bond with Kurt, too. He hoped he would get to see the two of them interact soon.

“Alright,” Burt finally sighed. “Alright, but there are a few rules to staying in this house, Sebastian. Sam follows them, and you’re going to, too. We have a curfew on school nights. Midnight. Be home, so we know you’re safe.” Sebastian nodded slightly. He hadn’t listened to the curfew at Dalton, but he was going to try here. “Rule two, we have family dinner Friday nights. You live here, you’re part of the family. So you make yourself available Friday nights. Understood?”

Sebastian opened his mouth to respond, and then closed it again. Part of the family. High praise, considering how little Burt really knew him. And he had never really felt like part of anyone’s family before, even his own. He and his mom got along pretty well most of the time, but they weren’t close. Not the way that Kurt and his family seemed to be. He almost wanted to deny this-- being part of the family was almost guaranteed to be a problem. But he extended a hand and nodded. 

“Yes, sir.”

Burt reached across the table and took Sebastian’s hand, rough from years of working with cars. His grip was firm, and he held on for a moment before letting go. “Alright, kid. Go on and get your stuff. We’ll help you unpack when you get back. Is that your Mustang in the driveway?”

“It was a gift from my dad when I was sixteen. I think he hoped a nice car would keep me in the closet,” Sebastian replied, and something unreadable flashed across Burt’s face. “He did a lot of things like that, he never wanted a son. Let alone a gay one.” Sebastian stood from the table and finished the coffee in the mug. “I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

Burt nodded, silent, and Sebastian turned to walk away, out of the house. As stated, his Mustang was sitting in the driveway of the Hudson-Hummel home, and he pulled his keys from his pocket to unlock it. Before he could even slide into the seat, Finn and Sam jogged out the front door and stopped at the car. 

“We’re coming with you, dude,” Sam said, voice firm. “No argument, it’ll stop any of the Warblers who are still loyal to Blaine from starting shit with you. Besides, road trips are fun.” 

“It’s a two hour drive to Dalton, that’s not a road trip,” Sebastian countered.

“We’re coming with you, anyway,” Finn shrugged, sliding into the passenger’s seat. Sam smirked and climbed into the back, and, realizing that he wasn’t going to win this if he really pushed it, Sebastian got into the driver’s seat and started the car. He was just going to have to get used to Finn and Sam being around, considering they were apparently part of the package of dating Kurt. Had they been part of the package for Blaine, too? 

“I didn’t think you’d stand up for me to Burt,” Sebastian said as he started the car and backed out of the driveway. He grabbed the aux cord from where it curled in the center console and passed it back to Sam to plug his phone in. 

Finn shrugged. “Yeah, I mean… I didn’t either, at first. But the way you look at Kurt when you talk to him, it’s like… It’s like you forget that you’re wearing a mask for everyone else. You smile, something softens in you, and I watched that mask just kind of dissolve. And I think that the reason for it is that you really care about him, enough that you don’t feel like you have to keep that mask up.”

Sebastian was quiet for a moment, grateful for the music Sam started playing so they weren’t plunged into silence. “I told Sam when he confronted me about kissing Kurt that I knew I liked Kurt because I like that I can make him laugh. I like being the reason that he does. It feels so stupid that it was something like that, but…”

“No, it doesn’t,” Finn countered quietly. “I fell in love with Rachel because of the way she laughed when she was laughing with me. Something that was real, and genuine, and perfect, and it was reserved for me. And I knew that I was in love with her, and that I’d do anything to keep her laughing like that. And then… she wasn’t laughing, and things ended, and now it feels like one of my lungs was cut out. I can still breathe, and I’ll survive, but there’s always an ache there. So if you… if you love Kurt--”

“It’s a little soon for that,” Sebastian interrupted, fingers curling tighter around the steering wheel. He was entirely new to relationships, it was a little soon to be talking about falling in love. The anxious feeling that even the thought of it gave him was enough to have him wanting to jerk the steering wheel and drive right off the road. Love was sort of a lot, love sounded more serious, and love was something he was almost garaunteed to fuck up.

“Right, yeah. I get that. But if this is something you’re serious about… I know Kurt, dude. He’s bitchy and petty and one of the biggest drama queens I’ve ever met.” From the backseat, Sam snorted. “He doesn’t communicate, and he takes things personally. But he’s loyal and kind, and if he cares about you, he cares about you. So just, you know… if this is something you’re serious about, don’t give up in the hard moments. Because I see how happy you look when you talk to him, and I see how happy he looks when he talks to you. He wears his heart on his sleeve. And you’re so different with him than you were when I met you.”

Sebastian pulled the car onto the exit out of Lima, headed towards Westerville. “You know I’m sorry for those pictures, right? I don’t know if I told you that last year. I destroyed the pictures, but I don’t think I apologized.” It felt like the least he could offer, given that Finn was fully giving his approval in his relationship with Kurt and offering him advice on it. Just saying thank you for it didn’t sound like enough.

“I know you are.” 

Sebastian smiled thinly. A lot of forgiveness for things he wasn’t sure he deserved forgiveness for, really, he wasn’t sure how to process it all. It felt as much like closure on that chapter of his life as sitting with David at Scandals had. He was officially ready to move on with his life, closing each and every chapter of last year and moving on to the next page. “Cool. Sam, you want to find a song for me to audition for New Directions with?”

Sam beamed, scrolling through his phone to throw out song suggestions. The rest of the drive passed with relative ease, but when Sebastian parked his car in Dalton Academy’s parking lot, he felt that unease slip back into his system, trickling through his veins. Already, this place didn’t feel like it was his home anymore. The thought of walking back in felt cold and foreboding, and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He was mentally unprepared for this.

“Hey, we got this,” Sam said quietly, leaning forward between the passenger and driver’s seat and squeezing Sebastian’s shoulder tightly. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Grateful for their presence, Sebastian got out of the car and headed for the door, where he was almost immediately ambushed by Nick and Jeff, both of whom looked confused and angry. “Why are we being told by Trent that you don’t go to school here anymore?” Nick demanded, trailing Sebastian into the building. 

“Because I don’t go to school here anymore,” Sebastian replied. “Courtesy of Blaine Anderson.” He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, footsteps echoing down the hallway of the school. His dorm room was on the other side of the building, and he pretended he didn’t feel the eyes that found them as they walked through the school. News of his transfer out had already spread.

“I swear I’m going to break his fucking nose if I ever see him,” Nick threatened, practically seething. “How fucking dare he--”

“Hey.” Sebastian stopped walking and grabbed both of Nick’s shoulders, forcing him to a stop. “I already broke his nose, that’s why I don’t go to school here anymore. As much as I think Blaine Anderson is a pathetic parody of a cheesy Disney villain with all the emotional complexity of a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll, I also think that he’s not worth your time, because he’s apparently very good at charming people until he gets his way.”

“I just can’t believe you’re leaving,” Jeff murmured, wiping his eyes, and Sebastian’s brows furrowed. 

“I didn’t think you were pitiful enough to cry over something so dumb,” he replied, raising an eyebrow. “Come on, I was actually starting to genuinely like you, don’t ruin it by being an emotional wreck right now.” 

“Shut up,” Jeff muttered, slapping at Sebastian’s arm, and Sebastian smirked. “I’m going to miss you, that’s all.” 

“I don’t know why you would,” Sebastian responded, and then suddenly, Jeff was dragging Sebastian into a tight hug. Slowly, Sebastian raised an arm to hug him back. “I’m going to miss you guys, too,” he admitted after a second. “Come on, help me pack up.”

All five of them continued down the hallway towards Sebastian’s former dorm room, and he pushed the door open with a heavy sigh. As much as he felt like he had already moved past his place, as much as his heart was already in New York, miles and months away from this moment here, he couldn’t deny the lingering sadness of packing up his dorm room. They moved slowly, talking as they packed, and by the time Sebastian had all of his boxes packed into the trunk of his Mustang, he was looking at Dalton with a sense of acceptance. 

“Nationals are in LA this year,” Sebastian began, leaning against the trunk of his car and frowning in Nick and Jeff’s general direction. “If you guys can convince your parents to let you come, it’d be cool to have you there in my corner.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Jeff promised. “At least if we couldn’t make it, you could. Show Blaine Anderson what a real leader does at a show choir competition.” 

Sam elbowed Sebastian lightly, a smirk on his face. “You gotta make it to New Directions first.” 

“Yeah,” Finn snorted sarcastically. “That’ll be a problem. Come on, dude, we gotta head back, it’s getting late and it’s still a two hour drive. School in the morning, gotta be ready for that big audition, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m nervous,” Sebastian responded with a roll of his eyes. He offered both Nick and Jeff another hug, saying their goodbyes, and then he was back in his car, driving back towards Lima. Dalton Academy faded into the background behind him, left in his past with all of the memories there. It was time to start looking forward, to the future, to the next page, and that started with his audition for New Directions. 

And he was ready for it. More ready than he had ever been. 


	21. Chapter 21

Sebastian hated public school. He hated walking through the hallways, hated the way that it felt to have to adjust to sudden changes in classes. Some of these classes were behind where he had been at Dalton, but none of it was so abrupt that he thought he’d be unable to keep up with it. Just new people, people who watched him as he walked, people who whispered behind his back, and really unappealing cafeteria food. The lunch lady, however, seemed very nice, so he avoided saying anything to her face about how it didn't taste very good.

The New Directions met at the auditorium after school that day and Sebastian waited outside the auditorium door. He at least had the benefit of having performed on this stage once before, which made it somewhat less nerve wracking, but he would still be performing in front of a group of people, auditioning for them, when a fair few of them still hated his guts. To be fair, he wasn’t the biggest fan of a couple of them, either. 

“We have a potential member auditioning for us today,” Mr. Schuester began as Sebastian leaned in the doorway that led to the stage. They couldn’t see him yet, so they didn’t know that it was  _ him _ about to audition. He was surprised that Schuester himself had even let this happen, and he wondered how much say in this Finn and Sam really had. 

“Isn’t that a little unfair to the rest of us who have actually been trying and learning, practicing and performing all year?” an indignant voice demanded, and Sebastian was pretty sure that this was Tina, who probably still didn’t like him, if she was as close with Blaine as Sam seemed to think she was. He couldn’t disagree, though, if he hadn’t also been practicing all year, too. 

“Well, he’s been practicing and performing all year, too, so I don’t think it’s really all that unfair,” Schue replied carefully. “Give him a chance, guys, that’s what we do here. Why don’t you come on in?” Glancing at him, Schue motioned for Sebastian to join him on the stage and Sebastian walked out to stand with him. 

The reaction was instant. Artie and Tina’s protests were automatic, loud and echoing in the auditorium. The newer members who hadn’t competed with him during his problems with Blaine and Finn and Kurt looked conflicted, but not as though they were generally opposed to the idea of it, because all they knew of him was his performance with the Warblers at Sectionals, and his participation in Hunter stealing their Nationals trophy. And considering he hadn't been the mastermind behind that, they had no reason to hate him for it. Blaine looked absolutely furious. 

“What the  _ hell _ , Mr. Schue?” Blaine demanded, fingers clutching onto the arms of his seat. He looked like he was about to leap out of that chair and launch at Sebastian’s throat to claw it out, and Sebastian tilted his head. He couldn’t help but meet his gaze with a faint smirk on his face. “After everything Sebastian did? I had to have  _ surgery _ .”

“That slushie was meant for Kurt,” Sebastian cut in carefully, “who I’ve already apologized to. I apologized to you last year, too, if you’ll recall. It was a shitty prank that got out of control, and it was a mistake, and I’m sorry that it happened. But don’t you sit there and act like you’re some kind of angel.”

Blaine’s eyes turned cold, and if looks could kill, Sebastian would be dead. He did not flinch away from Blaine’s stare, meeting it evenly. 

“As much as I would love to see this fight happen,” Sam interrupted, pulling out of his chair and climbing up onto the stage to stand next to Sebastian, “you have to think rationally about it. You all saw Sebastian perform at Sectionals. He’s good. He can sing and he can dance, and honestly, we need someone who can pull off a kick ass dance number that isn’t just Jake. Sebastian can do that.”

“ _ Sebastian _ was using steroids during his Sectionals performance!” Blaine argued, jerking out of his seat so quickly that Sebastian was surprised he didn’t fall over. He was trembling with anger, but Sebastian found it hard to be intimidated. “That’s why the Warblers didn’t make it to Regionals and we did, or did you all forget that?"

“I could go into how you guys didn’t deserve to go to Regionals anyway because very few of you cared enough about one of your performers to make sure she was okay,” Sebastian replied coolly, and he noticed the way that performer in question looked away, guilty. She hadn't looked okay the night they performed, and he didn't know her well enough to be concerned about it, but he had still noticed. He couldn't believe they hadn't. “Or I could just remind you that I wasn’t taking steroids during that performance. The others were. I can show you my test results if you don’t believe me.” 

“No, Sebastian, I’ve already seen them. I know that you weren’t taking them,” Mr. Schuester replied, waving a hand. “Blaine, I know you and Sebastian have had your problems in the past--”

“That’s an understatement,” Finn muttered under his breath, and Sebastian fought back a snort of laughter. 

“But,” Schue continued, sounding irritated, “you have to consider our best chances to win Nationals. You can’t deny that Sebastian is a performer. Whatever personal problems you two have, Sebastian can help us. He’s finishing his senior year here, anyway, so we may as well take advantage of that while we can.”

“And if you’ve forgotten how talented Sebastian actually is, I’m sure he’s willing to show you,” Finn added, staring at Blaine with a cool look on his face. “Maybe you just let him, instead of having this fight right now.” 

“Let’s just get on with this, shall we?” Sebastian replied. He set his bag down at the edge of the stage and took a deep breath. He’d practiced this song with Sam and Finn the night previously, but really, he felt pretty good about it. “Brittany and… you two,” he motioned to the brunette who still looked guilty over costing New Directions Sectionals, and the other blonde cheerleader, motioning for them to join him on the stage. “I’m going to sing Jealous by Nick Jonas, if you can keep up.” 

Blaine scowled, and Sebastian smirked. What Blaine couldn’t deny, however, was that Sebastian  _ was _ a natural performer. He had the vocal range, he could pull off a dance number, and he genuinely had fun being a performer. Sure, maybe it wasn’t something he considered an option for himself as a career, but he was good at it. He could keep up with Brittany in a dance number-- at least, he was keeping up with her now as he sang. 

He couldn’t fight an easy smile as Sam and one of the other guys, whose name he didn’t know, but he was pretty sure was a Puckerman, joined him on the stage to finish the song. In his own opinion, it sounded pretty good. The dance number probably could have been better, but then, it wasn’t rehearsed, so the fact that they’d come up with anything was pretty impressive. 

“Sebastian can sing,” Blaine scowled, “we already knew that. He’s still a terrible person!” 

“And that makes you what, exactly?” Sebastian responded, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sure you don’t want me to play this game, but I am more than willing to. I will stand side by side with you on the stage at Nationals, and we will win, lose, or draw together as a team, but we aren’t going to be friends, and I have no reason to be polite.”

“I don’t know about your personal history,” the brunette began softly, stepping forward until she was standing at Sebastian’s left side, “but I do know that we need all the help we can get.” 

“Marley’s right,” the maybe-Puckerman added. “Sam said we needed someone who could pull off a dance number, and I can, but it looks like Sebastian can maybe keep up with Brittany, and I think that’s what we need. Ryder and I managed to make it through a couple weeks of being in this group together and we hated each other, so just put the personal stuff aside and work through it so we can win at Nationals.”

“Gotta admit, boy can sing,” Artie agreed. “He apologized for last year, we were there when he dedicated that song to Karofsky, time to let the past be the past. Welcome to the team, Smythe.”

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“This is insane!” Blaine snapped, clamoring onto the stage and standing toe to toe with Sebastian, who raised an eyebrow. “You don’t get to just come here and take over  _ my _ club. They claimed me as the leader this year, and I’m saying I won’t have it! Get out.”

“No,” Sebastian replied simply, watching the anger swarm over Blaine’s face. “I’m not coming in to take over anything, I’m coming in because I like to perform. You’re the reason I’m here at all, really, so this is actually on you. Do you want me to tell your precious glee club the reason that I’m here?”

“Because you broke my nose and got expelled?” Blaine challenged, shoving Sebastian back sharply. Finn and Sam stepped forward, Finn raising a hand to force Blaine back a few steps. 

“I didn’t get expelled, actually. And I broke your nose because you proposed to my boyfriend in front of me. Did you tell your friends that? Because I’m sure half of them won’t be so cool with that.” 

Apparently he had not told them that, because Artie raised a hand and said, “Hold up,” looking taken aback. “Didn’t you like, cheat on Kurt? Why would you propose to him after you cheated on him?”

“None of this is the point!” Mr. Schuester interrupted, stepping between them and forcing them apart. Blaine dropped back, breathing heavily. “The point is that maybe the club did decide you were the leader, Blaine, but I’m still in charge here. More people here agree to Sebastian joining, so he’s in. You’re going to have to accept that.”

Blaine seethed, and then turned on his heel, storming out of the auditorium. Sebastian glanced at Sam, who shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, dude. Welcome to New Directions.” He held out a hand, and, smirking, Sebastian took it. 

“Dismissed for the evening. Tomorrow, after school, we’re starting to brainstorm for Nationals, so come prepared.”

Sebastian grabbed his bag and exhaled a sigh, shaking his head. It could have gone worse, he supposed, but he was predicting quite a lot of drama in the long run. Thank god it was only three months of this, because someone would end up dead if he had to manage it for a whole year. 

“Hey, Sebastian?” 

Sebastian turned, meeting the eyes of the brunette. Marley, that was what the other guy had called her. “Uh, hey.”

“I just wanted to say I thought you were really good at Sectionals.” Her eyes were bright blue and earnest, and Sebastian blinked, glancing at Sam over Marley’s shoulder. Sam shrugged, offering a grin. 

“Uh, thanks, Marley. I don’t know that I’ve heard you sing, but--”

“No, you haven’t. Um, I just really want to win Nationals this year, so I’m glad we have someone like you on the team now. I know Blaine seems really mad now, but I know he wants to win, too, so I hope things work out.”

“That’s a nice hope to have,” Sebastian replied simply. He couldn’t dignify it with any kind of nice response, she seemed so hopeful and genuine that he didn’t want to explain to her how he and Blaine Anderson were never going to get along, and if he was given half the chance, he would make Blaine’s life miserable. He shouldered his bag and started to walk out of the auditorium, aware that he was being followed by Marley and Sam.

“Making friends already?” Sam joked, elbowing Sebastian lightly. 

“Is that what’s happening right now?”

“I don’t see why we can’t be,” Marley responded earnestly, and Sebastian frowned. “I get that you were kind of a bad guy last year, but everyone can change, right? And I wasn’t here last year, so you’re starting fresh with me.” Flashing a smile, she took a couple steps back. “I’ll see you guys at rehearsal tomorrow.” Waving a little, she turned and walked away.

“Is she always that optimistic?” Sebastian asked Sam as they left the school, making their way to Sebastian’s car in the parking lot. They had carpooled that day, since it was easier all around, and Sam had taken a liking to the Mustang. 

“Marley’s sweet. If she really wants you to be a friend, she’ll be your friend. I told you you wouldn’t be alone here. Hey, can I drive?”

“Absolutely not,” Sebastian snorted, rolling his eyes. “I don’t like you that much.” He pushed his key into the driver’s side door to unlock the car door. 

“Please, I’m your best friend.” 

Sebastian’s hand paused with the key still in the lock, and he glanced up. “Yeah, actually. You are. And even though that is a strange and alternate universe type of thing that’s happening, I still don’t like you enough to let you drive my car.”  Sam flashed a grin as he slid into the passenger’s seat, and Sebastian rolled his eyes. He got into the car as well, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “Did you think we’d be friends last year?” 

“No,” Sam admitted, taking the aux cord before Sebastian could offer it to him. “But I didn’t think that Blaine and I would be not friends, or that you would be dating Kurt, or I’d be dating Brittany. Things change, and sometimes it’s weird. I like being your friend. You like One Direction, right?” 

“Yeah, I do. Surprised you do.” Sebastian started the car and backed out of the school parking lot. Sam shrugged, pressing play on his phone, and Sebastian drummed his fingers against the steering wheel lightly to the beat of the song. “Blaine’s not going to just let this go, is he?”

“No, probably not, but Schue is on your side.”

“A high blessing,” Sebastian scoffed. 

“Yeah, I know. But Finn is on your side, too, and so is Kurt. That’s all that matters, really.” He sounded really sure about that, so Sebastian didn’t argue. “You’re heading to New York when school is over and Blaine will just be a shitty memory, right? So I wouldn’t worry about it, man.”

“I’m not worried about Blaine. But that does beg the question, what are you doing after high school?” Sebastian asked, and it occurred to him suddenly that he would really miss Sam when he was in New York if Sam wasn’t there, too. He hated it, the feeling that he cared about someone that wasn’t himself, or Kurt. Sure, he would definitely miss Nick and Jeff, too, but he knew that he was going to miss Sam more. 

He had never had a  _ best friend _ before. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing yet,” Sam replied softly. “Seems like a lot of my friends are going to be in New York.” That sounded pretty loaded, and Sebastian exhaled a slow breath. He wondered what Kurt would think about this.

“I’m sure you could find something to do in New York, too, Blondie.”

“Do you want me to come to New York, Sebastian?” Sam asked, sounding entirely too amused, and Sebastian rolled his eyes as he parked the car in the driveway of the Hudson-Hummel home. 

“That’s not my choice to make, but for some reason, I think I’d miss you if you weren’t around.” He had no romantic interest in Sam, could never see them being a couple, and he was sure that Sam felt the same way. But he found that he did enjoy his life a little more when Sam was around, and that was what it meant to be a friend to someone. He really hoped that Kurt wouldn’t be jealous over it, considering Kurt was pretty good friends with Sam, too.

“That was almost nice,” Sam replied with a laugh, poking Sebastian’s side. Sebastian squirmed out of the way, turning the car engine off. 

“Feeling like I would miss you less now.”

“Sure you would,” Sam teased, and Sebastian scoffed, getting out of the car. He waited until Sam had gotten out, too, to lock the door. “I’ll think about it, alright? Coming to New York. Being there with you and Kurt would be pretty cool, I think, and Santana and I are kinda friends, too, and you may need me to still be in your corner if Blaine gets into NYADA.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely always going to need you to play my knight in shining armor, because I haven’t proven by now I can handle myself against Blaine,” Sebastian responded sarcastically, walking to the front door and pushing it open. 

“Would it physically pain you to not be sarcastic for once?” 

“Kurt asked me that once, and I told him that it would.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, but he was grinning, and Sebastian found that he was, too. “Whatever. Go call your boyfriend. Tell him I say hi and also that you’re an asshole, which is not information he needs to be reminded of. When you’re off the phone, we’ve got a Nationals show to prepare for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so kind. Your comments warm my heart. Also, I already have the end of this story planned so I'm sorry if it isn't what you're wanting. It's my story.


	22. Chapter 22

“I wish I could be at Nationals. Sounds like it’s going to be a lot of fun,” Kurt said, and Sebastian laughed quietly. Fun was certainly one word for it. Classes weren't so bad, but rehearsals were kicking his ass. In the past two weeks that he’d been at McKinley, the New Directions had deemed him the unofficial dance lead alongside Brittany at Nationals. So Mr. Schuester had set one of their numbers to be a dance song, and he was working his ass off on learning that. 

Aside from the dance routine, Blaine was a rather tiresome part of his life every single day now. Within the first week, Blaine had settled some, and now, most of their ‘fights’ included Blaine glaring at him from across the room, but the jabbed insults and threats had died off. The problem was, they, along with Sam and Marley, were being given a group number to sing together. So, to prepare for that, he found himself spending a lot of time with Blaine, Sam, Marley, and Brittany. 

“Fun?” Sebastian repeated, raising an eyebrow at Kurt through his laptop screen. “That’s not the word I’d use. I think Brittany is trying to kill me.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, which had once been Kurt’s bed, and he had a lot of trouble wrapping his mind around that. He was sleeping in Kurt’s bed, and not in a way that he would have preferred to. “This dance number is a fucking nightmare.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow, smiling at him. “Sounds like you’re doing alright at McKinley, though. Has it been as bad as you thought it would be?”

“The classes are fine. Rehearsal isn’t even as bad as I thought it would be. Blaine is kind of settling, but who knows. There could still be a punch coming, I’m just glad he stopped scowling at me every time I walk in a room,” Sebastian shrugged and leaned back against the headboard of the bed, situating his laptop on his lap comfortably. “Don’t want to talk about him, though. How are things in New York?”

“Keeping me busy,” Kurt replied, smiling a little. “I love Vogue, though, I am having a lot of fun. NYADA classes are great, too, but Rachel is driving me insane. I’ve been challenged to another diva-off, and I just don’t have the energy to handle that.” 

“Haven’t you beat her more than once at these diva-offs?” 

“Yes,” Kurt responded, exhaling a sigh. “She’s been at Santana’s throat, too. I think Santana’s going to murder her.”

“I heard my name.” Santana ducked into view, fixing Sebastian with a smirk. “Hey, twink. Hope you’re saving some of the hobbit for me.”

“All yours, Satan,” Sebastian replied, waving a hand dismissively. “Just don’t kill him until after Nationals, we’ve already started rehearsing.” Santana winked at him and disappeared from view. “Living with them not getting any better, then?” 

Kurt shrugged. “Let’s just say I’m very much looking forward to your graduation and getting an apartment with you. Does that feel like we’re rushing our relationship? I don’t think I’m the best one to judge timelines.”

“Because I am?” Sebastian responded, shrugging a shoulder. “I’m looking forward to it, too. As far as I’m concerned, my heart is already in New York with you, the rest of my body just hasn’t caught up yet.” Which felt a lot like other words, words he hadn’t said yet. Words he didn’t know if he could say yet. They’d been together for a few weeks now, almost a month,, and yeah, things were good. Sebastian couldn’t deny that they’d had far less fights than he had expected them to have. 

He also had to consider that they weren’t actually together. Things were probably going to be more complicated when they were actually living together and seeing each other every day. They were going to get at each other, and be at each other’s throats sometimes, because of the ways their personalities clashed. Of course, all they felt when they talked now was that they missed each other. Maybe he loved Kurt, maybe he didn’t; he wasn’t sure how to process all of that emotion. 

“That’s sweet,” Kurt mused with a soft smile, tilting his head. “I’m putting money aside so we can afford a down payment on an apartment. I’m sure my dad will be willing to help us out. I think he actually likes you, considering he hasn’t called me to tell me I need to break up with you immediately.”

“I happen to like your dad, too. And your brother, shockingly.” Sebastian smiled and pulled one leg up to his chest, exhaling through his nose. “They treat me like I’m part of your family, even if they don’t have any reason to. I appreciate it, because I still haven’t heard from my mom.”

Kurt’s eyes softened sympathetically, and he exhaled a slow sigh. “I’m sorry, Bas. I know that must be rough. Have you considered maybe going to talk to her, if you can? Going to the house when your dad wasn’t there?”

Sebastian nodded, a slight frown curling on his lips. “I had considered, yeah,” he muttered, pushing a hand through his hair with a slight sigh. “I don’t know. I’m worried about just showing up. If she wanted to talk to me, she would have talked to me, right?” He raised a shoulder in a shrug, shaking his head. 

“It’s okay if it makes you nervous. You’re allowed to be upset about it, but if you want to talk to her, you need to. You need that closure,” Kurt assured him softly, his eyes warm. He was doing that thing that he did sometimes, where it seemed like he was looking right through him. Reading the emotions right off of his heart. Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. 

“You’re right. It’s been two weeks, and I need answers.” He caught the yawn Kurt was trying to stifle behind his hand, and his lips curled up into the slightest smirk. “You know, if you’re tired, you can get some sleep. We both have classes early tomorrow.”

“I know, but we don’t get to talk much, and I don’t want to lose any time with you.” 

Something about that statement made Sebastian’s heart twist, beating just a bit faster than it had been a moment before. He felt the same way, and he was sure Kurt knew it, because it showed on his face whenever they talked. According to Finn, Sebastian wore his heart on his sleeve just as much as Kurt did when they spoke, and he was pretty sure it was true; he didn’t try to mask what he felt for Kurt. It was putting all of that to words that he had trouble with. Putting it to words made it real, and it being  _ real _ was what scared Sebastian. 

Luckily, it didn’t seem like Kurt needed those words from him. He already knew, and they didn’t need to discuss it so blatantly. 

“Just a couple more months and you’ll have so much time with me that you may murder me,” Sebastian replied with a shrug, and Kurt laughed, which prompted a smile from Sebastian in return. “But I miss you, too. When we can’t talk much. Just so you know.” 

“I know,” Kurt replied warmly. “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. Goodnight, Kurt.” 

When the call ended, Sebastian closed his laptop and set it aside, standing up and stretching slowly. It was always good to talk to Kurt, even if it felt like it was never long enough. But now Kurt had put something into his brain, and he couldn’t help but overthink it. Frowning, he pulled a hoodie on over his t-shirt and made his way up the stairs. 

Burt Hummel was sitting in a chair in the living room, watching something on the TV, and he only half glanced up when Sebastian stepped through the doorway. “Sit down. You a fan of old movies? St. Elmo’s Fire is playing.”

“Yeah, I like St. Elmo’s Fire,” Sebastian replied hesitantly, before moving to sit down on the couch. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and he laced his fingers together, staring at his knuckles. “Burt? Can I ask a favor from you? I know you’ve done a lot for me already, but--”

“Ask whatever you need.”

“I know that I’m not… your son. And you don’t have to… But I really need to talk to my mom and the only way I can think to do that is to go to my parents’ house and talk to her face to face. I don’t know if I can… do that alone.”

Burt muted the TV and turned his body towards Sebastian, and Sebastian shifted uncomfortably. Having Burt’s full attention on him was nerve wracking, but he also appreciated that Burt wasn’t just giving this part of his mind. It was something that mattered, and he was paying attention like it did. Sebastian couldn’t meet his eyes, staring instead at the floor between his feet. 

“You want me to come with you to talk to your mom, you just name the time and I’ll be there. You may not be my kid, but you need a parent figure in your life, and I’ll damn sure give you one,” Burt replied firmly. 

Sebastian exhaled suddenly, shakily, as a sob shook through his body. It was too much. It was more than he could handle. He knew, of course, that Burt liked him, at least. They got along well when they had their family dinners on Friday night. But this was more than just getting along, and Sebastian had expected an instant rebuttal, an instant  _ refusal _ . So to not have that-- he felt like he was going to cry. But he couldn’t cry, couldn’t let that weakness show.

“I didn’t expect…”

“Your dad didn’t give you the best expectations for what a parent does, kid,” Burt replied with a shrug. “Sucks, honestly, but it ain’t on you that that man didn’t raise you right. You’re staying in this house, and if you need something, all you gotta do is ask. Me, and Carole, we’ll do our best to provide it, and if we can’t, we’ll do our best to explain why. We haven’t always been perfect with Kurt and Finn, but we’ve always tried our best with them, and then with Sam, and that extends to you.” 

Sebastian stared at Burt, speechless. His eyes were wet with unshed tears, and Burt met them unblinkingly. He didn’t shy away, and, in fact, moved to sit with Sebastian on the couch, resting a hand on his shoulder. “My dad told me that crying is a weakness,” Sebastian whispered, wiping at his eyes with one hand. 

“Screw him,” Burt responded. A startled laugh escaped Sebastian’s lips. “Do you need a hug, Sebastian?” Wordlessly, Sebastian nodded, and Burt pulled him into a hug. 

Sebastian couldn’t remember the last time his father had hugged him, couldn’t remember if he ever had. His mom had, but even that had become pretty rare once he was in high school, and after his year in Paris, there had been such a distance between them. She tried, and he had to give her credit for what she had done for him throughout his life, but this kind of closeness was a rare thing in his house. 

He let himself cry. The tears came hard and fast, damn near uncontrollable. Burt didn’t say anything, didn’t push him away, didn’t try to force him to ‘man up’. There was nothing like that, and after a few seconds, Sebastian stopped waiting for it to come, and he let himself cry more. All of the hurt and anger and fear and every other negative emotion, he let it course through his system and seep out of him, and he cried. 

And Burt Hummel let him, in a way Sebastian had never known that he needed. But he had needed it, and he was grateful. 

“Thank you,” he muttered, embarrassed, as he wiped his eyes again once he’d gotten his emotions under control. 

“Any time, kid,” Burt said simply, and Sebastian had to pretend he couldn’t see the sadness in his eyes.


End file.
